Tag: Healthy relationship

It’s Better To Be Single And Lonely

Two are better than one because they can keep each other’s company, make each other happy, care for each other, encourage and support each other.

This is the essence of a relationship.

Relationship should add value to our lives not detract it.

Relationship should make our lives easier not complicated.

Relationship should help us to become happier and better than we can be on our own not the other way round.

Relationship should help us stay focus on what is important and achieve our dreams and ambitions not distract us and hold us back.

Life has its ups and downs already relationship should not add to it. Many stuff in life for instance work causes stress so relationship should not compound it.

Relationship is not a do or die affair. You don’t have to be in a relationship just because you are afraid or tired of being single and lonely.

Don’t stay in a relationship that makes your life miserable and deprived you of your peace of mind and sound night sleep.

It’s is better to be alone than to be in a relationship with a partner who is doing any of the following:

 
1) A partner that takes you and your efforts for granted.

 
2) A partner that lies to you about everything and anything, making you look like a fool in the presence of others.

 
3) A partner that makes you look like a fool for caring too much.

 
4) A partner who put you in doubt about where you actually belong in their life. Someone who is not committed to you.

 
5) A partner who takes undue advantage of you financially or in any way just because they know you love them so much and you are willing to do anything for them.

 
6) A partner who feels like he or she is doing you a favor by being with you.

 
7) A partner who doesn’t respect, support or appreciate you.

 
8) A partner that abuses you physically, emotionally, mentally or sexually.

 
9) A partner who sees and treats you as a competitor and feels threatened by your success and progress in life and career especially when you are getting ahead of them.

 
10) A partner who you have to beg for his/her attention and affection.

 
Relationship should be something you start because you have found the right person who is willing to put in the same effort you will put to ensure things work out.

Relationship should only start when you have find that one person that truly loves and cares about you just the same you do about them and also need you in his/her life to complete and compliment it like you also need them.

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Competition is not ideal in a healthy relationship. It breeds a hostile atmosphere. Relationship is about togetherness not battle of the sexes. Relationship is not about fighting for which gender is superior. Healthy relationship involves two partners supporting and understanding each other. The right mindset in a relationship should be to see the failure of one as the failure of all: And same for success. Partners should encourage each other to break boundaries not compete with each other for who will be more successful and richer. See your partner as your team mate not as your competitor. When you support each other, you will grow, succeed and stay together.

 

Be careful of who you tell everything that happens in your relationship and who you run to for relationship advice. Most people you see as friends are not really your friends. Oftentimes they get jealous and bitter when you tell them about the happenings in your relationship. Most times your friends wish they have the kind of relationship you have that you are still complaining one or two things about to them. Human are naturally jealous and envious when they see people who have what they lack. And very few people can keep their jealous/envy under control, most people usually allow it to control them. This fact can make your friends give you advice that will make you do stuff that will ruin your relationship or even snatch away your partner from you. So before you take advice from a friend, you should always ask yourself will it help improve your relationship or make things worse.

 

Faithfulness is becoming a rare trait these days. If you want a faithful partner you must first choose to be a faithful person yourself. Then you must be determined never to settle for a cheating/unfaithful partner. Work on yourself to get to the state of mind when you tell a cheating partner to be faithful or lose you irrespective of how much you love and want to be with that person. Grow and develop yourself in every aspect of your life. When you work on yourself to become someone of great value it will become difficult for you to tolerate shit in a relationship. Make yourself that partner that brings value to a relationship apart from money(man) and your body(woman). Make yourself that partner that someone is afraid to lose because it will be difficult to replace him/her. Be a faithful and value adding partner.

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Relationship is not a do or die affair. It is something to be enjoy not endure. Truth be told, relationship is not expected to be a bed of roses all of the time but it shouldn’t be a bed of thorns most/all of the time you are with your partner. The only relationship worthy of your time and effort is a healthy relationship. In a healthy relationship your efforts is appreciated and reciprocated. Don’t be in a relationship where you are the only one doing the loving, checking up and apologizing when things go wrong. Such relationship is not good for your mental and emotional well-being. You deserve a relationship where you are loved, cherish, appreciated, pampered and celebrated. So don’t settle for a relationship where you are treated badly or like you are a scumbag.

 
Do you know what you want in a relationship? Before starting a new relationship, the first and most important thing to do is to know exactly what you want in a relationship. Knowing what you want will prevent you from ending up with what you don’t want. After having a concrete knowledge of what you want in a relationship, you must be determined to fight the temptation to settle for less. People who settled for less usually regret it later and end up telling people that care to listen that they would have marry another person if not for one reason or another. It’s important to note that knowing what you want in a relationship has nothing to do with setting unrealistic standards. It involves knowing the qualities you want in a mate and how you want to be treated in a relationship.

 
You don’t need a perfect person in order to have a healthy and loving relationship. All you need is a person that is willing to put in effort needed to make you feel loved and happy. A person that wouldn’t take you for granted or become a source of pain and hurt to you after you have show how much you love him/her. A person that will value, respect, cherish and appreciate you. A person that will know your weakness, past mistakes, imperfection and flaws yet still finds you amazing and beautiful. A person that won’t get tired of you no matter how long you have been together. A person that will be faithful, committed and loyal to you. When you find such a person never take such for granted because relationship can only be healthy, loving and lasting if both partners are willing and committed to make it so.

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Relationship is not about finding someone that will provide solution to all your problems. Having such mentality will make you become a liability in your relationship. Rather focus on finding a partner that wouldn’t become another problem in your life. A/An cheating/aggressive/abusive/irresponsible partner will create more problems for you than the happiness they will bring you. Don’t ever settle for an abusive/unhealthy relationship with the hope that things will change for good soon while you keep putting up with the physical/emotional abuse, emotional pain and torture or domestic violence. Hope alone wouldn’t change an abusive partner/relationship for good. Many have gone to their early grave because of this foolish hope. Be wise, it is better to be alone than to endure an abusive relationship. Loneliness wouldn’t kill but abusive relationship has made many leave this world unceremoniously.

 
Everyone comes into a relationship with their baggages. A good relationship is the one where both partners help each other to unpack those baggages. Almost everyone has been hurt, cheated, betrayed, disappointed, lied to in their past relationships and all these have a way of shaping our beliefs about relationships and how we will behave towards our partner in the next relationship. Find someone that will help you unpack your baggages. Fine someone that will help you unlearn bad habit and drop negative belief you picked in your past relationships. Find someone that will assist you to become better person. Their are lots of healthy, loving, lasting and supportive relationships if you are yet to be in one keep searching don’t settle for less.

 
Trust is very important in a relationship. Most issues causing fight, misunderstanding, argument and quarrels can be trace back to trust issues. If you want a healthy, loving and lasting relationship ensure you build a solid foundation of trust between you and your partner. Try as much as possible to be honest, truthful and open about everything and anything that can hurt your partner’s feelings if they found out by themselves. Learn to prevent yourself from lying to someone you want to trust you because you will find it difficult yourself to trust someone who is fond of lying to you.

Don’t Rush Into Relationship Because Of Loneliness

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

Relationship should not be rush into just because you dread the feeling of being lonely.

Don’t stay in a relationship that bring continuous sorrow and pain to you.

Life is too short so enjoy it while it last.

Our relationship determines to a great extent if we are going to enjoy our life on earth or not.

Though no relationship is perfect but a healthy relationship will not derail your life or career and bring you continuous sorrow, pain and sleepless night.

A person that truly loves you will always be careful not to hurt your feelings and make concerted effort to make you a happier and better person than you can be without him/her.

Relationship is not all about money.

Relationship is not all about catching feelings.

You must learn to develop your emotional intelligence so as to prevent your emotions from controlling your life.

You must not allow your emotion to always determine the direction of your life and relationship.

Only give your heart to someone that will value and take good care of it.

Stop chasing people that you need to convince before they notice your worth and uniqueness.

Quit worrying about someone who does not have time for you.

You don’t need to beg for attention and affection from a person that loves and values you.

Learn to let go of any person or relationship that continuously cause you pain and hurt your feelings.

Love yourself enough to only settle for someone that makes you happy and better.

Decide to always be with someone that cherish and appreciates you.

Decide from today that you will either be in a healthy relationship or remain single.

#1090 Quote

What You Allow: Will Continue

There is no perfect relationship anywhere.

So don’t expect to have a perfect relationship but healthy and loving relationship is a realistic and attainable goal.

Every relationship has its own challenges but there are some issues that are not part of the challenges expected of a healthy relationship. Once they start showing up in your relationship then you should know that there is a fire on the mountain. Some of these issues include habitual cheating, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional manipulation, financial exploitation among others.

However, lot of people faces these issues and have gotten accustom to it to the extent of seeing it as a normal part of a relationship which is totally unhealthy.

Virtually, all relationship start on a sweet, loving and romantic note until one of the partners start showing their true colour -character.

If all relationships continues the way they begin, most relationships will never come to an end.
People usually start showing their true colour in relationships when they notice that their partner has become emotionally attached to them or after they have gotten what they want.

It is important to pay attention when your people start acting “who they truly are”. Don’t ever make a mistake of re-painting people when they show you their true colour by making excuses for them because of your emotional attachment to them.

It is better to end a relationship when your partner start showing his or her true colour before you get deeply involved in the quagmire over the time and you wind up in a complicated relationship.

Some people believe that what will be, will be but i don’t think it is wise to totally depend on such philosophy when it comes to relationship.

My belief is you meet your partner by fate and you fell in love by chance but your relationship will only work out by choice- the decisions you and your partner make with respect to your relationship. This is due to the fact that relationship requires effort if it will stand the test of time and be a healthy one.
However, it takes two to tangle. Only you cannot make your relationship healthy, loving and lasting. You and your partner must be actively involved in building your relationship to be healthy, loving and lasting.

In the course of building your relationship a lot of things will happen both the good and the bad. For the good stuff, you must encourage, appreciate and reciprocate if you want it to continue. For the bad stuff, you must address if you want it to stop.
Many people don’t want to be perceived as a nag hence they chose to keep quiet when they notice something is not right in their relationship.

The problem is ignoring a bad situation doesn’t make it disappear as many may have wanted.

It usually make situation worse.

The only way to arrest a bad situation is to address it immediately it rises.

Some people ignore problem because of the fear of what the outcome will be if they address it.

There are two possibilities when you decide to address an issue bothering you in your relationship as a result of your partner’s behaviour. The first is, the situation maybe remedy and your relationship will get better. The second is, the situation may get worse and the relationship will come to an end. Both outcome are very important. The first one indicate that your partner truly love and value you and the relationship while the second indicate otherwise.

Atimes you must be willing to let go before you can make some people want to change for good and stop taking you for granted.

Don’t be afraid of losing a partner that is causing you to continually lose your happiness and peace of mind.

Don’t allow your fear for loneliness make you remain in a relationship that continuously bring you sadness and sorrow.

Don’t allow an abusive relationship make you lose your sanity or send you to an early grave.
Whenever you notice something is not right in your relationship or you caught your partner doing what is not right, it is important to address the situation before it get out of hand.

Beyonce and Cardi B once caught their partner Jay Z and Offset respectively cheating. They address the issue instead of pretending it doesn’t happen. They both made it clear to their partner that they would not tolerate a cheating partner. Beyonce warning for Jay Z gave rise to her song “Lemonade”. Cardi B likewise sang ” Be Careful” to warn her unfaithful fiance, Offset of Migos.
The bottomline is this:

What you continue to keep quiet about and endure will continue to happen in your relationship.

If you are not happy with the situation in your relationship be courageous enough to speak to your partner about it, don’t die in silence.

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

If it is not working and making you happier than you can be on your own let your partner know what he or she is not doing right. Demand a change, if they refuse to change for better it is okay if you work out of the relationship.

Don’t allow any relationship make you feel you deserve to be treated as a second fiddle.

Don’t allow anyone make you feel you deserve to be physically, mentally, sexually or emotionally abuse.

Don’t lose your dignity and self-worth while trying to hold on to a relationship with someone who doesn’t even care about your feelings or happiness.

If you don’t want it to continue, demand a change or walk away. If you tolerate it, it will continue.

Feminism Is Not Hatred For Men: All Men Are Not Scum

Feminism is not hatred for all men based on your experience with few men. If you have been treated badly by some men, blaim it on your wrong choice of men not on the male gender as a whole.

All men can not be seen as a cheat.

All men are not the same.

Never generalize because all generalization is false.

If you think or believe all men are scum, it is because of your experience with few men who are scumbags.

Which means you actually made a mistake of choosing those few scumbag instead of the good men around you for reasons known or unknown to you.
Hating all men will not change anything or do you any good.

Hatred eat up the heart that holds it.

Hatred for men because of your past experience with some men who are scum will only make your life fill with bitterness, it would never improve your life or make it better.

Instead of hating all men because you were not treated well by the ones you have been with, it’s better you take time to evaluate the qualities you are attracted to in men or the kind of men who you have always been having in your life.

Obviously, if you have been attracting the wrong kind of men, changing your choice of men will be the best thing to do instead of hating all men including those who don’t even know you exist.

Take your time to ascertain the qualities of a man before you give him your heart and be head over heel for him.

You should know that there are good men and there are bad men, just like there are good and bad women.

You just need to find the good ones.

If you discovered you are always moving from one unhealthy or abusive relationship to another, do not because of that assumed that all men are scum.

However, It is okay if you concluded that all the men you have been with are nothing but scum based on how you were treated by them.

The solution to your relationship problem is not calling all men scum but changing the kind of men you roll with.

Don’t focus on the problem rather direct your energy on the solution.

Feminism is not hatred for men but a strong belief in equal right and opportunity for all irrespective of the gender.

It means any girl/woman can achieve what any boy/man can achieve or even more.

It means as woman you don’t have to sleep with men before you can takecare of yourself.

It means a woman should not be reduced to just a sex object or baby making machine.

It means as a woman you should not allow any man to manipulate, abuse, maltreat or violate your basic human right all in the name of a relationship or marriage.

It means you can be financially independent. Your gender does not put a limitation on your potential or dreams.

Feminism does not means you should drink, smoke and party hard like guys do.

It means you should give any guy a run for his money.

It means you should strive to be better financially, intellectually, academically, social-relevance wise and in every area just like a man or even better.

Feminism is a movement for freedom for all women all over the world.

However, freedom is not the right to do what you like but what is right.

Set yourself free from any abusive or unhealthy relationship.

Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated, abused, used and dump by men.

Know your worth as a woman. Set standards for yourself.

Be a woman with dignity.

Let it be clear you will not be disrespected in a relationship.

Settle only for men who respect, appreciate, love and treats you well.

Decide to only be with a man that will challenge you to be a better person and support your dream and career.

Don’t settle for just any type of relationship.

If it is not making you happier and better than you can be on your own then it is not worth your precious time and effort.

Don’t hate all men for what few bad men did to you.

Rather focus on finding and spending time with men with good qualities.