Tag: Money

4 Signs That Will Let You Know If He Is A Player

One of the most frequently asked questions from ladies in Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa and India whenever I am sought after for relationship advice is “how can I know if he is real? “.

In other words, they are asking how can they differentiate between a guy that that truly loves them from those guys that just want to hit the jackpot few things and then hit the road.

Lot of single ladies are concerned about knowing how to separate a guy with genuine interest from the guy that is just after sex.

Guys who after getting sex move to the next available woman. Guys like that are often referred to as players because they play with ladies emotions in order to get what they want.

This article is written in order to help you spot guys whose intentions is to play around love just to get you to bed and then move to the next lady.

My purpose of writing is to help you as a lady avoid unnecessary heartbreaks, heartaches and disappointment.

Who is a player?

A player is someone who plays around love in order to get sex.

He pretends to have genuine interest in a lady until he gets what he is really after then shows his true colours.

A player is just after the moment, he doesn’t foresee a future with you.

A player is like a hunter, he keeps his gaze upon his target.

He does everything practically possible to get his target.

He chase unrelentingly until he gets what he wants.

He goes the extra mile.

He deceive.

He play the fool.

He creates a magnificent impression that makes him appear larger than life.

He is a rake and dandy.

The moment he gets what he wants from you the hunting game change.

The table turns in his favour because the chase becomes the chaser.

Once this happen they have the upper hand and begin to call the shot.

They will manipulate and take undue advantage of such a lady that falls into their Trap.

So how can you avoid falling victim to a player?

Here are signs that will help you know if a guy have a genuine intentions for you or he is just one of those players who are after sex and nothing more.

 
1) He Avoids Anything Definitive: One of the tricks of players is to be vague in their approach to ladies and relationships.

A player try every possible means to avoid being committed to just one lady/relationship.

They make you get confused about what exactly you have with them. You will be sure it’s not mere friendship because sex is involved but you won’t be able to define it as a relationship.

They leave doubting what you mean to them and where you belong in their lives.

They will awake your love without planning to actually love you back. They will make you become emotionally attached and hopeful about them without being committed to you.

They give you false hope that things will soon get serious between the two of you.

Their actions towards you will make you to continue to give them a benefit of doubt.

They will keep enjoying the benefits (your cookies) while you are in doubt of what exactly you share, who you are to them and if things will ever get serious.

Avoid guys who want to eat your cookies without any form of commitment.

If you are looking for a serious relationship don’t waste your time with someone who avoids defining what exist between you and him but just want you to go with the flow.

Guys like this want the package without paying for it.

They want to enjoy the goodies in a relationship without actually being in it in commitment-wise.

Before giving your goodies to a guy make you have both defined what you both want and he will be committed to you and the relationship.

Don’t be that lady he gives attention and affection to whenever he is horny.

These days players don’t hit and run. They hit and hit and hit until you run away yourself.

Be smart. Don’t be a sex object to any guy.

Define what is it that exist between you and a guy and let be clear to both of you.

 

2. He entices with money and material stuff: Players believe every woman has a price.

Player believe with money you can get any woman to open her legs. They believe all it takes to get any woman is money and material stuff.

Truth be told, this is true for many ladies though.

So a player never fails to use this weakness to their advantage when it comes to chasing women.

A player try his possible best to create a larger than life impression.

And this usually work because most ladies enter into a relationship because of monetary and material gain.

A player makes plan on how much he needs to spend in order to impress and get a lady to bed.

He is usually not bother about the cash he has to part with in order to get a lady because he doesn’t plan staying long with her.

His plan is always simple: spend some money to impress her, get her to bed and change your attitude towards her.

Some players even take the game to another level by not changing their attitude but planning to get the money they spent on the lady back through emotional manipulation and black mail.

So be careful if you run into a guy who is overly focus on impressing you with money and material stuff.

Think twice before you fall head over heels for such a guy because he might just be a player using it as a bait to trap you into his game.

 
3. He does everything in excess: This is another signs to look out for. A player studies his target and determines which method is best to put to use in order to get what he want.

They can be extremely controlling or assertive so as to intimidate you and make you give in.

They can also be extremely patient with you if you are proving difficult or hard to get.

Heard of stories of guys been patient with a girl for months just to in between the legs and still hit the road after getting it.

They can be extremely sweet with words if they find that to be your soft spot. Such will be sweet to you whenever he wants to get you to bed and change afterwards.

They can be extremely blunt about sex just to make you feel it is the coolest thing to do with them.

Most of these extremely blunt guys can stand a lady saying no to them. As a result they might insult and humiliate you just because you don’t give in to their sexual advances.

 
4. He doesn’t make attempt to connect with you: One thing that is certain about we guys is we usually try to connect with a lady we have genuine feelings for and plan having in our lives for a long period of time.

We always make effort to find out stuff about a lady we love in order to understand and be able to relate with her well.

In other words, we make concerted effort to connect if we truly mean business.

A player is not really interested in getting to know you as a person but just interested in getting under your skirt.

If he doesn’t make attempt to connect with you before getting physical with you changes are high he will never try to.

Don’t make a mistake of giving him more sex will make him become interested in you.

There is no amount of sex that will change the mind of someone that is not interested in you except for sex.
Finally, I will advise you also follow your heart. Our mind and heart have an uncanny prowess to detect if someone has genuine intention for us or not but most times we ignore the guidance of our heart and mind and still give the wrong person a chance to hurt us.

We usually allow loneliness, peer pressure, financial benefits and physical attraction get the best of us and distract us from seeing people the way they are.

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Don’t Stay In An Abusive/Unhealthy Relationship: Relationship Is Not A Do Or Die Affair

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

Relationship should not be rush into just because you dread the feeling of being lonely.

Being single doesn’t mean your life is miserable.

So don’t enter into a relationship because you are lonely. You shouldn’t allow loneliness push you into unhealthy or toxic relationship.

Why would you stay in a relationship that bring continuous sorrow and pain to you, when there is someone out there who will cherish you and go the extra mile just to ensure you are happy.

Life is too short why would you decide to spend most of it in sadness and sorrow all in a name of relationship.

Our relationship determines to a great extent if we are going to enjoy our life on earth or not.

Though no relationship is perfect but a healthy relationship will not derail your life or career and bring you continuous sorrow, pain and sleepless night.

A person that truly loves you will always be careful not to hurt your feelings and make concerted effort to make you a happier and better person than you can be without him/her.

Relationship is not all about money.

Relationship is not all about catching feelings.

Relationship is not all about physical attraction.

You must learn to develop your emotional intelligence so as to prevent your emotions from controlling your life and causing you to make wrong choice when it comes to chosing a partner.

You must not allow your emotion to always determine the direction of your life and relationship.

Stop desiring or longing for someone who take you for granted just because he/she looks great or support you financially.

Stop longing for someone who you have to fight for his/her attention and affection just you find it difficult to stop thinking about him/her.

Stop falling in love with the same kind of people that keep using and dumping you.

Stop falling in love with people that make you feel inadequate and hard to love.

You need to displine and guide your heart.

Guide your heart with all dilligent for out of it flows the decision that will make or mar you in life and relationship.

Only give your heart to someone that will value and take good care of it.

Stop chasing people that you need to convince before they notice your worth and uniqueness.

Quit worrying about someone who does not have time for you.

You don’t need to beg for attention and affection from a person that loves and values you.

Learn to let go of any person or relationship that continuously cause you pain/hurt your feelings.

Any relationship that take away your happiness, peace of mind and sound night sleep is too expensive, let it go.

You must learn to know when to keep fighting for your relationship and when to give up on a dead relationship.

Love yourself enough to settle for someone that makes you happy and better.

You must also know that there is a difference between fighting for love and fighting for someone to love you.

Real and true love is never complicated, the moment things is getting complicated that is the best time to walk away.

Complicated relationship is nothing but time waster and joy killer.

Decide to always be with someone that cherish and appreciates you.

Decide to either be in a healthy relationship or be alone.

7 Mistakes You Must Avoid If You Want To Be A Wife Material- A Lady Worth Keeping Forever.

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Lots of ladies enter into relationship with the hope of getting the ring but oftentimes things don’t turn out as expected. This usually make ladies assess themselves to know if they are qualify to be tag a wife material or not.

One thing i want all ladies out there to know is that it is not the man that determines if you are worth keeping(a wife material) or playing, it’s you.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Relationship can be liken to a game. It has a rule and if you don’t know the rules you can’t win. You will be played like a fool. For you to win in any game you must understand the rules and code of the game.

Some ladies are being played by men simply because they don’t know the rules men play by. You can’t control how your opponent play but you have complete control over how you play.

A wise player wouldn’t worry too much about the other player, instead she will focus on mastering the game.

In a similar vein, as a lady you don’t have control over the intention of a guy towards you but you have total control over the impression you make on guys. You don’t determine if a guy will chose to be a player or keeper but you determine if you are worth being keep by a keeper.

In other words, you don’t have power to make a guy stay forever but you have power over portraying yourself as someone worth staying with forever.

So lets discuss the rules you must play by so that any man will see you as the type of lady to be kept (wife material).

We shall talk about what you need to control and master to avoid being played by players and prove you are worth being kept by a keeper.

The following are some mistakes ladies make which give them away cheaply and make them fall victim to players and make keepers think twice about keeping them.

 
1. Giving sex before establishing a serious relationship: You should know that no guy will put in the extra effort or go the extra mile to prove his love for you if what he is looking for is already given to him as freebies.

Never make a mistake of putting yourself in a situation where you are forced to ask “what are we?” after going down with each other. The question “what are we?” must first be settled before anything intimate.

 
2. Going with the flow: Never go with the flow if you don’t want to end up wasting your time. Am not saying you should force things. What am saying is be sure of what you have. Don’t guess, be sure.

Is it something serious with future prospect or just something for the moment.

Stop giving a guy a benefit of doubt when all he does is to make you doubt your position in his life while he is the only one enjoying the benefit. Don’t let any guy take undue advantage of you and also waste your precious time by putting you on a “long thing”.

 
3. Being moderate/modest: Don’t dress in a way that make guys conclude you are a hoe. Dress and conduct yourself exactly the way you will want people to perceive and address you.

 
4. Thinking all it takes to keep a man is good love making skills: That is very important though but you must raise your game above that.

Prove you are someone he can run to for sound advice. Don’t just bring your body to the relationship but also bring your mind. Make sure you are not bringing a dull mind though.

 
5. Expecting a man/relationship to be a jackpot to the good life: Relationship is not a source of income.

Men are not your gateway out of poverty except you want to turn yourself to a whore.

The best thing to do is to make you own money. Have plan for your life. Build a career for yourself. Be a lady that want a guy in her life not the one that need a man to survive.

 
6. Keeping more than one relationship at a time: A man that will be faithful and loyal to you for a lifetime will definitely want to be sure you are capable of same feat before taking you more serious and worthy of being kept forever.

Many guys will rather settle down for a lady that is not so beautiful but faithful and loyal over a very beautiful lady that find it difficult to be loyal and faithful for whatsoever reason. Be the faithful and loyal lady that any man will gladly want to make his wife without the fear of unfaithfulness and promiscusity.

 
7. Tolerating just any kind of thing: Guys want a lady that know her onions. Be a lady with dignity and self respect. Always hold your head up high. Carry yourself with confidence. Don’t allow any guy to disrespect you. Have rule and standard.

Set a limit or boundary for people concerning your private life and behaviours you will tolerate and reject. You should that what you tolerate teaches people how to treat you.
Learn the rules and avoid being played around like a novice.