Few hundred years ago, there was a gardener who lives in a village named Ilaro in Ogun State, Nigeria. He loves the sight of butterflies in the garden of people around him. He admire the beauty and colourfulness butterflies bring to a garden.
So he started cultivating one for himself but to his uttermost surprise he find it difficult to attract a butterfly into his garden.
This gardener was so worried that he didn’t have butterflies in his garden.
He tried to attract butterflies using different methods but all his efforts was futile.
So he finally decided to seek the advice of a wise man. When he got to the wiseman abode he narrated his ordeal as touching his garden. After listening to what the gardener had to say.
The wise man said “don’t chase the butterfly, mend your garden, let the butterfly come. Chasing the butterfly into your garden will cost lots of time and energy. And if the garden lacks what will attract and keep the butterfly in the garden your efforts will not yield a desirable result”.
This, I think, is a great analogy for the right approach to finding Mr/Mrs right for ourselves.
In the light of the analogy, chasing or searching for Mr/ Mrs right when you are not working on yourself to be a Mr/ Mrs right will cost you lot of effort, time and heartbreaks.
This is because we tend to attract people like us in some sort of ways.
This is based on law of attraction.
Instead of focusing too much of your time and energy on the search for Mr/ Mrs right, I believe it is sensible to groom yourself into Mr/ Mrs right that someone somewhere is diligently searching for.
It is important to note that Mr/ Mrs right are also seeking for their own Mr/Mrs right.
Hence, it will be logical to conclude that working on yourself to develop qualities that are admirable and expected of a Mr/ Mrs right will drastically increase your chances of meeting your Mr/ Mrs right sooner than you expected.
We must mend our garden in order to attract the butterfly that will beautify our garden effortlessly. I mean we must work on ourselves so as to be able to attract the right person to our lives.
The person that will help make it more beautiful and better.
So what can you do to increase your chances of meeting the love of your life sooner.
I have taken my time to identify 12 qualities that will help you become more attractive and riveting which will in turn increases your chances of meeting and keeping the special person for life.
I assured you that working on these qualities will be of immerse help to your quest to find the right partner for a lifetime. Let’s begin the journey together :
1. Self Confidence: To be successful in every area of life you need self confidence. Self confidence allows you to give full expression to your uniqueness and personality.
Ladies are attracted to men who have confidence in themselves. Self confidence is attractive.
2. Dress well: It is not a new thing that you will be addressed exactly the way you are dressed. If you dress attractively, people will find you attractive.
Never should you neglect your appearance because it is very important and it determines how people see you. Always dress in a way that you will leave a great impression on the people’s minds about you.
Be moderate though. Be neat, smart and well cultured in the way you dress.
3. Generousity: Everyone loves the cheerful giver. Stinginess is a big turn off. To be generous you don’t have to blow up your budget.
Ladies love generous guys. Generosity makes you appear larger than life.
4. Be Yourself. You are unique and special just the way you are. Everyone has got his/ her own uniqueness, style, personality and strength. Fine yours and give full expression to it.
Don’t try to act like someone else in order to get somebody’s attention. You don’t need it. The best thing is to find someone that will love, accept and appreciate you just the way you are. Be your original self.
5. Get A Life: Make sure you have something going on for yourself. Build a great life that others will find attractive and genuinely want to be a part of.
Find a passion or purpose for your life. Something that will make you grow and learn. Something that will challenge you to keep improving yourself and getting better on a regular basis.
Find something that will make you full of life and enthusiasm. This is a very attractive quality. People will be curious and attracted to you.
6. Maturity: Everyone includes maturity as one of the qualities that is admirable in a partner. You must learn to conduct yourself in a mature manner.
Dress, communicate and relate with others in a mature way.
7. Invest In Yourself: Your greatest asset is your mind. Invest in it through education. Feed your mind with positive stuffs. Your mind influence your thinking and your thinking influence your life.
Develop your mind to be able to hold an intelligent conversation not just gist and gossip.
Try to acquire skills that will add value to your life and get you income. Make yourself an asset not a liability.
8. Treat People Well: Learn to be respectful. Don’t be rude to people. Treat people well no matter who they are.
How you treat people speak volume of who you are. And who you are determines what people tell others about you and the people who you are attracted to. Be good to people so as to attract good people into your life.
9. Don’t Be Shy: You must learn to get out of your shell and meet people.
Be a conversationalist.
Learn how to communicate and interract with people especially strangers. You never can say who will be the special person.
Breaking up your shell and meeting people out there will definitely increase your chances of meeting the love of your life sooner than later. Don’t be shy. You are not born shy.
10. Be Assertive: Always assert yourself. Don’t be intimidated by anyone. Let people know your stand.
Let it be known to people what you will not accept or tolerate. This quality is very attractive both in men and women.
It makes you look strong, bold, confident and on top of your game. It makes it clear that you respect yourself. It will make you attract people that will also respect you and treat you exactly how you wanted.
11. Be Genuinely Interested In Others: Be interested in really wanting to know more about people.
One secret of getting people to be interested in you, is to show them you are interested in them.
Get out of your small self and meet people, you never can tell who will find you amazing and fascinating.
When you show genuine interest in people they will perceive you as an interesting person which is a good thing.
If you are not in a relationship yet go out and meet people but don’t be in a rush to find a romantic partner.
12. Don’t Rush: This is applicable to the ladies. Don’t rush the connection process when you met a new guy.
Trying to rush things will produce a negative result.
Rushing things will make you appear desperate for love and relationship.
Desperation makes you a perfect victim for exploitation and manipulation by some guys.
Take your time but be assertive. Know exactly what you want from the relationship.
If you can’t get what you want there is no need to waste your precious time in the relationship.
The secret of success in any endeavors is to identify the factors necessary for success. After identifying the factors you must successfully separate the ones you have control over and those you can’t control.
What will determine whether you will succeed or not, is your ability to master the factors you have control over.
My point is this, you don’t have control over the butterfly but you do have control over your garden.
You don’t have control over who will be the Mr/Mrs right or the time you will met each other.
However, you have control over making yourself someone’s Mr/ Mrs right. Take control of that.
I hope you find this very helpful and quite informative.
I will love to get feedback from you on this article.
You can follow me on twitter @Seyilovedoctor and Instagram @seyilovedoctor. Thank you.