Tag: Love

Don’t Stay In An Abusive/Unhealthy Relationship: Relationship Is Not A Do Or Die Affair

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

Relationship should not be rush into just because you dread the feeling of being lonely.

Being single doesn’t mean your life is miserable.

So don’t enter into a relationship because you are lonely. You shouldn’t allow loneliness push you into unhealthy or toxic relationship.

Why would you stay in a relationship that bring continuous sorrow and pain to you, when there is someone out there who will cherish you and go the extra mile just to ensure you are happy.

Life is too short why would you decide to spend most of it in sadness and sorrow all in a name of relationship.

Our relationship determines to a great extent if we are going to enjoy our life on earth or not.

Though no relationship is perfect but a healthy relationship will not derail your life or career and bring you continuous sorrow, pain and sleepless night.

A person that truly loves you will always be careful not to hurt your feelings and make concerted effort to make you a happier and better person than you can be without him/her.

Relationship is not all about money.

Relationship is not all about catching feelings.

Relationship is not all about physical attraction.

You must learn to develop your emotional intelligence so as to prevent your emotions from controlling your life and causing you to make wrong choice when it comes to chosing a partner.

You must not allow your emotion to always determine the direction of your life and relationship.

Stop desiring or longing for someone who take you for granted just because he/she looks great or support you financially.

Stop longing for someone who you have to fight for his/her attention and affection just you find it difficult to stop thinking about him/her.

Stop falling in love with the same kind of people that keep using and dumping you.

Stop falling in love with people that make you feel inadequate and hard to love.

You need to displine and guide your heart.

Guide your heart with all dilligent for out of it flows the decision that will make or mar you in life and relationship.

Only give your heart to someone that will value and take good care of it.

Stop chasing people that you need to convince before they notice your worth and uniqueness.

Quit worrying about someone who does not have time for you.

You don’t need to beg for attention and affection from a person that loves and values you.

Learn to let go of any person or relationship that continuously cause you pain/hurt your feelings.

Any relationship that take away your happiness, peace of mind and sound night sleep is too expensive, let it go.

You must learn to know when to keep fighting for your relationship and when to give up on a dead relationship.

Love yourself enough to settle for someone that makes you happy and better.

You must also know that there is a difference between fighting for love and fighting for someone to love you.

Real and true love is never complicated, the moment things is getting complicated that is the best time to walk away.

Complicated relationship is nothing but time waster and joy killer.

Decide to always be with someone that cherish and appreciates you.

Decide to either be in a healthy relationship or be alone.

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The Right Mindset Towards Misunderstanding In A Relationship

Misunderstanding is a normal occurence between partners due to differences in personality, temperament, upbringing, exposure and many other factors.

Misunderstanding come and go, and it should never affect your loyalty to your partner.

Having a misunderstanding with your partner is not a genuine excuse to start giving undue attention to other men or women.

If you value your relationship, whenever there is a misunderstanding your thinking should be focus on resolving the issue and at the same time availing it to understand your partner better.

Let your loyalty to your partner be rigid not flexible.

Be loyal to your partner till the relationship is over.

Loyalty brings untold respect and admiration. It is immaturity to flirt with the opposite sex in the presence of your partner.

Stop trying to make your partner feel jealous by flirting with the opposite sex especially when there is a misunderstanding between the two of you.

When you do that you are actually taking undue advantage of your partner’s emotion just because you know he/she loves you dearly.

If care is not taken that might destroy the relationship.

Whenever there is an issue in your relationship you must learn to face it heads on.

This is the only way to find a lasting solution to any problem that may arise in your relationship.

Doing otherwise is usually counter-productive.

Ignoring a problem don’t make it go away, it only make it get worse/bigger.

It is also immaturity to keep malice with your partner no matter the situation.

Don’t keep whatever is hurting you in your relationship to yourself. Speak out.

Don’t be bullied or threaten or blackmail to silence/submission in your relationship.

If you and your partner can’t learn to manage your issues and misunderstanding peacefully and live with each other happily in spite of them, then it is pointless to continue to remain in such a relationship.
When there is an issue in your relationship, find a way to resolve it amicably and continue loving each other.

If the problem is beyond remedy, it is better to go your separate way than to continue to remain together but embitter towards each other. This is because bitterness can make people do unreasonable things to the person they claimed to love.

Naturally love forgives and forgets wrongdoing.

However, if the offence is too much for your heart to forgive and mind to forget it is better to walk out of the relationship.

It is unlawful and immaturity to think of hurting or harming your partner irrespective of what they did wrong.

I have heard too many stories of man/woman murdering their partner.

The question i keep asking myself is “for what reason?”.

Why would you want to put yourself in a situation where you might end up spending the rest of your life in jail over something that is totally preventable.

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

If it is not making you happier and adding value to your life then it is not worth losing your sleep and peace of mind over.

If it is not working, it is okay to let it go.

Though it is advisable to give it your best shots before calling it quit.

It is important to know when to keep trying and when to walk away in a relationship.

Adopt the right mindset towards misunderstanding in a relationship.

Don’t ignore any issue bothering your mind.

If you don’t tackle it, it wouldn’t go away by itself. It will continue to hunt and hurt you until you face it and say enough is enough.

Learn to forgive your partner wholeheartedly.

Don’t keep record of your partner’s wrongdoing.

Don’t keep malice with your partner.

Don’t go to bed with anger and bitterness in your heart against your partner.

When you feel offended let your partner know by talking about it, don’t assume he/she should know.

Don’t give up on your relationship over little quarrel or misunderstanding.
Finally, if it is not working, you are free to walk out of it. Remember, it is a free world.

Never get violent against your partner.

You can never predict what a single violent act can result to in an agitated situation.

A single violent act can put you behind bars for the rest of your life.

It is always better to walk away.

Lets say NO to domestic violence in marriages.

Say NO to unhealthy or toxic relationship as a single.

Signs That Will Tell If He/She Is Your Soulmate: 10 Habits Of A Soulmate

A Soulmate is a person that loves you truly and have decided to stick with you through thick and thin.

Relationship is sweeter and animated when you find your soulmate.

Most people have found their soulmate but unknowingly let him/her go because they have unrealistic idea of a soulmate.

A soulmate is a human just like you.

Imperfect and mundane just like you.

But if you observe your relationship with them, you will notice that there is something unique about them.

They might not have answers to all your problems but they are willing to find the answers with you.

They complete and compliment you.

They love you the way you have never been love before.

They bring you comfort, peace of mind and happiness.

They encourage you to launch out and be your best possible.

They simply bring something new to your life.

So how will you know if he/she is your soulmate?

Here are signs that will help you know if he/she is your soulmate.

The 10 habits of a soulmate……

 

1. He/she makes you happy: Happiness is a personal decision. It must stem from within. Truth must be told, people in our lives also contribute largely to our happiness or sadness. Your partner have great influence on your mood.

Their actions/words can either make you happy or sad. A soulmate will make deliberate effort to ensure you are happy always and will never feel unconcern when you are sad.

 

2. He/she listens to you: Everyone is occupied by his/her own problem no matter how small it is.

Everyone is busy with their lives.

Most people don’t take time to listen to others to know exactly what they are passing through when something sensitive is been discuss with them.

A soulmate will never be too busy to listen to you.

He/she will eagerly put aside every other thing they are doing just to listen to you no matter what you have to say.

This is because he/she genuinely care about what you have to say and desire to know what you are going through.

A soulmate listen to understand not to jump to conclusion or judge you.

 

3. He/she challenges you: A soulmate knows your potential through constant interraction with you this make them to push and challenge to reach your full potential.

He/she finds joy in you achieving more and becoming your best possible.

He/she will never allow you to settle for mediocrity in whatever you set out to do.

A soulmate simply bring out the best in you.

 

4. He/she encourages you: Relationship is suppose to give us an assurance that no matter what happens even if the whole world go against us, there will always be one person to support and encourage us- our partner.

That is exactly what soulmate does.

A soulmate will always be your number one cheerleader.

 

5. He/she accept you: A soulmate will accept you for who you are without making you feel inadequate in anyway whatsoever.

A soulmate will love and accept you unconditionally, flaws and all.

 

6. He/she will never desert you: A soulmate is not someone that stays with you only when things are easy and rosy.

A soulmate will stay with you through thin and thick.

He/she will not desert you just because you are passing through a difficult times.

Instead of deserting you, a soulmate will stick around and help you overcome your challenges and difficulties.

 

7. He/she cherish you: To cherish is to love dearly. A soulmate will cherish you and appreciate your presence in his/her life.

What you cherish, you can’t take for granted. A soulmate will never take you for granted no matter how long you have been together.

He/she will instead cherish you more as the years goes by.

A soulmate will not get tired of you or lose respect for you just because you have been together for long. A soulmate will never stop loving you even when he/she is mad at you.

And he/she can not stay mad at you for long.

 

8. He/she finds it easy to appease you: A soulmate will value your happiness and peace of mind.

He/she understands that his/her actions can affects you directly or indirectly hence they are careful not to do things that will hurt your feelings.

Whenever he/she mistakenly hurt your feelings he/she will not find it difficult to say sorry to you.

He/she understand that apologizing when you are wrong is maturity and evidence that you value your partner’s feelings.

A soulmate doesn’t place his ego above his/her relationship or partner’s happiness.

A soulmate will gladly appease you when you angry or unhappy irrespective of who is at fault just to make sure you are happy.

 

9. He/she makes you feel comfortable: A soulmate will ensure you are comfortable around him/her so you don’t see the need to pretend.

A soulmate encourages you to express your true self. He/she will make you feel at ease when you around him/her.

A soulmate will not condemn or look down on you based on your personality type.

 

10. He/she correct and teach you: These days lots of people find joy in criticizing, mocking and judging people publicly when they make mistakes.

Very few people constructively correct and teach. Correction and teaching are acts of love.

A soulmate will correct/teach you so that you can improve in any area you are lagging behind.

A soulmate will not make an open mockery of you no matter your mistakes because he/she understands that shame to one is shame to both partners in a relationship.

Though a soulmate will not support you to indulge in a destructive habits.

A soulmate help you to desist from bad habits that can destroy your life.

He/she assist you to become a better woman or man.

A soulmate will not pressurize you to indulge in bad habits.
Everyone desire a relationship with a touch of paradise. A soulmate will give you that.

A soulmate will bring out the best in you. He/she will encourage and challenge you to be a better person. He/she will bring happiness to your life not sorrow and pain.

A soulmate is not a perfect person but someone committed to adding value to their partner’s life and making sure what they share last forever.

A soulmate is unforgetable, indispensable and irreplaceable.

Are you connected to your spouse on soul level ?

Are you your spouse soulmate?

If you can’t boldly answer yes. Here is your opportunity to improve your relationship.

Practise these 10 habits to be able to connect on a soul level with your partner and become a better partner to your spouse which will ultimately make your relationship a better one -paradise on earth.

Love Knows No Boundary

Love is beautiful, ethereal and divine.

It has no boundary.

Love is not dependent on race, colour, religion or ethnicity.

Where there is love age, distance, weight and height are just numbers.

Love supercedes religion and ethnicity.

Love don’t wait for permission before it happens.

We don’t find love, love finds us.

Never let go of love because of differences in religion, tribe, educational status, financial status, social class or race.

Let love always lead the way.

Love doesn’t harm.

It doesn’t manipulate or take undue advantage.

It is not selfish.

Love abides till death separate.

Love is never one sided.

Love don’t just take, it also give back.

Love is the essense of life.

Love make everyone of us come alive.

Love breeds trust.

Love gives hope, joy and untold happiness.

Love is life.

Life is meaningless and boring without love.

Love is our soft spot.

Love is never a weakness but strength.

Love is not for the feeble minded.

It takes courage to fall in love and give your heart away to a stranger without the certainty that it will not be broken into pieces.

Love accentuate our humanity.

Love bring out the best in us.

Love is tender, caring, understanding, accommodating and forgiving.

Love is medicinal to the heart that carries it.

Without love humanity is bound for self destruction.

Don’t ever hate love or doubt its existence.

Don’t ever give up on love.

If you are yet to find love, keep searching it will find you soon.

If you have found love, cherish it and never take it for granted or let go.

Love is beautiful and it will make your life bright and beautiful.

Don’t fall in love with the wrong person.

A person that will abuse, manipulate or mistreat you.

Watch out for the character of your potential partner because it matters in the long run.

Make sure you wait for the right person. A person that will cherish, value and celebrate you.

Hurting People Hurt People

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Love and human beings are inseparable. Love is just an abstract thing which totally depend on human to be felt or expressed.

Love is a beautiful thing but human can chose to be good or wicked.

Your experience of love is totally dependent on the persons you encountered in your quest to find love.

If you come in contact with a wholesome person you will have a wholesome love experience. On the other hand, if you come in contact with a hurting person, what will most definitely happen is they will hurt you too either intentionally or otherwise.

 

I observe that there is a lot of bitter, broken and hurting persons has a result of hurt and disappointment from past failed relationships resulting in a vicious cycle of unhealthy and abusive relationships in recent time.

If you are hurting or broken hearted rushing into another relationship is not the best choice for you.

Oftentimes hurting people rush into the arm of another romantic partner not out of love but loneliness.

If you are hurting or broken hearted healing process should be your number one priority not another love affair.

When you are hurting you wouldn’t be in the right frame of mind to give your best in a relationship.

You will be skeptical about love and everything about the new partner. You will have trust and commitment issues. You will be absent minded in the relationship. All of these and many more will directly or indirectly hurt your new partner.

It is important to ensure you seek healing for your hurting and broken heart before you consider sharing the heart with someone new.

Don’t let someone who have no idea about who hurt you suffer for the pain and hurt you experienced in your past relationship.

Love Doctor’s Advice 004

When you are angry with your lover that is the time to keep quiet or think twice about what you are uttering. Because anger make us want to say something hurtful. You must be careful not to say anything that you will regret later. Words uttered during a fight can do a damage that will be irreparable if you fail to control your tongue. Make it a rule that during a misunderstanding in your relationship that you will attack issues(the cause of the quarrel) not personality(your lover).

 
Do you desire to make your lover happy when he/she does something for you and want them to do more of it. The secret is to lavish them with appreciation no matter how little what they did for you. Most time we make mistake of complaining about something in what they did. Why didn’t you buy this colour? Why didn’t you buy that instead of this? Why didn’t you do it this way? This kind of response discourage people. Learn to give appreciation generously. It gives encouragement and gladdens your lover’s heart. And if you are not satisfied with what they did instead of complaining tactfully suggest what you would have prefer next time they want to do the same thing after you must have shown them genuine appreciation.

 
Every once in a while surprise your lover with a gift for no particular reason. Gift brings down resistance and gladdens the heart of the receiver. The key to a lady’s heart is a gift. Men also love gift. Gift works like magic on all of us. Especially when the gift is coming from the person we love and cherish. We feel loved, appreciated, special and elated when someone special(a lover) get us a gift.

 
Whenever there is a problem in your relationship: Before you start thinking of what your partner did wrong. First figure out what you did to contribute to the problem. When you approach fights and misunderstanding in your relationship in this manner, you wouldn’t stay mad at each other for long. And it will be easy to resolve issue because you won’t be blaming everything on your lover. You will be able to see your own fault and start with your own apology which will make it easy for your partner to accept their fault and apologise too.

 
A Relationship without trust is destined to fail sooner or later. After you have established a heart connection with your partner, the next important thing to is to build up trust between the two of you. I trust you is more powerful than I love you. A cliche says don’t lie to someone that trust you and never trust a person who lies to you. The key to earning someone’s trust is being honest and truthful with them. Make effort to earn the trust of your partner. Trust is the bedrock of a healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

I Can’t Do It Alone: Lets Do This Together

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I created this blog inorder to help people enjoy their relationship.

My goal is to continuously  write articles that will add value and help improve people’s relationship.

My joy is to get feedback from people whose relationship/love pursuit has been made lot easier through the post on this blog and  people already in a relationships who have been able to improve their relationships through my posts.

However, one is too small to achieve much.

A tree doesn’t make a forest.

I can’t do it alone.

I need your support through sharing my post on your social media pages.

Lets work together as a team.

Anytime you read a post that is helpful to you please click on the share button.

Please you should also tell your friends about the blog.

Lets work together to acheive a happy love life for each and everyone.

You can also talk to me if you need to talk to someone concerning any relationship issue bothering you.

You can follow me on twitter @Seyilovedoctor and Instagram @seyilovedoctor. You can mail me through Oluwaseyiadeoshun@gmail.com.

I advice you join my facebook group Seyi Love Doctor’s Blog and like my facebook page Oluwaseyi Adeoshun. Thank you.