Your Partner Is Not Your Competitor

Most of us are used to being in competition with everyone around us because of our upbringing and schooling.

We see others as our competitors that we must outdo by all means possible.

The problem is most of still carry this mentality into our romantic relationship.

In a romantic relationship partners are suppose to complete, compliment, support and encourage each other.

You must never see your partner as your competitor.

The two of you have technically become one. You should root for each other.

Literally you should be each other’s number one cheerleader.

Don’t ever see the success of your partner as a threat to you.

It should be a thing of joy to you when you see your partner achieve greatness.

It shows you are a value adder and growth facilitator if someone you are with is making progress.

And if your partner achieve more success the better its for you because you will both enjoy the benefit.

So instead of turning yourself into a stumbling block on the path of your partner to greater, make yourself their stepping stone.

Take delibrate effort to bring out the best in your partner.

Encourage them to be their best possible. Let “The success of one is the success of all” be your mantra in your relationship.

Instead thwarting the growth of your partner, work harder to achieve more so that both of you can have more successes to celebrate together.

This quote concerns men the most

#314 Quote

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Love Doctor’s Advice 009

Never use your lover’s past mistakes to judge them. Don’t blackmail your partner emotionally by criticising them based on their mistakes in past relationship. The past can not be undo. Let the past be in the past. It is only best used to understand your partner and know what make them tick. Use your partner’s past to know how best to love them.

 
Any person that knows your worth and really want you in their life will never put you in a position to fight for a spot in their life. Respect yourself enough to only be where you are needed. When you are needed, you will be respected, celebrated and appreciated. Don’t fight or force your way into any person’s life.

 
No relationship in the past is a waste of time. It either gave you joy or taught you a lesson. Don’t let the baggages from your past relationship destroy your present or future relationship. Pick the good lessons and unlearn the bad habits you pick up from your past toxic relationship. Use every past mistakes and failure to get wiser and better not bitter. Don’t treat the person in your life presently badly just because you have been treated badly in your past relationships. Don’t let your past destroy your present or future.

 
The fastest way to get yourself confused about who is best for you in a relationship is to get yourself involved with more than one partner at a time. Multiple-dating often make people end up with the wrong person when its time to settle down.

 
Be careful of the belief that believes giving your lovers a test is the best way to determine the person that loves you most and best suited for you. It is said that examination is not the best way to evaluate the ability of students to determine the best student. In a similar vein, the fact that a person passed your test doesn’t guarentee he or she is the best choice for you.

 

Happy Easter Monday To You All.

The Boundless Power Of Sorry

Sorry is just a five letters word but its power knows no bound.

It’s so disappointing that some people find it difficult to say sorry to someone they claim to love when they are in the wrong.

This is often due to the fact that they esteem their ego way above their relationship.

Placing your ego ahead of your relationship is the fastest way to surely destroy your relationship with your partner over an issue that just saying sorry can remedy.
A more disappointing situation is when people say am sorry just for the sake of saying it. Saying Am sorry doesn’t actually undo whatever harm or hurt that has been done.

It is just a way of expressing our deepest regret for doing way caused pain to our partner.

Also a promise that we won’t repeat such thing again.

It’s disheartening to know that inability to say sorry has led to the dissolution of many relationships with a promising future.
As stated earlier, the main reason some people find it difficult to say am sorry to their lover in order to restore peace to the relationship after a conflict or misunderstanding is pride or ego.

When you put your ego ahead of your relationship it is a sign of immaturity.

Matured person will find it easy to apologize when they are at fault.

At times you need to say sorry when you are not at fault just to calm the storm in your relationship.

That takes maturity. The secret of a healthy, loving and lasting relationship is learning to always put the good of the relationship ahead of your ego and personal interest.

This is the hallmark of maturity. We must endeavor to keep our ego under control in course of interacting with our partner.
Moreso, it doesn’t make sense to repeat what you once apologized for.

Repeating what you had already apologized for in time past to your partner is an unwise behavior.

That is an act of abusing the boundless power of the five letters word- Sorry.

If we continue to repeat the same behavior or thing we had already apologized for several times sooner or later the word will lose its meaning to our partner.
Finally, to build a successful relationship we must understand the importance of saying sorry when we are at fault.

We must also know that it is totally unwise and unacceptable to keep doing the same thing we once apologized for.

A beautiful relationship is the one that a sorry is all it takes to bring back the situation to normalcy after a conflict or misunderstanding.

I hope you find this helpful in your quest to experience a better, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

See Beyond The Flaws

Most times we let ourselves get carried away by the idea of an ideal or perfect lover somewhere that we miss out on the opportunity of seeing the beauty and uniqueness of the person we already have in our life.

I must tell you that there is no perfect person anywhere.

And there is no perfect relationship anywhere.

Every individual have their flaws, secret and shortcomings just like you.

Every relationship has its good times and bad times. The only way to enjoy a loving and healthy relationship is to see beyond the flaws and imperfections of the person you are with.

Find their strengths and celebrate it.

Learn to accept people the way they are, flaws and all if their flaws wouldn’t cause you physical, mental and emotional harm.

The important thing is to find someone who is willing to be with you through thick and thin.

When you find such a person build a great relationship with them.

True love is not found but built. #278 Quote

Trust Issues In Relationship

 

      Relationship is the spice of life.

Relationship is an integral part of us being a social animal.

The people around us contribute to a large extent to our happiness and how our lives turned out.

Romantic relationship is the most intimate amongst the different types of relationship and it commands a great influence over our lives.

Relationship when healthy and full of love makes life more beautiful and interesting.

Relationships are built on trust.

Trust issues is one of the root cause of problems encounter in relationship.

Trust, they say is earned. Not to be given freely.

However, many don’t understand how trust and relationship work, this is the root cause of disappointment, betrayal and heart breaks experienced in relationship.

Some people believe once you love a person, automatically you should trust the person.

Well, I stand to differ because of my observation in many failed relationships caused by betrayed trust.

Trust for me is something that must be earned.

After your trust is earned, you must verify if the person you gave your trust to still deserves it because people change.

This will help you from getting excessively hurt, devastated and heart broken incase your partner have ulterior motives for having a relationship with you.

As it is now rampart these days.

The fact that you love someone and you are emotionally attached to them is not enough reason to just give them your trust.

Trusting people just because you love them is trusting blindly.

Many people who have trust in this manner have been deeply hurt and regretted not making effort to verify if the person they trust is actually trustworthy because they are blinded by love.

An instance is a lady dating a guy who claim to be single but unknown to her that the guy is married with kids.

It is important to know that not everyone who claim to love you truly loves you.

Some claim to love you so as to use or manipulate you for their own purpose.

This is the reason you must make concerted effort to be sure the lover you are about to put your trust has your interest in mind.

Verifying trust makes it possible to discover a lover whose purpose is to use us for their own means at a early stage in the relationship.

This will help reduce the pain and ache experienced at discovering you are not really loved by the person but just a pawn they planned to use in order to achieve an end.

Put a price on your trust. Don’t just give it out blindly in the name of love.

Love is not what it used to be. The reason we feel some must when a lover does something we don’t like is because we have entrusted our emotions in them hoping they won’t hurt us.

Trust is very delicate.

Don’t just trust blindly.

Be careful of who you give your trust to.

Don’t be a victim of emotional manipulator.

I will love to get your feedback on this discussion.

Physical Attraction Is Not Enough

One of the numerous reasons relationships fail these days is because they are built on a wrong foundation.

Don’t fall in love just because of looks.

Look deeper.

See beyond the face value.

Beautiful heart is more precious than just a beautiful face.

When he/ she hurts or cheats on you repeatedly, you will not remember how attractive they look.

If you want a lasting and healthy relationship focus on finding someone with a beautiful heart than a beautiful face or body.

A person with a beautiful heart will make your world more beautiful.

#269 Quote

Love Doctor’s Advice 008

Communication is the lifeline of a loving and healthy relationship. Make effort to communicate with your partner on a daily basis. Don’t assume your partner understand things. Assumptions is the cause of most misunderstanding and conflicts. Communicate your thoughts, fears, concerns and mood clearly. Make sure you are understood. When you make your partner understand what you are passing through, it will be easy for them to provide support. Regular communication makes partner not just lovers but also best friends.

 
There is nothing perfect in this imperfect world. No one is perfect including you. So stop expecting your partner to be perfect. Stop setting unrealistic expectations and standards for your partner. Accept your partner the way they are. If there is need for improvement, communicate it with love. Nothing transforms people faster than love. Complaining and nagging hardly works.

 
Don’t avoid arguments and misunderstanding by all cost in your relationship. Most relationships without little arguments and fights here and there, are usually full of secrets and partners who don’t really care. Give room for quarrels and misunderstanding, it enables you to know each other better. Though they must be handle maturely and you must put the relationship first ahead of individual’s ego.

 
Misunderstanding and conflicts are normal occurrence when two people from different backgrounds, exposure and temperament come together as one in a relationship. Expect and understand this so you don’t think you two have fall out of love when it starts happening. Create a harmless way to resolve the misunderstanding and conflicts that will inevitably happen in your relationship.You must resolved never to attack each other physically or use deregatory language against each other during quarrels. Such resolution helps a great deal. When you are determined to resolve issues and not dissolve your relationship. It will strengthen the bond between you and your partner.

 
Respect is very important in a relationship if you want it to be a healthy, loving and lasting one. You must respect your partner’s opinion, space and person- who they are. Respect should never be a one sided affair. It should not be genderly based. Respect should be reciprocated. Give your partner respect and expect it in return.