Tag: Blog

Don’t Marry A Man/Woman With These Behaviour: 4 Red Flag Signs You Must Not Overlook In A Relationship.

Relationship and marriage failure don’t just happen overnight. Relationships and marriages don’t turn violent, abusive and unhealthy all of a sudden. There are signs at the beginning that we often ignore because we chose to be blinded by our emotion or we are hopeful that things will just get better without addressing them. At the initial stage of the relationship people usually try as much as possible to be sweet and hide their true character. However, character they say is like a smoke which cannot be hidden forever- it always reveal itself.

One important thing to do at the beginning of a relationship is to pay close attention to the character/behaviour of your partner before you get too deeply attached to him/her emotionally.

You must never let your emotion get the best of you in the face of potential danger.

Don’t let your emotion do the thinking for you.

Don’t get too desperate to be in a relationship just because you are tired of being single.

Most abusive relationship could have been totally avoided at the beginning before getting deeply involved if only the persons involved had pay attention to red flag signs you must not ignore in a relationship before it get too serious.

Here are the red flag signs you must watch out for if you dont want to end up in a violent or abusive relationship/marriage:

1. Aggressiveness: I saw a video on twitter about a lady who was beaten black and blue by her ex just because she left him. In the video, she said she didn’t believe she could survived the violent attack. I must say she is lucky because most victims of aggressive and violent partners don’t live to tell their bitter story.

We can tell if someone is overly aggressive in a relationship but oftentimes we make excuses for their aggressive actions towards us because we have become emotionally attached to them.

If he hits you at will when you are still dating just imagine how often he will use you as a punchbag over little misunderstanding when you are both married.

Some ladies make a mistake of perceiving aggression as manliness.

If you think he will use his aggression to protect you, think twice because you will surely become a victim of it one day.

Aggressiveness is not only a male gender thing, it applies to the female too.

There are women physically abusing their husband or even ending their hubby life.

If she throws object at you or uses dangerous objects to threaten you during a misunderstanding, you should know that you are not safe in such a relationship.

Aggressiveness is a red flag sign that most people usually overlook when they allow their emotion to overrule their judgement.

The sad news is most people that make this grievous mistake don’t live to tell their story while few that survived abusive relationship with an aggressive partner carries with them a fearsome memory and an indellible scar they will not forget for the rest of their lives.

So be careful before you decide to ignore this red flag sign.

2. Irresponsible behaviour: Most people focus too much on physical looks and financial status before considering a prospective partner. That in itself is not a bad idea if only the important things are not trivialize or ignored completely.

The important thing to look out for when it comes to chosing a partner is the person’s behaviour/character.

This is because it is the behaviour of the person that will determine how they will treat you or conduct theirself in the relationship.

If you are planning to get married to someone, it is important for you to be sure he/she doesn’t have a behaviour that will frustrate and jeopardize the success of nuptial conjugation in the nearest future.

We have heard lot of stories of irresponsible partners leading to high rise in divorce rate in our generation. Some are stories of married men neglecting their marital responsibility while chasing single ladies in town. Or men neglecting their pregnant wife. Women are not left out. Stories of married women leaving their children and husband for a richer guy is also all over the place.

You must be sure if he/she is a responsible person. That’s someone that wouldn’t neglect his/her marital responsibily and daring the consequences.

3. Promiscuity: Staying faithful and loyal is a personal choice which require self control. Faithfulness and loyalty are very important for the success of any relationship/marriage.

However, some people are not willing to deny their body of any sexual pleasure.

They lack the self control/discipline require to stay faithful to one sexual partner. They allow their sexual urges dictate their action at the expenses of their relationship.

People like these often says everyone cheat.

You must stay away from people like these if you know you can’t handle seeing your partner sleeping around when you are married.

If he/she does it during dating/courtship period, chances are high he/she will continue to do it when you eventually get married.

Some people see promiscuity as a normal way of life.

They believe everyone cheats and it is impossible to stay faithful to one sexual partner for a long time.

These are lies promiscuous person or cheater use to justify their abnormal behaviour.

Cheating is not normal in a relationship. Cheating is not a mistake but a choice.

It indicates lack of self control over sexual urges.

It shows that the person don’t really care about hurting their partner’s feelings.

Men and women cheat.

Not all men cheat and same can be said for women.

Don’t make a mistake of settling for a promiscuous partner just because people are saying everyone cheat.

Not everyone cheat. There are still people(men and women) who don’t cheat.

4. Manipulative behaviour: This is the last red flag sign you should watch out for in a relationship before you consider take it to another level -marriage.

Some people are expert at manipulating people.

They don’t enter into a relationship because they are in love, they only enter when they have find someone they can manipulate and take undue advantage of financially or in other area base on their need.

What they do is to use people to further their own selfish cause.

They will blackmail you emotionally or bully/threaten you just to get what they want in the relationship.

Partner like this will want you to do everything for them as if you are oblige to.

If you fail to do what they ask of you, they will throw tantrum at you like kids do.

They will pick up a fight with you or say stuff that will make you feel guilty.

Be careful of emotional manipulators.

Pay attention to the red flag signs discussed so as not to regret your decision later in the future concerning your choice of partner like most married people are regretting.

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Don’t Rush Into Relationship Because Of Loneliness

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

Relationship should not be rush into just because you dread the feeling of being lonely.

Don’t stay in a relationship that bring continuous sorrow and pain to you.

Life is too short so enjoy it while it last.

Our relationship determines to a great extent if we are going to enjoy our life on earth or not.

Though no relationship is perfect but a healthy relationship will not derail your life or career and bring you continuous sorrow, pain and sleepless night.

A person that truly loves you will always be careful not to hurt your feelings and make concerted effort to make you a happier and better person than you can be without him/her.

Relationship is not all about money.

Relationship is not all about catching feelings.

You must learn to develop your emotional intelligence so as to prevent your emotions from controlling your life.

You must not allow your emotion to always determine the direction of your life and relationship.

Only give your heart to someone that will value and take good care of it.

Stop chasing people that you need to convince before they notice your worth and uniqueness.

Quit worrying about someone who does not have time for you.

You don’t need to beg for attention and affection from a person that loves and values you.

Learn to let go of any person or relationship that continuously cause you pain and hurt your feelings.

Love yourself enough to only settle for someone that makes you happy and better.

Decide to always be with someone that cherish and appreciates you.

Decide from today that you will either be in a healthy relationship or remain single.

#1090 Quote

My First One Month Of Blogging

Today marks a month I started this blog site.

I am really glad that I finally got a medium to let the world know about my philosophy and ideology about relationships and life in general.

I really appreciate every single person that have visited my blog and read through my posts.

I appreciate those that like and comment on my post.

I appreciate those that are following me.

I really appreciate all the people from Nigeria, South Africa, Egypt, America,United Kingdom, European Union and other countries that I can’t mention who do visit my blog.

I really wish to hear how much my write up has helped improve your relationship.

I must not forget to thank a certain  viewer from America that is always the first to see my post.

I appreciate every single person who has visited and view my post. You guys are the reason I stay up late at night to write and post.

I love you all….

Thank you….

E Se pupo which means thanks a lot in Yoruba language.

Please keep visiting and viewing my post. I will be greatly honored if you can also share the post with others on your social media page.

Thank you once again

Love Doctor’s Advice 005

You don’t have to change for someone to love you. A person who is genuinely interested in you will love you exactly the way you are. Though it is good to change for the good. If you want to change, do so because you desire to be a better person not to get someone’s love or attention. Someone who can’t love and accept you the way you are now wouldn’t still value you even if you changed everything about you to please such a person.

Every relationship has its problem, fights and misunderstanding but what makes a relationship beautiful is the desire and determination to stick together and make things work no matter what.

Your happiness should not be determined by others. If you depend on others to be happy, your happiness will never be stable and long lasting. When you give people the power to determine your happiness, few can resist the temptation to use it to manipulate you. Take deliberate effort to make yourself happy. And spend time with the people that make you happy.

You can tell when someone takes you serious in a relationship if you care enough to pay attention. When you find someone who takes you serious, don’t spoil things by creating a back up plan (keeping someone else incase the relationship failed). When you do, you will eventually need it. Your back up plan will be the cause of the relationship failure.

Stop making negative assumption about the opposite sex in general. Don’t judge all the opposite sex because of the bad experience you had with few in time past. Not all men cheat. Not all women are unrepentant liar or materialistic. Judging the new people you are meeting based on the few you had met in time past might make you lose the chance of meeting good people. Don’t allow your past to change your outlook on life and people in a negative way. Negative mentality repeal positive and good people. It may also create a negative reality leading to vicious cycle of bad or unhealthy relationships.

Love Doctor’s Advice 004

When you are angry with your lover that is the time to keep quiet or think twice about what you are uttering. Because anger make us want to say something hurtful. You must be careful not to say anything that you will regret later. Words uttered during a fight can do a damage that will be irreparable if you fail to control your tongue. Make it a rule that during a misunderstanding in your relationship that you will attack issues(the cause of the quarrel) not personality(your lover).

 
Do you desire to make your lover happy when he/she does something for you and want them to do more of it. The secret is to lavish them with appreciation no matter how little what they did for you. Most time we make mistake of complaining about something in what they did. Why didn’t you buy this colour? Why didn’t you buy that instead of this? Why didn’t you do it this way? This kind of response discourage people. Learn to give appreciation generously. It gives encouragement and gladdens your lover’s heart. And if you are not satisfied with what they did instead of complaining tactfully suggest what you would have prefer next time they want to do the same thing after you must have shown them genuine appreciation.

 
Every once in a while surprise your lover with a gift for no particular reason. Gift brings down resistance and gladdens the heart of the receiver. The key to a lady’s heart is a gift. Men also love gift. Gift works like magic on all of us. Especially when the gift is coming from the person we love and cherish. We feel loved, appreciated, special and elated when someone special(a lover) get us a gift.

 
Whenever there is a problem in your relationship: Before you start thinking of what your partner did wrong. First figure out what you did to contribute to the problem. When you approach fights and misunderstanding in your relationship in this manner, you wouldn’t stay mad at each other for long. And it will be easy to resolve issue because you won’t be blaming everything on your lover. You will be able to see your own fault and start with your own apology which will make it easy for your partner to accept their fault and apologise too.

 
A Relationship without trust is destined to fail sooner or later. After you have established a heart connection with your partner, the next important thing to is to build up trust between the two of you. I trust you is more powerful than I love you. A cliche says don’t lie to someone that trust you and never trust a person who lies to you. The key to earning someone’s trust is being honest and truthful with them. Make effort to earn the trust of your partner. Trust is the bedrock of a healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

I Can’t Do It Alone: Lets Do This Together

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I created this blog inorder to help people enjoy their relationship.

My goal is to continuously  write articles that will add value and help improve people’s relationship.

My joy is to get feedback from people whose relationship/love pursuit has been made lot easier through the post on this blog and  people already in a relationships who have been able to improve their relationships through my posts.

However, one is too small to achieve much.

A tree doesn’t make a forest.

I can’t do it alone.

I need your support through sharing my post on your social media pages.

Lets work together as a team.

Anytime you read a post that is helpful to you please click on the share button.

Please you should also tell your friends about the blog.

Lets work together to acheive a happy love life for each and everyone.

You can also talk to me if you need to talk to someone concerning any relationship issue bothering you.

You can follow me on twitter @Seyilovedoctor and Instagram @seyilovedoctor. You can mail me through Oluwaseyiadeoshun@gmail.com.

I advice you join my facebook group Seyi Love Doctor’s Blog and like my facebook page Oluwaseyi Adeoshun. Thank you.

Why I Created This Blog

I created this blog out of the desire to help contribute to people’s lives. I love to see people happy.

My observation is that relationship and successes(achievements) are the main determinant of happiness in our lives as human beings.

So i decided to contribute something that can help people to experience a better relationship through my blog.

The poem can be send to your lover.

The advice and articles are to provide guidance and help towards experiencing a better love life in healthy and loving relationship.

Let’s begin the journey together to a happy love life.

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