Relationship and marriage failure don’t just happen overnight. Relationships and marriages don’t turn violent, abusive and unhealthy all of a sudden. There are signs at the beginning that we often ignore because we chose to be blinded by our emotion or we are hopeful that things will just get better without addressing them. At the initial stage of the relationship people usually try as much as possible to be sweet and hide their true character. However, character they say is like a smoke which cannot be hidden forever- it always reveal itself.
One important thing to do at the beginning of a relationship is to pay close attention to the character/behaviour of your partner before you get too deeply attached to him/her emotionally.
You must never let your emotion get the best of you in the face of potential danger.
Don’t let your emotion do the thinking for you.
Don’t get too desperate to be in a relationship just because you are tired of being single.
Most abusive relationship could have been totally avoided at the beginning before getting deeply involved if only the persons involved had pay attention to red flag signs you must not ignore in a relationship before it get too serious.
Here are the red flag signs you must watch out for if you dont want to end up in a violent or abusive relationship/marriage:
1. Aggressiveness: I saw a video on twitter about a lady who was beaten black and blue by her ex just because she left him. In the video, she said she didn’t believe she could survived the violent attack. I must say she is lucky because most victims of aggressive and violent partners don’t live to tell their bitter story.
We can tell if someone is overly aggressive in a relationship but oftentimes we make excuses for their aggressive actions towards us because we have become emotionally attached to them.
If he hits you at will when you are still dating just imagine how often he will use you as a punchbag over little misunderstanding when you are both married.
Some ladies make a mistake of perceiving aggression as manliness.
If you think he will use his aggression to protect you, think twice because you will surely become a victim of it one day.
Aggressiveness is not only a male gender thing, it applies to the female too.
There are women physically abusing their husband or even ending their hubby life.
If she throws object at you or uses dangerous objects to threaten you during a misunderstanding, you should know that you are not safe in such a relationship.
Aggressiveness is a red flag sign that most people usually overlook when they allow their emotion to overrule their judgement.
The sad news is most people that make this grievous mistake don’t live to tell their story while few that survived abusive relationship with an aggressive partner carries with them a fearsome memory and an indellible scar they will not forget for the rest of their lives.
So be careful before you decide to ignore this red flag sign.
2. Irresponsible behaviour: Most people focus too much on physical looks and financial status before considering a prospective partner. That in itself is not a bad idea if only the important things are not trivialize or ignored completely.
The important thing to look out for when it comes to chosing a partner is the person’s behaviour/character.
This is because it is the behaviour of the person that will determine how they will treat you or conduct theirself in the relationship.
If you are planning to get married to someone, it is important for you to be sure he/she doesn’t have a behaviour that will frustrate and jeopardize the success of nuptial conjugation in the nearest future.
We have heard lot of stories of irresponsible partners leading to high rise in divorce rate in our generation. Some are stories of married men neglecting their marital responsibility while chasing single ladies in town. Or men neglecting their pregnant wife. Women are not left out. Stories of married women leaving their children and husband for a richer guy is also all over the place.
You must be sure if he/she is a responsible person. That’s someone that wouldn’t neglect his/her marital responsibily and daring the consequences.
3. Promiscuity: Staying faithful and loyal is a personal choice which require self control. Faithfulness and loyalty are very important for the success of any relationship/marriage.
However, some people are not willing to deny their body of any sexual pleasure.
They lack the self control/discipline require to stay faithful to one sexual partner. They allow their sexual urges dictate their action at the expenses of their relationship.
People like these often says everyone cheat.
You must stay away from people like these if you know you can’t handle seeing your partner sleeping around when you are married.
If he/she does it during dating/courtship period, chances are high he/she will continue to do it when you eventually get married.
Some people see promiscuity as a normal way of life.
They believe everyone cheats and it is impossible to stay faithful to one sexual partner for a long time.
These are lies promiscuous person or cheater use to justify their abnormal behaviour.
Cheating is not normal in a relationship. Cheating is not a mistake but a choice.
It indicates lack of self control over sexual urges.
It shows that the person don’t really care about hurting their partner’s feelings.
Men and women cheat.
Not all men cheat and same can be said for women.
Don’t make a mistake of settling for a promiscuous partner just because people are saying everyone cheat.
Not everyone cheat. There are still people(men and women) who don’t cheat.
4. Manipulative behaviour: This is the last red flag sign you should watch out for in a relationship before you consider take it to another level -marriage.
Some people are expert at manipulating people.
They don’t enter into a relationship because they are in love, they only enter when they have find someone they can manipulate and take undue advantage of financially or in other area base on their need.
What they do is to use people to further their own selfish cause.
They will blackmail you emotionally or bully/threaten you just to get what they want in the relationship.
Partner like this will want you to do everything for them as if you are oblige to.
If you fail to do what they ask of you, they will throw tantrum at you like kids do.
They will pick up a fight with you or say stuff that will make you feel guilty.
Be careful of emotional manipulators.
Pay attention to the red flag signs discussed so as not to regret your decision later in the future concerning your choice of partner like most married people are regretting.