Tag: Attention

It’s Better To Be Single And Lonely

Two are better than one because they can keep each other’s company, make each other happy, care for each other, encourage and support each other.

This is the essence of a relationship.

Relationship should add value to our lives not detract it.

Relationship should make our lives easier not complicated.

Relationship should help us to become happier and better than we can be on our own not the other way round.

Relationship should help us stay focus on what is important and achieve our dreams and ambitions not distract us and hold us back.

Life has its ups and downs already relationship should not add to it. Many stuff in life for instance work causes stress so relationship should not compound it.

Relationship is not a do or die affair. You don’t have to be in a relationship just because you are afraid or tired of being single and lonely.

Don’t stay in a relationship that makes your life miserable and deprived you of your peace of mind and sound night sleep.

It’s is better to be alone than to be in a relationship with a partner who is doing any of the following:

 
1) A partner that takes you and your efforts for granted.

 
2) A partner that lies to you about everything and anything, making you look like a fool in the presence of others.

 
3) A partner that makes you look like a fool for caring too much.

 
4) A partner who put you in doubt about where you actually belong in their life. Someone who is not committed to you.

 
5) A partner who takes undue advantage of you financially or in any way just because they know you love them so much and you are willing to do anything for them.

 
6) A partner who feels like he or she is doing you a favor by being with you.

 
7) A partner who doesn’t respect, support or appreciate you.

 
8) A partner that abuses you physically, emotionally, mentally or sexually.

 
9) A partner who sees and treats you as a competitor and feels threatened by your success and progress in life and career especially when you are getting ahead of them.

 
10) A partner who you have to beg for his/her attention and affection.

 
Relationship should be something you start because you have found the right person who is willing to put in the same effort you will put to ensure things work out.

Relationship should only start when you have find that one person that truly loves and cares about you just the same you do about them and also need you in his/her life to complete and compliment it like you also need them.

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Don’t Marry A Man/Woman With These Behaviour: 4 Red Flag Signs You Must Not Overlook In A Relationship.

Relationship and marriage failure don’t just happen overnight. Relationships and marriages don’t turn violent, abusive and unhealthy all of a sudden. There are signs at the beginning that we often ignore because we chose to be blinded by our emotion or we are hopeful that things will just get better without addressing them. At the initial stage of the relationship people usually try as much as possible to be sweet and hide their true character. However, character they say is like a smoke which cannot be hidden forever- it always reveal itself.

One important thing to do at the beginning of a relationship is to pay close attention to the character/behaviour of your partner before you get too deeply attached to him/her emotionally.

You must never let your emotion get the best of you in the face of potential danger.

Don’t let your emotion do the thinking for you.

Don’t get too desperate to be in a relationship just because you are tired of being single.

Most abusive relationship could have been totally avoided at the beginning before getting deeply involved if only the persons involved had pay attention to red flag signs you must not ignore in a relationship before it get too serious.

Here are the red flag signs you must watch out for if you dont want to end up in a violent or abusive relationship/marriage:

1. Aggressiveness: I saw a video on twitter about a lady who was beaten black and blue by her ex just because she left him. In the video, she said she didn’t believe she could survived the violent attack. I must say she is lucky because most victims of aggressive and violent partners don’t live to tell their bitter story.

We can tell if someone is overly aggressive in a relationship but oftentimes we make excuses for their aggressive actions towards us because we have become emotionally attached to them.

If he hits you at will when you are still dating just imagine how often he will use you as a punchbag over little misunderstanding when you are both married.

Some ladies make a mistake of perceiving aggression as manliness.

If you think he will use his aggression to protect you, think twice because you will surely become a victim of it one day.

Aggressiveness is not only a male gender thing, it applies to the female too.

There are women physically abusing their husband or even ending their hubby life.

If she throws object at you or uses dangerous objects to threaten you during a misunderstanding, you should know that you are not safe in such a relationship.

Aggressiveness is a red flag sign that most people usually overlook when they allow their emotion to overrule their judgement.

The sad news is most people that make this grievous mistake don’t live to tell their story while few that survived abusive relationship with an aggressive partner carries with them a fearsome memory and an indellible scar they will not forget for the rest of their lives.

So be careful before you decide to ignore this red flag sign.

2. Irresponsible behaviour: Most people focus too much on physical looks and financial status before considering a prospective partner. That in itself is not a bad idea if only the important things are not trivialize or ignored completely.

The important thing to look out for when it comes to chosing a partner is the person’s behaviour/character.

This is because it is the behaviour of the person that will determine how they will treat you or conduct theirself in the relationship.

If you are planning to get married to someone, it is important for you to be sure he/she doesn’t have a behaviour that will frustrate and jeopardize the success of nuptial conjugation in the nearest future.

We have heard lot of stories of irresponsible partners leading to high rise in divorce rate in our generation. Some are stories of married men neglecting their marital responsibility while chasing single ladies in town. Or men neglecting their pregnant wife. Women are not left out. Stories of married women leaving their children and husband for a richer guy is also all over the place.

You must be sure if he/she is a responsible person. That’s someone that wouldn’t neglect his/her marital responsibily and daring the consequences.

3. Promiscuity: Staying faithful and loyal is a personal choice which require self control. Faithfulness and loyalty are very important for the success of any relationship/marriage.

However, some people are not willing to deny their body of any sexual pleasure.

They lack the self control/discipline require to stay faithful to one sexual partner. They allow their sexual urges dictate their action at the expenses of their relationship.

People like these often says everyone cheat.

You must stay away from people like these if you know you can’t handle seeing your partner sleeping around when you are married.

If he/she does it during dating/courtship period, chances are high he/she will continue to do it when you eventually get married.

Some people see promiscuity as a normal way of life.

They believe everyone cheats and it is impossible to stay faithful to one sexual partner for a long time.

These are lies promiscuous person or cheater use to justify their abnormal behaviour.

Cheating is not normal in a relationship. Cheating is not a mistake but a choice.

It indicates lack of self control over sexual urges.

It shows that the person don’t really care about hurting their partner’s feelings.

Men and women cheat.

Not all men cheat and same can be said for women.

Don’t make a mistake of settling for a promiscuous partner just because people are saying everyone cheat.

Not everyone cheat. There are still people(men and women) who don’t cheat.

4. Manipulative behaviour: This is the last red flag sign you should watch out for in a relationship before you consider take it to another level -marriage.

Some people are expert at manipulating people.

They don’t enter into a relationship because they are in love, they only enter when they have find someone they can manipulate and take undue advantage of financially or in other area base on their need.

What they do is to use people to further their own selfish cause.

They will blackmail you emotionally or bully/threaten you just to get what they want in the relationship.

Partner like this will want you to do everything for them as if you are oblige to.

If you fail to do what they ask of you, they will throw tantrum at you like kids do.

They will pick up a fight with you or say stuff that will make you feel guilty.

Be careful of emotional manipulators.

Pay attention to the red flag signs discussed so as not to regret your decision later in the future concerning your choice of partner like most married people are regretting.

Don’t Stay In An Abusive/Unhealthy Relationship: Relationship Is Not A Do Or Die Affair

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

Relationship should not be rush into just because you dread the feeling of being lonely.

Being single doesn’t mean your life is miserable.

So don’t enter into a relationship because you are lonely. You shouldn’t allow loneliness push you into unhealthy or toxic relationship.

Why would you stay in a relationship that bring continuous sorrow and pain to you, when there is someone out there who will cherish you and go the extra mile just to ensure you are happy.

Life is too short why would you decide to spend most of it in sadness and sorrow all in a name of relationship.

Our relationship determines to a great extent if we are going to enjoy our life on earth or not.

Though no relationship is perfect but a healthy relationship will not derail your life or career and bring you continuous sorrow, pain and sleepless night.

A person that truly loves you will always be careful not to hurt your feelings and make concerted effort to make you a happier and better person than you can be without him/her.

Relationship is not all about money.

Relationship is not all about catching feelings.

Relationship is not all about physical attraction.

You must learn to develop your emotional intelligence so as to prevent your emotions from controlling your life and causing you to make wrong choice when it comes to chosing a partner.

You must not allow your emotion to always determine the direction of your life and relationship.

Stop desiring or longing for someone who take you for granted just because he/she looks great or support you financially.

Stop longing for someone who you have to fight for his/her attention and affection just you find it difficult to stop thinking about him/her.

Stop falling in love with the same kind of people that keep using and dumping you.

Stop falling in love with people that make you feel inadequate and hard to love.

You need to displine and guide your heart.

Guide your heart with all dilligent for out of it flows the decision that will make or mar you in life and relationship.

Only give your heart to someone that will value and take good care of it.

Stop chasing people that you need to convince before they notice your worth and uniqueness.

Quit worrying about someone who does not have time for you.

You don’t need to beg for attention and affection from a person that loves and values you.

Learn to let go of any person or relationship that continuously cause you pain/hurt your feelings.

Any relationship that take away your happiness, peace of mind and sound night sleep is too expensive, let it go.

You must learn to know when to keep fighting for your relationship and when to give up on a dead relationship.

Love yourself enough to settle for someone that makes you happy and better.

You must also know that there is a difference between fighting for love and fighting for someone to love you.

Real and true love is never complicated, the moment things is getting complicated that is the best time to walk away.

Complicated relationship is nothing but time waster and joy killer.

Decide to always be with someone that cherish and appreciates you.

Decide to either be in a healthy relationship or be alone.

What Do You Want In A Relationship?

confusedThe aim of most serious relationship is to end in marriage.

Almost everyone desire to enjoy a happy married life.

However, desire, hope, wishes or prayers alone does not guarantee a happy married life.

A happy married life is an ultimate accomplishment when it comes to relationship for most people.

Success in any sphere of life requires extra effort and same can be said for relationships.

A happy married life must be work towards from the word go.

It takes knowing what you really want and not settling for less.

It also takes time, unconditional love, commitment, faithfulness, forgiveness, sacrifice, self displine, determination, emotional maturity among others.

These requirements must be streaming from both partners before a relationship can be able to stand the test of time and still remain healthy and loving.
Relationship and marriages fail most times because people don’t know exactly what they want.

If you want to be truly happy in your relationship you must clearly define exactly what you want in a relationship.

Talking about what you want in a relationship, am not referring to the superficial qualities like physical attractiveness, educational, social and financial status.

It is quite sad that most people over focus on them while ignoring things that are more important when it comes to chosing a partner.

Hold on for a second before you get me wrong.

I am not saying physical attraction, financial capability, social and academic status are not important.

They are definitely important.

It is cool to be with someone you can flaunt because of their good look.

Money makes love sweeter. Infact finance is the fuel for romance. Social and educational status makes it easy to connect on an intellectual level in a relationship.
Many relationships and marriages still failed inspite of having all these qualities present in their spouses.

Why so?

There are many people in relationship or marriage with a very good looking partner who is financially okay and also share similar academic and social status yet they are not happy together.

So what is the missing link in their relationship?

It is important to know the really important things when it comes to relationship.

The important thing to do before venturing into a love affair is to first sit down and highlight what you really want in a relationship.

You should define the kind of person you want.

You should clearly state out the qualities you desire in a mate.

For instance, you can say you want a person that is confident, caring, non-violent, understanding, friendly, open minded, respectful, law abiding among others.

You must also clearly define how you will be treated and what you will not endure or tolerate in a relationship.

Without a concrete resolution on what you want in a relationship you will continue to settle for just any person that comes your way which will make it pretty difficult to enjoy a loving and healthy relationship needless to mention a happy married life.
Relationship is beyond just having a good looking, educated or financially buoyant partner.

You also need someone that will treat well.

You need someone that will show you unconditional love.

You need someone that will let you know you mean the world to him/her.

You need someone that will make you feel special and on top of the world.

You need someone that is afraid to lose you.

You need someone that will dry away your tears and make deliberate effort to make you happy on a consistent basis without a reason.

You need someone that will accept, value and respect you for who you are.

You need someone that is committed to helping you to be your best possible in every sphere of life.

You need someone you don’t have to beg or compete for his/her attention and affection.

You need someone who is proud to have you and wouldn’t hesitate to show you off to his friends and family.

My aim of writing this article is to help you enjoy your relationship by knowing exacting what you want as an individual when it comes to your relationship goals.

So what do you want in a relationship?

Do you know what your heart, soul and body want in terms of relationship?