Tag: Respect

It’s Better To Be Single And Lonely

Two are better than one because they can keep each other’s company, make each other happy, care for each other, encourage and support each other.

This is the essence of a relationship.

Relationship should add value to our lives not detract it.

Relationship should make our lives easier not complicated.

Relationship should help us to become happier and better than we can be on our own not the other way round.

Relationship should help us stay focus on what is important and achieve our dreams and ambitions not distract us and hold us back.

Life has its ups and downs already relationship should not add to it. Many stuff in life for instance work causes stress so relationship should not compound it.

Relationship is not a do or die affair. You don’t have to be in a relationship just because you are afraid or tired of being single and lonely.

Don’t stay in a relationship that makes your life miserable and deprived you of your peace of mind and sound night sleep.

It’s is better to be alone than to be in a relationship with a partner who is doing any of the following:

 
1) A partner that takes you and your efforts for granted.

 
2) A partner that lies to you about everything and anything, making you look like a fool in the presence of others.

 
3) A partner that makes you look like a fool for caring too much.

 
4) A partner who put you in doubt about where you actually belong in their life. Someone who is not committed to you.

 
5) A partner who takes undue advantage of you financially or in any way just because they know you love them so much and you are willing to do anything for them.

 
6) A partner who feels like he or she is doing you a favor by being with you.

 
7) A partner who doesn’t respect, support or appreciate you.

 
8) A partner that abuses you physically, emotionally, mentally or sexually.

 
9) A partner who sees and treats you as a competitor and feels threatened by your success and progress in life and career especially when you are getting ahead of them.

 
10) A partner who you have to beg for his/her attention and affection.

 
Relationship should be something you start because you have found the right person who is willing to put in the same effort you will put to ensure things work out.

Relationship should only start when you have find that one person that truly loves and cares about you just the same you do about them and also need you in his/her life to complete and compliment it like you also need them.

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Relationship Nuggets 003

Relationship is not a do or die affair. It is something to be enjoy not endure. Truth be told, relationship is not expected to be a bed of roses all of the time but it shouldn’t be a bed of thorns most/all of the time you are with your partner. The only relationship worthy of your time and effort is a healthy relationship. In a healthy relationship your efforts is appreciated and reciprocated. Don’t be in a relationship where you are the only one doing the loving, checking up and apologizing when things go wrong. Such relationship is not good for your mental and emotional well-being. You deserve a relationship where you are loved, cherish, appreciated, pampered and celebrated. So don’t settle for a relationship where you are treated badly or like you are a scumbag.

 
Do you know what you want in a relationship? Before starting a new relationship, the first and most important thing to do is to know exactly what you want in a relationship. Knowing what you want will prevent you from ending up with what you don’t want. After having a concrete knowledge of what you want in a relationship, you must be determined to fight the temptation to settle for less. People who settled for less usually regret it later and end up telling people that care to listen that they would have marry another person if not for one reason or another. It’s important to note that knowing what you want in a relationship has nothing to do with setting unrealistic standards. It involves knowing the qualities you want in a mate and how you want to be treated in a relationship.

 
You don’t need a perfect person in order to have a healthy and loving relationship. All you need is a person that is willing to put in effort needed to make you feel loved and happy. A person that wouldn’t take you for granted or become a source of pain and hurt to you after you have show how much you love him/her. A person that will value, respect, cherish and appreciate you. A person that will know your weakness, past mistakes, imperfection and flaws yet still finds you amazing and beautiful. A person that won’t get tired of you no matter how long you have been together. A person that will be faithful, committed and loyal to you. When you find such a person never take such for granted because relationship can only be healthy, loving and lasting if both partners are willing and committed to make it so.

What Do You Want In A Relationship?

confusedThe aim of most serious relationship is to end in marriage.

Almost everyone desire to enjoy a happy married life.

However, desire, hope, wishes or prayers alone does not guarantee a happy married life.

A happy married life is an ultimate accomplishment when it comes to relationship for most people.

Success in any sphere of life requires extra effort and same can be said for relationships.

A happy married life must be work towards from the word go.

It takes knowing what you really want and not settling for less.

It also takes time, unconditional love, commitment, faithfulness, forgiveness, sacrifice, self displine, determination, emotional maturity among others.

These requirements must be streaming from both partners before a relationship can be able to stand the test of time and still remain healthy and loving.
Relationship and marriages fail most times because people don’t know exactly what they want.

If you want to be truly happy in your relationship you must clearly define exactly what you want in a relationship.

Talking about what you want in a relationship, am not referring to the superficial qualities like physical attractiveness, educational, social and financial status.

It is quite sad that most people over focus on them while ignoring things that are more important when it comes to chosing a partner.

Hold on for a second before you get me wrong.

I am not saying physical attraction, financial capability, social and academic status are not important.

They are definitely important.

It is cool to be with someone you can flaunt because of their good look.

Money makes love sweeter. Infact finance is the fuel for romance. Social and educational status makes it easy to connect on an intellectual level in a relationship.
Many relationships and marriages still failed inspite of having all these qualities present in their spouses.

Why so?

There are many people in relationship or marriage with a very good looking partner who is financially okay and also share similar academic and social status yet they are not happy together.

So what is the missing link in their relationship?

It is important to know the really important things when it comes to relationship.

The important thing to do before venturing into a love affair is to first sit down and highlight what you really want in a relationship.

You should define the kind of person you want.

You should clearly state out the qualities you desire in a mate.

For instance, you can say you want a person that is confident, caring, non-violent, understanding, friendly, open minded, respectful, law abiding among others.

You must also clearly define how you will be treated and what you will not endure or tolerate in a relationship.

Without a concrete resolution on what you want in a relationship you will continue to settle for just any person that comes your way which will make it pretty difficult to enjoy a loving and healthy relationship needless to mention a happy married life.
Relationship is beyond just having a good looking, educated or financially buoyant partner.

You also need someone that will treat well.

You need someone that will show you unconditional love.

You need someone that will let you know you mean the world to him/her.

You need someone that will make you feel special and on top of the world.

You need someone that is afraid to lose you.

You need someone that will dry away your tears and make deliberate effort to make you happy on a consistent basis without a reason.

You need someone that will accept, value and respect you for who you are.

You need someone that is committed to helping you to be your best possible in every sphere of life.

You need someone you don’t have to beg or compete for his/her attention and affection.

You need someone who is proud to have you and wouldn’t hesitate to show you off to his friends and family.

My aim of writing this article is to help you enjoy your relationship by knowing exacting what you want as an individual when it comes to your relationship goals.

So what do you want in a relationship?

Do you know what your heart, soul and body want in terms of relationship?

Feminism Is Not Hatred For Men: All Men Are Not Scum

Feminism is not hatred for all men based on your experience with few men. If you have been treated badly by some men, blaim it on your wrong choice of men not on the male gender as a whole.

All men can not be seen as a cheat.

All men are not the same.

Never generalize because all generalization is false.

If you think or believe all men are scum, it is because of your experience with few men who are scumbags.

Which means you actually made a mistake of choosing those few scumbag instead of the good men around you for reasons known or unknown to you.
Hating all men will not change anything or do you any good.

Hatred eat up the heart that holds it.

Hatred for men because of your past experience with some men who are scum will only make your life fill with bitterness, it would never improve your life or make it better.

Instead of hating all men because you were not treated well by the ones you have been with, it’s better you take time to evaluate the qualities you are attracted to in men or the kind of men who you have always been having in your life.

Obviously, if you have been attracting the wrong kind of men, changing your choice of men will be the best thing to do instead of hating all men including those who don’t even know you exist.

Take your time to ascertain the qualities of a man before you give him your heart and be head over heel for him.

You should know that there are good men and there are bad men, just like there are good and bad women.

You just need to find the good ones.

If you discovered you are always moving from one unhealthy or abusive relationship to another, do not because of that assumed that all men are scum.

However, It is okay if you concluded that all the men you have been with are nothing but scum based on how you were treated by them.

The solution to your relationship problem is not calling all men scum but changing the kind of men you roll with.

Don’t focus on the problem rather direct your energy on the solution.

Feminism is not hatred for men but a strong belief in equal right and opportunity for all irrespective of the gender.

It means any girl/woman can achieve what any boy/man can achieve or even more.

It means as woman you don’t have to sleep with men before you can takecare of yourself.

It means a woman should not be reduced to just a sex object or baby making machine.

It means as a woman you should not allow any man to manipulate, abuse, maltreat or violate your basic human right all in the name of a relationship or marriage.

It means you can be financially independent. Your gender does not put a limitation on your potential or dreams.

Feminism does not means you should drink, smoke and party hard like guys do.

It means you should give any guy a run for his money.

It means you should strive to be better financially, intellectually, academically, social-relevance wise and in every area just like a man or even better.

Feminism is a movement for freedom for all women all over the world.

However, freedom is not the right to do what you like but what is right.

Set yourself free from any abusive or unhealthy relationship.

Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated, abused, used and dump by men.

Know your worth as a woman. Set standards for yourself.

Be a woman with dignity.

Let it be clear you will not be disrespected in a relationship.

Settle only for men who respect, appreciate, love and treats you well.

Decide to only be with a man that will challenge you to be a better person and support your dream and career.

Don’t settle for just any type of relationship.

If it is not making you happier and better than you can be on your own then it is not worth your precious time and effort.

Don’t hate all men for what few bad men did to you.

Rather focus on finding and spending time with men with good qualities.

Know Your Worth

When we find ourselves in a toxic relationship where we are being treated badly by our partner, we hope they are going to change for the better especially when the partner used to be sweet and good to us.

We put up with their not so good behaviours, doing a little complaining here and there but not doing anything definite to be taken serious by the partner.

So things remain the same or get worse.

The mistake most of us make is we don’t realize that its up to us to determine how people treat us.

Truth be told, you can’t change anybody- people are who they chose to be.

But your power lies in the ability to determine who stays or doesn’t stay in your life.

Now, that is a boundless power.

Until you realize and harness this power it might be difficult to be truly happy.

It is through this power we re-enforce or encourage how people should treat us.

You must know that what you encourage is what continues.

How do you encourage people to treat you in a certain way?

You do so by putting up with their actions.

When you put up with something you give a signal that such is okay with you.

I believe its time to stop enduring what is tearing you apart from within.

Take a stand for yourself.

Know your value and worth.

Don’t be in a relationship where you are not respected, appreciated and treated well.

If you are not being treated the way you want in your relationship, its better to get out of such relationship.

Your goal should be to be with someone that knows your value and treats you better than you think you deserve. #296 Quote

Love Doctor’s Advice 008

Communication is the lifeline of a loving and healthy relationship. Make effort to communicate with your partner on a daily basis. Don’t assume your partner understand things. Assumptions is the cause of most misunderstanding and conflicts. Communicate your thoughts, fears, concerns and mood clearly. Make sure you are understood. When you make your partner understand what you are passing through, it will be easy for them to provide support. Regular communication makes partner not just lovers but also best friends.

 
There is nothing perfect in this imperfect world. No one is perfect including you. So stop expecting your partner to be perfect. Stop setting unrealistic expectations and standards for your partner. Accept your partner the way they are. If there is need for improvement, communicate it with love. Nothing transforms people faster than love. Complaining and nagging hardly works.

 
Don’t avoid arguments and misunderstanding by all cost in your relationship. Most relationships without little arguments and fights here and there, are usually full of secrets and partners who don’t really care. Give room for quarrels and misunderstanding, it enables you to know each other better. Though they must be handle maturely and you must put the relationship first ahead of individual’s ego.

 
Misunderstanding and conflicts are normal occurrence when two people from different backgrounds, exposure and temperament come together as one in a relationship. Expect and understand this so you don’t think you two have fall out of love when it starts happening. Create a harmless way to resolve the misunderstanding and conflicts that will inevitably happen in your relationship.You must resolved never to attack each other physically or use deregatory language against each other during quarrels. Such resolution helps a great deal. When you are determined to resolve issues and not dissolve your relationship. It will strengthen the bond between you and your partner.

 
Respect is very important in a relationship if you want it to be a healthy, loving and lasting one. You must respect your partner’s opinion, space and person- who they are. Respect should never be a one sided affair. It should not be genderly based. Respect should be reciprocated. Give your partner respect and expect it in return.

Love Doctor’s Advice 003

The key to having a healthy and loving relationship is to learn how to accept your fault when you did something wrong without being told: And to be able to apologise without being asked.

 

Don’t ever be intimated by the success of your partner. In a healthy relationship success of one is the success of other. Don’t feel inferior because your partner is more successful than you. Learn to give your support and encouragement to spur your partner to even greater height. If you can do this they will believe deeply that the success they have achieved would not have been possible without your presence in their life. They will give you credit for their successes and you will both enjoy the benefit of the success. Push your lover to become a better person in every aspect of their life.

 

Relationship is about living together not just being together. Living together involves growing, learning, getting better and accomplishing great feats together. This creates stronger bond than just having feelings for each other.

 

Trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Learn to trust but never trust blindly. Make effort to verify the trustworthiness of the person you are trusting. You verify by paying attention to little things they do, say and left unsaid. Verifying prevent you from getting deeply hurt if your partner aim was to deceive and take undue advantage of you through the relationship.

 

Never should you embarrass your lover privately or publicly. As a lover your words carry weight. Don’t say things that will damage their self esteem or hurt their feelings. A relationship is a place where you build each other up not tear down each other. Treat your partner with respect everytime most especially in the public. And they will love and respect you more.