One of the most frequently asked questions from ladies in Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa and India whenever I am sought after for relationship advice is “how can I know if he is real? “.
In other words, they are asking how can they differentiate between a guy that that truly loves them from those guys that just want to hit the jackpot few things and then hit the road.
Lot of single ladies are concerned about knowing how to separate a guy with genuine interest from the guy that is just after sex.
Guys who after getting sex move to the next available woman. Guys like that are often referred to as players because they play with ladies emotions in order to get what they want.
This article is written in order to help you spot guys whose intentions is to play around love just to get you to bed and then move to the next lady.
My purpose of writing is to help you as a lady avoid unnecessary heartbreaks, heartaches and disappointment.
Who is a player?
A player is someone who plays around love in order to get sex.
He pretends to have genuine interest in a lady until he gets what he is really after then shows his true colours.
A player is just after the moment, he doesn’t foresee a future with you.
A player is like a hunter, he keeps his gaze upon his target.
He does everything practically possible to get his target.
He chase unrelentingly until he gets what he wants.
He goes the extra mile.
He play the fool.
He creates a magnificent impression that makes him appear larger than life.
He is a rake and dandy.
The moment he gets what he wants from you the hunting game change.
The table turns in his favour because the chase becomes the chaser.
Once this happen they have the upper hand and begin to call the shot.
They will manipulate and take undue advantage of such a lady that falls into their Trap.
So how can you avoid falling victim to a player?
Here are signs that will help you know if a guy have a genuine intentions for you or he is just one of those players who are after sex and nothing more.
1) He Avoids Anything Definitive: One of the tricks of players is to be vague in their approach to ladies and relationships.
A player try every possible means to avoid being committed to just one lady/relationship.
They make you get confused about what exactly you have with them. You will be sure it’s not mere friendship because sex is involved but you won’t be able to define it as a relationship.
They leave doubting what you mean to them and where you belong in their lives.
They will awake your love without planning to actually love you back. They will make you become emotionally attached and hopeful about them without being committed to you.
They give you false hope that things will soon get serious between the two of you.
Their actions towards you will make you to continue to give them a benefit of doubt.
They will keep enjoying the benefits (your cookies) while you are in doubt of what exactly you share, who you are to them and if things will ever get serious.
Avoid guys who want to eat your cookies without any form of commitment.
If you are looking for a serious relationship don’t waste your time with someone who avoids defining what exist between you and him but just want you to go with the flow.
Guys like this want the package without paying for it.
They want to enjoy the goodies in a relationship without actually being in it in commitment-wise.
Before giving your goodies to a guy make you have both defined what you both want and he will be committed to you and the relationship.
Don’t be that lady he gives attention and affection to whenever he is horny.
These days players don’t hit and run. They hit and hit and hit until you run away yourself.
Be smart. Don’t be a sex object to any guy.
Define what is it that exist between you and a guy and let be clear to both of you.
2. He entices with money and material stuff: Players believe every woman has a price.
Player believe with money you can get any woman to open her legs. They believe all it takes to get any woman is money and material stuff.
Truth be told, this is true for many ladies though.
So a player never fails to use this weakness to their advantage when it comes to chasing women.
A player try his possible best to create a larger than life impression.
And this usually work because most ladies enter into a relationship because of monetary and material gain.
A player makes plan on how much he needs to spend in order to impress and get a lady to bed.
He is usually not bother about the cash he has to part with in order to get a lady because he doesn’t plan staying long with her.
His plan is always simple: spend some money to impress her, get her to bed and change your attitude towards her.
Some players even take the game to another level by not changing their attitude but planning to get the money they spent on the lady back through emotional manipulation and black mail.
So be careful if you run into a guy who is overly focus on impressing you with money and material stuff.
Think twice before you fall head over heels for such a guy because he might just be a player using it as a bait to trap you into his game.
3. He does everything in excess: This is another signs to look out for. A player studies his target and determines which method is best to put to use in order to get what he want.
They can be extremely controlling or assertive so as to intimidate you and make you give in.
They can also be extremely patient with you if you are proving difficult or hard to get.
Heard of stories of guys been patient with a girl for months just to in between the legs and still hit the road after getting it.
They can be extremely sweet with words if they find that to be your soft spot. Such will be sweet to you whenever he wants to get you to bed and change afterwards.
They can be extremely blunt about sex just to make you feel it is the coolest thing to do with them.
Most of these extremely blunt guys can stand a lady saying no to them. As a result they might insult and humiliate you just because you don’t give in to their sexual advances.
4. He doesn’t make attempt to connect with you: One thing that is certain about we guys is we usually try to connect with a lady we have genuine feelings for and plan having in our lives for a long period of time.
We always make effort to find out stuff about a lady we love in order to understand and be able to relate with her well.
In other words, we make concerted effort to connect if we truly mean business.
A player is not really interested in getting to know you as a person but just interested in getting under your skirt.
If he doesn’t make attempt to connect with you before getting physical with you changes are high he will never try to.
Don’t make a mistake of giving him more sex will make him become interested in you.
There is no amount of sex that will change the mind of someone that is not interested in you except for sex.
Finally, I will advise you also follow your heart. Our mind and heart have an uncanny prowess to detect if someone has genuine intention for us or not but most times we ignore the guidance of our heart and mind and still give the wrong person a chance to hurt us.
We usually allow loneliness, peer pressure, financial benefits and physical attraction get the best of us and distract us from seeing people the way they are.