Tag: Deceit

4 Signs That Will Let You Know If He Is A Player

One of the most frequently asked questions from ladies in Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa and India whenever I am sought after for relationship advice is “how can I know if he is real? “.

In other words, they are asking how can they differentiate between a guy that that truly loves them from those guys that just want to hit the jackpot few things and then hit the road.

Lot of single ladies are concerned about knowing how to separate a guy with genuine interest from the guy that is just after sex.

Guys who after getting sex move to the next available woman. Guys like that are often referred to as players because they play with ladies emotions in order to get what they want.

This article is written in order to help you spot guys whose intentions is to play around love just to get you to bed and then move to the next lady.

My purpose of writing is to help you as a lady avoid unnecessary heartbreaks, heartaches and disappointment.

Who is a player?

A player is someone who plays around love in order to get sex.

He pretends to have genuine interest in a lady until he gets what he is really after then shows his true colours.

A player is just after the moment, he doesn’t foresee a future with you.

A player is like a hunter, he keeps his gaze upon his target.

He does everything practically possible to get his target.

He chase unrelentingly until he gets what he wants.

He goes the extra mile.

He deceive.

He play the fool.

He creates a magnificent impression that makes him appear larger than life.

He is a rake and dandy.

The moment he gets what he wants from you the hunting game change.

The table turns in his favour because the chase becomes the chaser.

Once this happen they have the upper hand and begin to call the shot.

They will manipulate and take undue advantage of such a lady that falls into their Trap.

So how can you avoid falling victim to a player?

Here are signs that will help you know if a guy have a genuine intentions for you or he is just one of those players who are after sex and nothing more.

 
1) He Avoids Anything Definitive: One of the tricks of players is to be vague in their approach to ladies and relationships.

A player try every possible means to avoid being committed to just one lady/relationship.

They make you get confused about what exactly you have with them. You will be sure it’s not mere friendship because sex is involved but you won’t be able to define it as a relationship.

They leave doubting what you mean to them and where you belong in their lives.

They will awake your love without planning to actually love you back. They will make you become emotionally attached and hopeful about them without being committed to you.

They give you false hope that things will soon get serious between the two of you.

Their actions towards you will make you to continue to give them a benefit of doubt.

They will keep enjoying the benefits (your cookies) while you are in doubt of what exactly you share, who you are to them and if things will ever get serious.

Avoid guys who want to eat your cookies without any form of commitment.

If you are looking for a serious relationship don’t waste your time with someone who avoids defining what exist between you and him but just want you to go with the flow.

Guys like this want the package without paying for it.

They want to enjoy the goodies in a relationship without actually being in it in commitment-wise.

Before giving your goodies to a guy make you have both defined what you both want and he will be committed to you and the relationship.

Don’t be that lady he gives attention and affection to whenever he is horny.

These days players don’t hit and run. They hit and hit and hit until you run away yourself.

Be smart. Don’t be a sex object to any guy.

Define what is it that exist between you and a guy and let be clear to both of you.

 

2. He entices with money and material stuff: Players believe every woman has a price.

Player believe with money you can get any woman to open her legs. They believe all it takes to get any woman is money and material stuff.

Truth be told, this is true for many ladies though.

So a player never fails to use this weakness to their advantage when it comes to chasing women.

A player try his possible best to create a larger than life impression.

And this usually work because most ladies enter into a relationship because of monetary and material gain.

A player makes plan on how much he needs to spend in order to impress and get a lady to bed.

He is usually not bother about the cash he has to part with in order to get a lady because he doesn’t plan staying long with her.

His plan is always simple: spend some money to impress her, get her to bed and change your attitude towards her.

Some players even take the game to another level by not changing their attitude but planning to get the money they spent on the lady back through emotional manipulation and black mail.

So be careful if you run into a guy who is overly focus on impressing you with money and material stuff.

Think twice before you fall head over heels for such a guy because he might just be a player using it as a bait to trap you into his game.

 
3. He does everything in excess: This is another signs to look out for. A player studies his target and determines which method is best to put to use in order to get what he want.

They can be extremely controlling or assertive so as to intimidate you and make you give in.

They can also be extremely patient with you if you are proving difficult or hard to get.

Heard of stories of guys been patient with a girl for months just to in between the legs and still hit the road after getting it.

They can be extremely sweet with words if they find that to be your soft spot. Such will be sweet to you whenever he wants to get you to bed and change afterwards.

They can be extremely blunt about sex just to make you feel it is the coolest thing to do with them.

Most of these extremely blunt guys can stand a lady saying no to them. As a result they might insult and humiliate you just because you don’t give in to their sexual advances.

 
4. He doesn’t make attempt to connect with you: One thing that is certain about we guys is we usually try to connect with a lady we have genuine feelings for and plan having in our lives for a long period of time.

We always make effort to find out stuff about a lady we love in order to understand and be able to relate with her well.

In other words, we make concerted effort to connect if we truly mean business.

A player is not really interested in getting to know you as a person but just interested in getting under your skirt.

If he doesn’t make attempt to connect with you before getting physical with you changes are high he will never try to.

Don’t make a mistake of giving him more sex will make him become interested in you.

There is no amount of sex that will change the mind of someone that is not interested in you except for sex.
Finally, I will advise you also follow your heart. Our mind and heart have an uncanny prowess to detect if someone has genuine intention for us or not but most times we ignore the guidance of our heart and mind and still give the wrong person a chance to hurt us.

We usually allow loneliness, peer pressure, financial benefits and physical attraction get the best of us and distract us from seeing people the way they are.

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2 Important Questions Most Ladies Usually Ask At The Wrong Time

Questions are so important in life because they help us find out answers to stuff that troubles our mind.

Asking questions from others help us to decipher their intentions toward us especially in a romantic relationship.

It is always important to ask questions and get clarifying answers instead of assuming things.

Most people usually assume their position in other people’s lives when it comes to relationship.

Have had stories of ladies and guys who assumed their position in other people’s lives only to find out later that the other person never see them as they have thought they mean to them.

If he didn’t ask you out, don’t assume you have a relationship just because he calls you often and cares about you or uses sweet words for you.

If she didn’t say yes, you don’t have a relationship.

Don’t assume you do because she visits or check up on you. What is not clearly defined usually results to waste of time and effort.

Assumption in relationships usually results to complication.

It pays to ask questions in order to clearly know your stand in a relationship.

Don’t think he wants you, let him spell it out by asking you out and making it official or you do the asking out yourself. Don’t think she wants you, let her spell it out by saying yes to your advances in words and actions.

Asking questions about where you stand in a relationship and where the relationship is heading to is one sure way to avoid heartbreak and waste of your precious time and effort.

So never go with the flow or string along just because you are tired of being single or carried away by the sweetness of person towards you.

Ask questions to be sure you are on the same page except you are not after something serious. Be sure he/she feels the same way about you.

Don’t waste your precious time in an imaginary happily ever after that doesn’t have a beginning.

This article is actually written to address two important questions most ladies usually ask at the wrong time from guys they love and want to have something with for a long period of time.

The wrong timing will not let you get the right answer(truth) and will make you vulnerable to guys that just want to use and dump you.

 
1. What are we: This is a very important question which most ladies ask at the wrong time.

The answer to this question will determine the foundation and direction of your relationship with a guy.

This question must have a concrete answer before you decide to get deeply involved with any guy.

Your relationship should be clearly defined.

It should never be assumed. Never assume you have a relationship with a guy just because he checks on you often or he is always sweet towards you.

Don’t be deceived by constant calls, freebies and sweetness. Guys will do whatever they need to do in order to go down with a lady without having anything clearly defined with her.

That’s why we have Friends with benefits.

Don’t be a victim except that is what you are looking for.

The right time to ask this question is before getting emotional attached and intimate with a guy.

Never make a mistake of going down with a guy before knowing your place in his life.

Asking a guy what are we after sex will make you appear as a joke and slut/cheap girl.

A guy that wants to take you serious might even have a second thought because he might assume that’s how you do with lots of guys even if you don’t.

 
2. Will you marry me: This is another important question ladies often ask at a wrong time. Most ladies ask this question before giving their body to a guy.

This question is often asked to know if the new guy wouldn’t run away after getting what he wants like the other guys have done in time pass.

Ladies I want you to think like a guy for a second.

If you are a guy and all you are after is sex and nothing more.

After trying everything to get her to bed but failed then you discovered that all it takes to eat the honey pot is to make a marriage promise.

Wouldn’t you make it and achieve your set goals.

Am sure if you haven’t fall victim to this, you must have heard about ladies that have been deceived by men with marriage promises just to get what they want.

If you want to know if a guy will marry you or not pay rapt attention to his words(both spoken and unspoken) and actions towards you on a regular basis.

When man has truly decide want to spend the rest of his life with you, you will know by the way he relates, cares and corrects you.

He will let you know about his dreams, aspiration and future plans. And you will definitely feature in those plans.

If a man truly loves you and foresee a future with you, he is going to factor you in into everything he does and it will be obvious to you and everyone around.

I hear ladies say you can’t know if a man truly loves you but I beg to differ.

Most ladies see the warning signs but as human beings we get easily carried away by emotion and chose to close our eyes to glaring back off signs.

In other words, we see what we want to see and ignore the reality.

If you pay rapt attention to your man actions and words towards you, you can easily tell his intentions towards you no matter how much of a liar and pretender he is.

The bottomline is this :

Define your relationship with a man before getting too intimate with him and be sure of what you want in a relationship before deciding to enter into one.

Finally, before you decide to invest your heart, body, soul and spirit into a relationship be sure it is something with a future so you don’t have reason to regret later in life about wasted time and effort or become a hater of all men because of what few men did to you.

 

For advice on any relationship issue, you can reach me through oluwaseyiadeoshun@gmail.com or DM me on twitter and instagram @seyilovedoctor