Tag: Conflicts

Relationship Nuggets 008

A mature person understand fully well that physical attraction is not a strong foundation upon which the bricks of a serious relationship can be laid hence it shouldn’t be the main reason to start a relationship. If you desire a loving, healthy and long term relationship you must discipline yourself to look beyond the obvious. Focus more on more important and lasting qualities like character, behaviour, mindset, ambition, goals among others rather than transient thing like physical features- attractive face, sexy body and so on. Physical attraction is definitely important but it will not determine how he/she will treat you in the relationship but their character will.

 
Every conflict in a relationship present an opportunity to reveal the true identity/nature of your partner. Anger atimes gives people the boldness to say what they have been hiding in the deepest part of their soul.

 
Never should you lose your voice in a relationship. A relationship where you can’t give voice to your emotions, fear, concerns and discomfort is not healthy. A relationship should be where you express yourself without the fear of being judged. Encourage your partner to express himself/herself and do the same. It is therapeutic.

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The Right Mindset Towards Misunderstanding In A Relationship

Misunderstanding is a normal occurence between partners due to differences in personality, temperament, upbringing, exposure and many other factors.

Misunderstanding come and go, and it should never affect your loyalty to your partner.

Having a misunderstanding with your partner is not a genuine excuse to start giving undue attention to other men or women.

If you value your relationship, whenever there is a misunderstanding your thinking should be focus on resolving the issue and at the same time availing it to understand your partner better.

Let your loyalty to your partner be rigid not flexible.

Be loyal to your partner till the relationship is over.

Loyalty brings untold respect and admiration. It is immaturity to flirt with the opposite sex in the presence of your partner.

Stop trying to make your partner feel jealous by flirting with the opposite sex especially when there is a misunderstanding between the two of you.

When you do that you are actually taking undue advantage of your partner’s emotion just because you know he/she loves you dearly.

If care is not taken that might destroy the relationship.

Whenever there is an issue in your relationship you must learn to face it heads on.

This is the only way to find a lasting solution to any problem that may arise in your relationship.

Doing otherwise is usually counter-productive.

Ignoring a problem don’t make it go away, it only make it get worse/bigger.

It is also immaturity to keep malice with your partner no matter the situation.

Don’t keep whatever is hurting you in your relationship to yourself. Speak out.

Don’t be bullied or threaten or blackmail to silence/submission in your relationship.

If you and your partner can’t learn to manage your issues and misunderstanding peacefully and live with each other happily in spite of them, then it is pointless to continue to remain in such a relationship.
When there is an issue in your relationship, find a way to resolve it amicably and continue loving each other.

If the problem is beyond remedy, it is better to go your separate way than to continue to remain together but embitter towards each other. This is because bitterness can make people do unreasonable things to the person they claimed to love.

Naturally love forgives and forgets wrongdoing.

However, if the offence is too much for your heart to forgive and mind to forget it is better to walk out of the relationship.

It is unlawful and immaturity to think of hurting or harming your partner irrespective of what they did wrong.

I have heard too many stories of man/woman murdering their partner.

The question i keep asking myself is “for what reason?”.

Why would you want to put yourself in a situation where you might end up spending the rest of your life in jail over something that is totally preventable.

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

If it is not making you happier and adding value to your life then it is not worth losing your sleep and peace of mind over.

If it is not working, it is okay to let it go.

Though it is advisable to give it your best shots before calling it quit.

It is important to know when to keep trying and when to walk away in a relationship.

Adopt the right mindset towards misunderstanding in a relationship.

Don’t ignore any issue bothering your mind.

If you don’t tackle it, it wouldn’t go away by itself. It will continue to hunt and hurt you until you face it and say enough is enough.

Learn to forgive your partner wholeheartedly.

Don’t keep record of your partner’s wrongdoing.

Don’t keep malice with your partner.

Don’t go to bed with anger and bitterness in your heart against your partner.

When you feel offended let your partner know by talking about it, don’t assume he/she should know.

Don’t give up on your relationship over little quarrel or misunderstanding.
Finally, if it is not working, you are free to walk out of it. Remember, it is a free world.

Never get violent against your partner.

You can never predict what a single violent act can result to in an agitated situation.

A single violent act can put you behind bars for the rest of your life.

It is always better to walk away.

Lets say NO to domestic violence in marriages.

Say NO to unhealthy or toxic relationship as a single.

The Boundless Power Of Sorry

Sorry is just a five letters word but its power knows no bound.

It’s so disappointing that some people find it difficult to say sorry to someone they claim to love when they are in the wrong.

This is often due to the fact that they esteem their ego way above their relationship.

Placing your ego ahead of your relationship is the fastest way to surely destroy your relationship with your partner over an issue that just saying sorry can remedy.
A more disappointing situation is when people say am sorry just for the sake of saying it. Saying Am sorry doesn’t actually undo whatever harm or hurt that has been done.

It is just a way of expressing our deepest regret for doing way caused pain to our partner.

Also a promise that we won’t repeat such thing again.

It’s disheartening to know that inability to say sorry has led to the dissolution of many relationships with a promising future.
As stated earlier, the main reason some people find it difficult to say am sorry to their lover in order to restore peace to the relationship after a conflict or misunderstanding is pride or ego.

When you put your ego ahead of your relationship it is a sign of immaturity.

Matured person will find it easy to apologize when they are at fault.

At times you need to say sorry when you are not at fault just to calm the storm in your relationship.

That takes maturity. The secret of a healthy, loving and lasting relationship is learning to always put the good of the relationship ahead of your ego and personal interest.

This is the hallmark of maturity. We must endeavor to keep our ego under control in course of interacting with our partner.
Moreso, it doesn’t make sense to repeat what you once apologized for.

Repeating what you had already apologized for in time past to your partner is an unwise behavior.

That is an act of abusing the boundless power of the five letters word- Sorry.

If we continue to repeat the same behavior or thing we had already apologized for several times sooner or later the word will lose its meaning to our partner.
Finally, to build a successful relationship we must understand the importance of saying sorry when we are at fault.

We must also know that it is totally unwise and unacceptable to keep doing the same thing we once apologized for.

A beautiful relationship is the one that a sorry is all it takes to bring back the situation to normalcy after a conflict or misunderstanding.

I hope you find this helpful in your quest to experience a better, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

Love Doctor’s Advice 007

Falling in love and starting a relationship is quite easy. The real work is putting in the effort, faithfulness, sacrifice and time to rekindle the fire of romance from time to time and cultivating the mature, trusting love that is the hallmark of a healthy and lasting relationship.

 
Being decisive about a relationship from the beginning is very important. It helps save your time and it have a lasting effect on the quality of the romance in the relationship. Be clear of what you want before entering into a new relationship and make sure you made it clear to your new partner.

 
Understanding what makes your partner feel loved is the key to understanding him/ her. It will also help you to navigate through conflict and keep romance between the two of you in the relationship.

 
Every conflict between you and your partner presents an opportunity to improve your relationship if both of you are committed to making things work. Conflicts make you understand each other better and appreciate your differences and uniqueness, if only you will deal with it out of love. When conflict arises, as they will, don’t forget that it is your lover you are dealing with not your enemy. With this mindset no conflict will tear you and your partner apart.

 
You are beautiful, special, unique and amazing. Believe this and never settle for someone who treats you like a scumbag. Treat your partner well and don’t accept anything less in return.