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Relationship Nuggets 001

Relationship is not about finding someone that will provide solution to all your problems. Having such mentality will make you become a liability in your relationship. Rather focus on finding a partner that wouldn’t become another problem in your life. A/An cheating/aggressive/abusive/irresponsible partner will create more problems for you than the happiness they will bring you. Don’t ever settle for an abusive/unhealthy relationship with the hope that things will change for good soon while you keep putting up with the physical/emotional abuse, emotional pain and torture or domestic violence. Hope alone wouldn’t change an abusive partner/relationship for good. Many have gone to their early grave because of this foolish hope. Be wise, it is better to be alone than to endure an abusive relationship. Loneliness wouldn’t kill but abusive relationship has made many leave this world unceremoniously.

 
Everyone comes into a relationship with their baggages. A good relationship is the one where both partners help each other to unpack those baggages. Almost everyone has been hurt, cheated, betrayed, disappointed, lied to in their past relationships and all these have a way of shaping our beliefs about relationships and how we will behave towards our partner in the next relationship. Find someone that will help you unpack your baggages. Fine someone that will help you unlearn bad habit and drop negative belief you picked in your past relationships. Find someone that will assist you to become better person. Their are lots of healthy, loving, lasting and supportive relationships if you are yet to be in one keep searching don’t settle for less.

 
Trust is very important in a relationship. Most issues causing fight, misunderstanding, argument and quarrels can be trace back to trust issues. If you want a healthy, loving and lasting relationship ensure you build a solid foundation of trust between you and your partner. Try as much as possible to be honest, truthful and open about everything and anything that can hurt your partner’s feelings if they found out by themselves. Learn to prevent yourself from lying to someone you want to trust you because you will find it difficult yourself to trust someone who is fond of lying to you.

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I Want You By My Side

When am with you time fleets, a day goes by like a millisecond.

I need more hours with you.

I want to spend every minute of my life with you by my side.

I am at my best when am with you.

The sight of you cause my heart to leap for joy.

Your charming smile is all it takes to brighten up my day.

Your sweet voice is all it takes to turn a miserable day into a great day for me.

There is nothing I want more than to have you by my side every day of my life.

No distance is too far to walk just to be by your side.

I will gladly walk through fire, swim through ocean and climb the highest mountain if that’s what it will take to be with you.

There is nothing more important than having you by my side.

Nothing can make me stop loving and longing for you.

You are my dream come true.

Everything about you is perfect and beautiful.

You have make my life a beautiful one from the moment you became a part of it.

You are a gift from God to me.

Don’t Marry A Man/Woman With These Behaviour: 4 Red Flag Signs You Must Not Overlook In A Relationship.

Relationship and marriage failure don’t just happen overnight. Relationships and marriages don’t turn violent, abusive and unhealthy all of a sudden. There are signs at the beginning that we often ignore because we chose to be blinded by our emotion or we are hopeful that things will just get better without addressing them. At the initial stage of the relationship people usually try as much as possible to be sweet and hide their true character. However, character they say is like a smoke which cannot be hidden forever- it always reveal itself.

One important thing to do at the beginning of a relationship is to pay close attention to the character/behaviour of your partner before you get too deeply attached to him/her emotionally.

You must never let your emotion get the best of you in the face of potential danger.

Don’t let your emotion do the thinking for you.

Don’t get too desperate to be in a relationship just because you are tired of being single.

Most abusive relationship could have been totally avoided at the beginning before getting deeply involved if only the persons involved had pay attention to red flag signs you must not ignore in a relationship before it get too serious.

Here are the red flag signs you must watch out for if you dont want to end up in a violent or abusive relationship/marriage:

1. Aggressiveness: I saw a video on twitter about a lady who was beaten black and blue by her ex just because she left him. In the video, she said she didn’t believe she could survived the violent attack. I must say she is lucky because most victims of aggressive and violent partners don’t live to tell their bitter story.

We can tell if someone is overly aggressive in a relationship but oftentimes we make excuses for their aggressive actions towards us because we have become emotionally attached to them.

If he hits you at will when you are still dating just imagine how often he will use you as a punchbag over little misunderstanding when you are both married.

Some ladies make a mistake of perceiving aggression as manliness.

If you think he will use his aggression to protect you, think twice because you will surely become a victim of it one day.

Aggressiveness is not only a male gender thing, it applies to the female too.

There are women physically abusing their husband or even ending their hubby life.

If she throws object at you or uses dangerous objects to threaten you during a misunderstanding, you should know that you are not safe in such a relationship.

Aggressiveness is a red flag sign that most people usually overlook when they allow their emotion to overrule their judgement.

The sad news is most people that make this grievous mistake don’t live to tell their story while few that survived abusive relationship with an aggressive partner carries with them a fearsome memory and an indellible scar they will not forget for the rest of their lives.

So be careful before you decide to ignore this red flag sign.

2. Irresponsible behaviour: Most people focus too much on physical looks and financial status before considering a prospective partner. That in itself is not a bad idea if only the important things are not trivialize or ignored completely.

The important thing to look out for when it comes to chosing a partner is the person’s behaviour/character.

This is because it is the behaviour of the person that will determine how they will treat you or conduct theirself in the relationship.

If you are planning to get married to someone, it is important for you to be sure he/she doesn’t have a behaviour that will frustrate and jeopardize the success of nuptial conjugation in the nearest future.

We have heard lot of stories of irresponsible partners leading to high rise in divorce rate in our generation. Some are stories of married men neglecting their marital responsibility while chasing single ladies in town. Or men neglecting their pregnant wife. Women are not left out. Stories of married women leaving their children and husband for a richer guy is also all over the place.

You must be sure if he/she is a responsible person. That’s someone that wouldn’t neglect his/her marital responsibily and daring the consequences.

3. Promiscuity: Staying faithful and loyal is a personal choice which require self control. Faithfulness and loyalty are very important for the success of any relationship/marriage.

However, some people are not willing to deny their body of any sexual pleasure.

They lack the self control/discipline require to stay faithful to one sexual partner. They allow their sexual urges dictate their action at the expenses of their relationship.

People like these often says everyone cheat.

You must stay away from people like these if you know you can’t handle seeing your partner sleeping around when you are married.

If he/she does it during dating/courtship period, chances are high he/she will continue to do it when you eventually get married.

Some people see promiscuity as a normal way of life.

They believe everyone cheats and it is impossible to stay faithful to one sexual partner for a long time.

These are lies promiscuous person or cheater use to justify their abnormal behaviour.

Cheating is not normal in a relationship. Cheating is not a mistake but a choice.

It indicates lack of self control over sexual urges.

It shows that the person don’t really care about hurting their partner’s feelings.

Men and women cheat.

Not all men cheat and same can be said for women.

Don’t make a mistake of settling for a promiscuous partner just because people are saying everyone cheat.

Not everyone cheat. There are still people(men and women) who don’t cheat.

4. Manipulative behaviour: This is the last red flag sign you should watch out for in a relationship before you consider take it to another level -marriage.

Some people are expert at manipulating people.

They don’t enter into a relationship because they are in love, they only enter when they have find someone they can manipulate and take undue advantage of financially or in other area base on their need.

What they do is to use people to further their own selfish cause.

They will blackmail you emotionally or bully/threaten you just to get what they want in the relationship.

Partner like this will want you to do everything for them as if you are oblige to.

If you fail to do what they ask of you, they will throw tantrum at you like kids do.

They will pick up a fight with you or say stuff that will make you feel guilty.

Be careful of emotional manipulators.

Pay attention to the red flag signs discussed so as not to regret your decision later in the future concerning your choice of partner like most married people are regretting.

Don’t Stay In An Abusive/Unhealthy Relationship: Relationship Is Not A Do Or Die Affair

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

Relationship should not be rush into just because you dread the feeling of being lonely.

Being single doesn’t mean your life is miserable.

So don’t enter into a relationship because you are lonely. You shouldn’t allow loneliness push you into unhealthy or toxic relationship.

Why would you stay in a relationship that bring continuous sorrow and pain to you, when there is someone out there who will cherish you and go the extra mile just to ensure you are happy.

Life is too short why would you decide to spend most of it in sadness and sorrow all in a name of relationship.

Our relationship determines to a great extent if we are going to enjoy our life on earth or not.

Though no relationship is perfect but a healthy relationship will not derail your life or career and bring you continuous sorrow, pain and sleepless night.

A person that truly loves you will always be careful not to hurt your feelings and make concerted effort to make you a happier and better person than you can be without him/her.

Relationship is not all about money.

Relationship is not all about catching feelings.

Relationship is not all about physical attraction.

You must learn to develop your emotional intelligence so as to prevent your emotions from controlling your life and causing you to make wrong choice when it comes to chosing a partner.

You must not allow your emotion to always determine the direction of your life and relationship.

Stop desiring or longing for someone who take you for granted just because he/she looks great or support you financially.

Stop longing for someone who you have to fight for his/her attention and affection just you find it difficult to stop thinking about him/her.

Stop falling in love with the same kind of people that keep using and dumping you.

Stop falling in love with people that make you feel inadequate and hard to love.

You need to displine and guide your heart.

Guide your heart with all dilligent for out of it flows the decision that will make or mar you in life and relationship.

Only give your heart to someone that will value and take good care of it.

Stop chasing people that you need to convince before they notice your worth and uniqueness.

Quit worrying about someone who does not have time for you.

You don’t need to beg for attention and affection from a person that loves and values you.

Learn to let go of any person or relationship that continuously cause you pain/hurt your feelings.

Any relationship that take away your happiness, peace of mind and sound night sleep is too expensive, let it go.

You must learn to know when to keep fighting for your relationship and when to give up on a dead relationship.

Love yourself enough to settle for someone that makes you happy and better.

You must also know that there is a difference between fighting for love and fighting for someone to love you.

Real and true love is never complicated, the moment things is getting complicated that is the best time to walk away.

Complicated relationship is nothing but time waster and joy killer.

Decide to always be with someone that cherish and appreciates you.

Decide to either be in a healthy relationship or be alone.

Signs That Will Tell If He/She Is Your Soulmate: 10 Habits Of A Soulmate

A Soulmate is a person that loves you truly and have decided to stick with you through thick and thin.

Relationship is sweeter and animated when you find your soulmate.

Most people have found their soulmate but unknowingly let him/her go because they have unrealistic idea of a soulmate.

A soulmate is a human just like you.

Imperfect and mundane just like you.

But if you observe your relationship with them, you will notice that there is something unique about them.

They might not have answers to all your problems but they are willing to find the answers with you.

They complete and compliment you.

They love you the way you have never been love before.

They bring you comfort, peace of mind and happiness.

They encourage you to launch out and be your best possible.

They simply bring something new to your life.

So how will you know if he/she is your soulmate?

Here are signs that will help you know if he/she is your soulmate.

The 10 habits of a soulmate……

 

1. He/she makes you happy: Happiness is a personal decision. It must stem from within. Truth must be told, people in our lives also contribute largely to our happiness or sadness. Your partner have great influence on your mood.

Their actions/words can either make you happy or sad. A soulmate will make deliberate effort to ensure you are happy always and will never feel unconcern when you are sad.

 

2. He/she listens to you: Everyone is occupied by his/her own problem no matter how small it is.

Everyone is busy with their lives.

Most people don’t take time to listen to others to know exactly what they are passing through when something sensitive is been discuss with them.

A soulmate will never be too busy to listen to you.

He/she will eagerly put aside every other thing they are doing just to listen to you no matter what you have to say.

This is because he/she genuinely care about what you have to say and desire to know what you are going through.

A soulmate listen to understand not to jump to conclusion or judge you.

 

3. He/she challenges you: A soulmate knows your potential through constant interraction with you this make them to push and challenge to reach your full potential.

He/she finds joy in you achieving more and becoming your best possible.

He/she will never allow you to settle for mediocrity in whatever you set out to do.

A soulmate simply bring out the best in you.

 

4. He/she encourages you: Relationship is suppose to give us an assurance that no matter what happens even if the whole world go against us, there will always be one person to support and encourage us- our partner.

That is exactly what soulmate does.

A soulmate will always be your number one cheerleader.

 

5. He/she accept you: A soulmate will accept you for who you are without making you feel inadequate in anyway whatsoever.

A soulmate will love and accept you unconditionally, flaws and all.

 

6. He/she will never desert you: A soulmate is not someone that stays with you only when things are easy and rosy.

A soulmate will stay with you through thin and thick.

He/she will not desert you just because you are passing through a difficult times.

Instead of deserting you, a soulmate will stick around and help you overcome your challenges and difficulties.

 

7. He/she cherish you: To cherish is to love dearly. A soulmate will cherish you and appreciate your presence in his/her life.

What you cherish, you can’t take for granted. A soulmate will never take you for granted no matter how long you have been together.

He/she will instead cherish you more as the years goes by.

A soulmate will not get tired of you or lose respect for you just because you have been together for long. A soulmate will never stop loving you even when he/she is mad at you.

And he/she can not stay mad at you for long.

 

8. He/she finds it easy to appease you: A soulmate will value your happiness and peace of mind.

He/she understands that his/her actions can affects you directly or indirectly hence they are careful not to do things that will hurt your feelings.

Whenever he/she mistakenly hurt your feelings he/she will not find it difficult to say sorry to you.

He/she understand that apologizing when you are wrong is maturity and evidence that you value your partner’s feelings.

A soulmate doesn’t place his ego above his/her relationship or partner’s happiness.

A soulmate will gladly appease you when you angry or unhappy irrespective of who is at fault just to make sure you are happy.

 

9. He/she makes you feel comfortable: A soulmate will ensure you are comfortable around him/her so you don’t see the need to pretend.

A soulmate encourages you to express your true self. He/she will make you feel at ease when you around him/her.

A soulmate will not condemn or look down on you based on your personality type.

 

10. He/she correct and teach you: These days lots of people find joy in criticizing, mocking and judging people publicly when they make mistakes.

Very few people constructively correct and teach. Correction and teaching are acts of love.

A soulmate will correct/teach you so that you can improve in any area you are lagging behind.

A soulmate will not make an open mockery of you no matter your mistakes because he/she understands that shame to one is shame to both partners in a relationship.

Though a soulmate will not support you to indulge in a destructive habits.

A soulmate help you to desist from bad habits that can destroy your life.

He/she assist you to become a better woman or man.

A soulmate will not pressurize you to indulge in bad habits.
Everyone desire a relationship with a touch of paradise. A soulmate will give you that.

A soulmate will bring out the best in you. He/she will encourage and challenge you to be a better person. He/she will bring happiness to your life not sorrow and pain.

A soulmate is not a perfect person but someone committed to adding value to their partner’s life and making sure what they share last forever.

A soulmate is unforgetable, indispensable and irreplaceable.

Are you connected to your spouse on soul level ?

Are you your spouse soulmate?

If you can’t boldly answer yes. Here is your opportunity to improve your relationship.

Practise these 10 habits to be able to connect on a soul level with your partner and become a better partner to your spouse which will ultimately make your relationship a better one -paradise on earth.

Love Knows No Boundary

Love is beautiful, ethereal and divine.

It has no boundary.

Love is not dependent on race, colour, religion or ethnicity.

Where there is love age, distance, weight and height are just numbers.

Love supercedes religion and ethnicity.

Love don’t wait for permission before it happens.

We don’t find love, love finds us.

Never let go of love because of differences in religion, tribe, educational status, financial status, social class or race.

Let love always lead the way.

Love doesn’t harm.

It doesn’t manipulate or take undue advantage.

It is not selfish.

Love abides till death separate.

Love is never one sided.

Love don’t just take, it also give back.

Love is the essense of life.

Love make everyone of us come alive.

Love breeds trust.

Love gives hope, joy and untold happiness.

Love is life.

Life is meaningless and boring without love.

Love is our soft spot.

Love is never a weakness but strength.

Love is not for the feeble minded.

It takes courage to fall in love and give your heart away to a stranger without the certainty that it will not be broken into pieces.

Love accentuate our humanity.

Love bring out the best in us.

Love is tender, caring, understanding, accommodating and forgiving.

Love is medicinal to the heart that carries it.

Without love humanity is bound for self destruction.

Don’t ever hate love or doubt its existence.

Don’t ever give up on love.

If you are yet to find love, keep searching it will find you soon.

If you have found love, cherish it and never take it for granted or let go.

Love is beautiful and it will make your life bright and beautiful.

Don’t fall in love with the wrong person.

A person that will abuse, manipulate or mistreat you.

Watch out for the character of your potential partner because it matters in the long run.

Make sure you wait for the right person. A person that will cherish, value and celebrate you.

Feminism Is Not Hatred For Men: All Men Are Not Scum

Feminism is not hatred for all men based on your experience with few men. If you have been treated badly by some men, blaim it on your wrong choice of men not on the male gender as a whole.

All men can not be seen as a cheat.

All men are not the same.

Never generalize because all generalization is false.

If you think or believe all men are scum, it is because of your experience with few men who are scumbags.

Which means you actually made a mistake of choosing those few scumbag instead of the good men around you for reasons known or unknown to you.
Hating all men will not change anything or do you any good.

Hatred eat up the heart that holds it.

Hatred for men because of your past experience with some men who are scum will only make your life fill with bitterness, it would never improve your life or make it better.

Instead of hating all men because you were not treated well by the ones you have been with, it’s better you take time to evaluate the qualities you are attracted to in men or the kind of men who you have always been having in your life.

Obviously, if you have been attracting the wrong kind of men, changing your choice of men will be the best thing to do instead of hating all men including those who don’t even know you exist.

Take your time to ascertain the qualities of a man before you give him your heart and be head over heel for him.

You should know that there are good men and there are bad men, just like there are good and bad women.

You just need to find the good ones.

If you discovered you are always moving from one unhealthy or abusive relationship to another, do not because of that assumed that all men are scum.

However, It is okay if you concluded that all the men you have been with are nothing but scum based on how you were treated by them.

The solution to your relationship problem is not calling all men scum but changing the kind of men you roll with.

Don’t focus on the problem rather direct your energy on the solution.

Feminism is not hatred for men but a strong belief in equal right and opportunity for all irrespective of the gender.

It means any girl/woman can achieve what any boy/man can achieve or even more.

It means as woman you don’t have to sleep with men before you can takecare of yourself.

It means a woman should not be reduced to just a sex object or baby making machine.

It means as a woman you should not allow any man to manipulate, abuse, maltreat or violate your basic human right all in the name of a relationship or marriage.

It means you can be financially independent. Your gender does not put a limitation on your potential or dreams.

Feminism does not means you should drink, smoke and party hard like guys do.

It means you should give any guy a run for his money.

It means you should strive to be better financially, intellectually, academically, social-relevance wise and in every area just like a man or even better.

Feminism is a movement for freedom for all women all over the world.

However, freedom is not the right to do what you like but what is right.

Set yourself free from any abusive or unhealthy relationship.

Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated, abused, used and dump by men.

Know your worth as a woman. Set standards for yourself.

Be a woman with dignity.

Let it be clear you will not be disrespected in a relationship.

Settle only for men who respect, appreciate, love and treats you well.

Decide to only be with a man that will challenge you to be a better person and support your dream and career.

Don’t settle for just any type of relationship.

If it is not making you happier and better than you can be on your own then it is not worth your precious time and effort.

Don’t hate all men for what few bad men did to you.

Rather focus on finding and spending time with men with good qualities.