Tag: Advice

Relationship Nuggets 005

Competition is not ideal in a healthy relationship. It breeds a hostile atmosphere. Relationship is about togetherness not battle of the sexes. Relationship is not about fighting for which gender is superior. Healthy relationship involves two partners supporting and understanding each other. The right mindset in a relationship should be to see the failure of one as the failure of all: And same for success. Partners should encourage each other to break boundaries not compete with each other for who will be more successful and richer. See your partner as your team mate not as your competitor. When you support each other, you will grow, succeed and stay together.

 

Be careful of who you tell everything that happens in your relationship and who you run to for relationship advice. Most people you see as friends are not really your friends. Oftentimes they get jealous and bitter when you tell them about the happenings in your relationship. Most times your friends wish they have the kind of relationship you have that you are still complaining one or two things about to them. Human are naturally jealous and envious when they see people who have what they lack. And very few people can keep their jealous/envy under control, most people usually allow it to control them. This fact can make your friends give you advice that will make you do stuff that will ruin your relationship or even snatch away your partner from you. So before you take advice from a friend, you should always ask yourself will it help improve your relationship or make things worse.

 

Faithfulness is becoming a rare trait these days. If you want a faithful partner you must first choose to be a faithful person yourself. Then you must be determined never to settle for a cheating/unfaithful partner. Work on yourself to get to the state of mind when you tell a cheating partner to be faithful or lose you irrespective of how much you love and want to be with that person. Grow and develop yourself in every aspect of your life. When you work on yourself to become someone of great value it will become difficult for you to tolerate shit in a relationship. Make yourself that partner that brings value to a relationship apart from money(man) and your body(woman). Make yourself that partner that someone is afraid to lose because it will be difficult to replace him/her. Be a faithful and value adding partner.

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Relationship Nuggets 004

Love involves making sacrifices. However, it is totally unwise to make sacrifices blindly for someone just because you love him/her. Before you make sacrifices in a relationship, you need to ask yourself if the person you want to make sacrifice for will do the same for you if you are in his/her position. You deserve the kind of love you give out. Love is not just about giving, it also involves receiving. Don’t be the only one going out of your way to ensure the relationship continue to exist. If the feelings, effort and sacrifice are not mutual then it is not good for your mental and emotional well-being. Stay clear of any person that pressurise you to make sacrifices for them before starting a relationship with you or a partner that put continuous pressure on you to make sacrifices for them and start acting funny each time you are unable to do what they want. People like these are not with you because they want to be with you but for what they stand to gain from being with you.

 

 
There is no amount of sacrifices you can make for someone in the name of love that will make him/her to stay in your life forever if he/she doesn’t want to stay. Making sacrifices for someone that doesn’t love you will make him/her sees you as a means to achieve his/her ends. Such a person will eventually leave you after using you to achieve their ends. Be wise, only make sacrifices for people that truly loves you and will deeply appreciate your efforts for them. Make sacrifices for people you are assured of your position in their lifes. People who won’t hesitate to do more than you have done for them in the relationship when the need arises.

 

 

Communication is key to building a healthy and loving relationship. If you want to retain the fire of romance between you and your partner make effort to communicate on a daily basis when you are together and when you far apart. And you don’t need to have something special to discuss before you reach out to your partner. Create an enabling environment for easy flow of communication between you and your partner. Make your partner feel at ease to say out their mind without the fear of being judged or criticized. Regular communication will make the bond between you and your partner grow stronger and it will also help you and your partner to understand each other better day by day. If you want to be your partner’s best friend and confidant improve on the level of communication between you and him/her.

Relationship Nuggets 001

Relationship is not about finding someone that will provide solution to all your problems. Having such mentality will make you become a liability in your relationship. Rather focus on finding a partner that wouldn’t become another problem in your life. A/An cheating/aggressive/abusive/irresponsible partner will create more problems for you than the happiness they will bring you. Don’t ever settle for an abusive/unhealthy relationship with the hope that things will change for good soon while you keep putting up with the physical/emotional abuse, emotional pain and torture or domestic violence. Hope alone wouldn’t change an abusive partner/relationship for good. Many have gone to their early grave because of this foolish hope. Be wise, it is better to be alone than to endure an abusive relationship. Loneliness wouldn’t kill but abusive relationship has made many leave this world unceremoniously.

 
Everyone comes into a relationship with their baggages. A good relationship is the one where both partners help each other to unpack those baggages. Almost everyone has been hurt, cheated, betrayed, disappointed, lied to in their past relationships and all these have a way of shaping our beliefs about relationships and how we will behave towards our partner in the next relationship. Find someone that will help you unpack your baggages. Fine someone that will help you unlearn bad habit and drop negative belief you picked in your past relationships. Find someone that will assist you to become better person. Their are lots of healthy, loving, lasting and supportive relationships if you are yet to be in one keep searching don’t settle for less.

 
Trust is very important in a relationship. Most issues causing fight, misunderstanding, argument and quarrels can be trace back to trust issues. If you want a healthy, loving and lasting relationship ensure you build a solid foundation of trust between you and your partner. Try as much as possible to be honest, truthful and open about everything and anything that can hurt your partner’s feelings if they found out by themselves. Learn to prevent yourself from lying to someone you want to trust you because you will find it difficult yourself to trust someone who is fond of lying to you.

Don’t Stay In An Abusive/Unhealthy Relationship: Relationship Is Not A Do Or Die Affair

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

Relationship should not be rush into just because you dread the feeling of being lonely.

Being single doesn’t mean your life is miserable.

So don’t enter into a relationship because you are lonely. You shouldn’t allow loneliness push you into unhealthy or toxic relationship.

Why would you stay in a relationship that bring continuous sorrow and pain to you, when there is someone out there who will cherish you and go the extra mile just to ensure you are happy.

Life is too short why would you decide to spend most of it in sadness and sorrow all in a name of relationship.

Our relationship determines to a great extent if we are going to enjoy our life on earth or not.

Though no relationship is perfect but a healthy relationship will not derail your life or career and bring you continuous sorrow, pain and sleepless night.

A person that truly loves you will always be careful not to hurt your feelings and make concerted effort to make you a happier and better person than you can be without him/her.

Relationship is not all about money.

Relationship is not all about catching feelings.

Relationship is not all about physical attraction.

You must learn to develop your emotional intelligence so as to prevent your emotions from controlling your life and causing you to make wrong choice when it comes to chosing a partner.

You must not allow your emotion to always determine the direction of your life and relationship.

Stop desiring or longing for someone who take you for granted just because he/she looks great or support you financially.

Stop longing for someone who you have to fight for his/her attention and affection just you find it difficult to stop thinking about him/her.

Stop falling in love with the same kind of people that keep using and dumping you.

Stop falling in love with people that make you feel inadequate and hard to love.

You need to displine and guide your heart.

Guide your heart with all dilligent for out of it flows the decision that will make or mar you in life and relationship.

Only give your heart to someone that will value and take good care of it.

Stop chasing people that you need to convince before they notice your worth and uniqueness.

Quit worrying about someone who does not have time for you.

You don’t need to beg for attention and affection from a person that loves and values you.

Learn to let go of any person or relationship that continuously cause you pain/hurt your feelings.

Any relationship that take away your happiness, peace of mind and sound night sleep is too expensive, let it go.

You must learn to know when to keep fighting for your relationship and when to give up on a dead relationship.

Love yourself enough to settle for someone that makes you happy and better.

You must also know that there is a difference between fighting for love and fighting for someone to love you.

Real and true love is never complicated, the moment things is getting complicated that is the best time to walk away.

Complicated relationship is nothing but time waster and joy killer.

Decide to always be with someone that cherish and appreciates you.

Decide to either be in a healthy relationship or be alone.

Signs That Will Tell If He/She Is Your Soulmate: 10 Habits Of A Soulmate

A Soulmate is a person that loves you truly and have decided to stick with you through thick and thin.

Relationship is sweeter and animated when you find your soulmate.

Most people have found their soulmate but unknowingly let him/her go because they have unrealistic idea of a soulmate.

A soulmate is a human just like you.

Imperfect and mundane just like you.

But if you observe your relationship with them, you will notice that there is something unique about them.

They might not have answers to all your problems but they are willing to find the answers with you.

They complete and compliment you.

They love you the way you have never been love before.

They bring you comfort, peace of mind and happiness.

They encourage you to launch out and be your best possible.

They simply bring something new to your life.

So how will you know if he/she is your soulmate?

Here are signs that will help you know if he/she is your soulmate.

The 10 habits of a soulmate……

 

1. He/she makes you happy: Happiness is a personal decision. It must stem from within. Truth must be told, people in our lives also contribute largely to our happiness or sadness. Your partner have great influence on your mood.

Their actions/words can either make you happy or sad. A soulmate will make deliberate effort to ensure you are happy always and will never feel unconcern when you are sad.

 

2. He/she listens to you: Everyone is occupied by his/her own problem no matter how small it is.

Everyone is busy with their lives.

Most people don’t take time to listen to others to know exactly what they are passing through when something sensitive is been discuss with them.

A soulmate will never be too busy to listen to you.

He/she will eagerly put aside every other thing they are doing just to listen to you no matter what you have to say.

This is because he/she genuinely care about what you have to say and desire to know what you are going through.

A soulmate listen to understand not to jump to conclusion or judge you.

 

3. He/she challenges you: A soulmate knows your potential through constant interraction with you this make them to push and challenge to reach your full potential.

He/she finds joy in you achieving more and becoming your best possible.

He/she will never allow you to settle for mediocrity in whatever you set out to do.

A soulmate simply bring out the best in you.

 

4. He/she encourages you: Relationship is suppose to give us an assurance that no matter what happens even if the whole world go against us, there will always be one person to support and encourage us- our partner.

That is exactly what soulmate does.

A soulmate will always be your number one cheerleader.

 

5. He/she accept you: A soulmate will accept you for who you are without making you feel inadequate in anyway whatsoever.

A soulmate will love and accept you unconditionally, flaws and all.

 

6. He/she will never desert you: A soulmate is not someone that stays with you only when things are easy and rosy.

A soulmate will stay with you through thin and thick.

He/she will not desert you just because you are passing through a difficult times.

Instead of deserting you, a soulmate will stick around and help you overcome your challenges and difficulties.

 

7. He/she cherish you: To cherish is to love dearly. A soulmate will cherish you and appreciate your presence in his/her life.

What you cherish, you can’t take for granted. A soulmate will never take you for granted no matter how long you have been together.

He/she will instead cherish you more as the years goes by.

A soulmate will not get tired of you or lose respect for you just because you have been together for long. A soulmate will never stop loving you even when he/she is mad at you.

And he/she can not stay mad at you for long.

 

8. He/she finds it easy to appease you: A soulmate will value your happiness and peace of mind.

He/she understands that his/her actions can affects you directly or indirectly hence they are careful not to do things that will hurt your feelings.

Whenever he/she mistakenly hurt your feelings he/she will not find it difficult to say sorry to you.

He/she understand that apologizing when you are wrong is maturity and evidence that you value your partner’s feelings.

A soulmate doesn’t place his ego above his/her relationship or partner’s happiness.

A soulmate will gladly appease you when you angry or unhappy irrespective of who is at fault just to make sure you are happy.

 

9. He/she makes you feel comfortable: A soulmate will ensure you are comfortable around him/her so you don’t see the need to pretend.

A soulmate encourages you to express your true self. He/she will make you feel at ease when you around him/her.

A soulmate will not condemn or look down on you based on your personality type.

 

10. He/she correct and teach you: These days lots of people find joy in criticizing, mocking and judging people publicly when they make mistakes.

Very few people constructively correct and teach. Correction and teaching are acts of love.

A soulmate will correct/teach you so that you can improve in any area you are lagging behind.

A soulmate will not make an open mockery of you no matter your mistakes because he/she understands that shame to one is shame to both partners in a relationship.

Though a soulmate will not support you to indulge in a destructive habits.

A soulmate help you to desist from bad habits that can destroy your life.

He/she assist you to become a better woman or man.

A soulmate will not pressurize you to indulge in bad habits.
Everyone desire a relationship with a touch of paradise. A soulmate will give you that.

A soulmate will bring out the best in you. He/she will encourage and challenge you to be a better person. He/she will bring happiness to your life not sorrow and pain.

A soulmate is not a perfect person but someone committed to adding value to their partner’s life and making sure what they share last forever.

A soulmate is unforgetable, indispensable and irreplaceable.

Are you connected to your spouse on soul level ?

Are you your spouse soulmate?

If you can’t boldly answer yes. Here is your opportunity to improve your relationship.

Practise these 10 habits to be able to connect on a soul level with your partner and become a better partner to your spouse which will ultimately make your relationship a better one -paradise on earth.

Love Doctor’s Advice 011

Effort is an indication of interest. Any person that is genuinely interested in being a part of your life will put in the needed effort to be part of it. Anyone that truly care about you will never do anything that will hurt your feelings. Anyone that truly loves you will never wait for you to ask for their attention and affection before it’s given to you.

 
One important attribute of a healthy relationship is a peace of mind. Never waste your time in a relationship that consistently deprieved you a peaceful night sleep. Don’t continuously sacrifice your peace of mind just because you thought it will be very difficult to live without a partner that don’t care about your happiness or feelings. It is better to be alone and happy than to be lonely, unhappy and depressed in a relationship.

 
True love is when someone knows a lot about your past and still find you amazing. A person that truly loves you will never use your past mistakes against you.

 
Quit spending time with people who you have to continuously convince to see your worth. Start spending time with people who see your worth even at your worst. Be attracted to people that will convince you on your worst day that you are still worth their world.

 
People cheat because they chose to cheat. Cheating is never a mistake but a choice. Most time when people cheat it has nothing to do with their partner but speaks volume of who they are and what they chose to do.

Love Doctor’s Advice 010

Relationship are suppose to make us happier and better. If it is not making you happier and challenging you to be a better version of yourself than you could be on your own then it’s not worth your effort and time. Never settle for a relationship that deprieves you of your happiness and peaceful night rest or hinders you from going after your dreams.

 

 

Living your life base on the ideology that say ” What will be, will be” is like living your life base on chances, that is not good enough. Life is best live base on choices. Be decisive about the kind of relationship you want and the qualities you look for in a partner. Don’t just let life happen to you. Don’t settle for just anything that comes your way. Never put yourself in a situation where you have to settle for just any kind of relationship especially abusive or unhealthy ones.

 

 

There is nothing you can do to keep anyone in your life. Someone that want to stay in your life will stay no matter what you do: Someone that does not want to stay in your life, would not stay no matter what you do. Stop stressing yourself over how to keep someone that don’t want to be kept. Put in your best effort to make your work and leave the rest.

 

 

If you agree to cheat with him on his woman, you should know that he will cheat on you with other women if he eventually become your man. The way a relationship start often determines it’s flow and eventual end. If he left his woman because of you for no good reason, chances are he will later leave you because of another woman for no good reason. If it’s complicated never get yourself involve.

 

 

Four important questions you should always ask yourself with regards to your relationship are: (i) Am i happy being with him/her? (ii) Do i experience inner peace in this relationship? (iii) Does his/her actions shows that he/she care about my feelings and happiness? (iv) Does he/she encourage me to improve on myself and become a better person ?. Your answers will determines if the relationship is worth your time and effort.

Is been a while i posted. From henceforth there will regular and fresh post every week. Thank you.