Category: Articles

The Right Mindset Towards Misunderstanding In A Relationship

Misunderstanding is a normal occurence between partners due to differences in personality, temperament, upbringing, exposure and many other factors.

Misunderstanding come and go, and it should never affect your loyalty to your partner.

Having a misunderstanding with your partner is not a genuine excuse to start giving undue attention to other men or women.

If you value your relationship, whenever there is a misunderstanding your thinking should be focus on resolving the issue and at the same time availing it to understand your partner better.

Let your loyalty to your partner be rigid not flexible.

Be loyal to your partner till the relationship is over.

Loyalty brings untold respect and admiration. It is immaturity to flirt with the opposite sex in the presence of your partner.

Stop trying to make your partner feel jealous by flirting with the opposite sex especially when there is a misunderstanding between the two of you.

When you do that you are actually taking undue advantage of your partner’s emotion just because you know he/she loves you dearly.

If care is not taken that might destroy the relationship.

Whenever there is an issue in your relationship you must learn to face it heads on.

This is the only way to find a lasting solution to any problem that may arise in your relationship.

Doing otherwise is usually counter-productive.

Ignoring a problem don’t make it go away, it only make it get worse/bigger.

It is also immaturity to keep malice with your partner no matter the situation.

Don’t keep whatever is hurting you in your relationship to yourself. Speak out.

Don’t be bullied or threaten or blackmail to silence/submission in your relationship.

If you and your partner can’t learn to manage your issues and misunderstanding peacefully and live with each other happily in spite of them, then it is pointless to continue to remain in such a relationship.
When there is an issue in your relationship, find a way to resolve it amicably and continue loving each other.

If the problem is beyond remedy, it is better to go your separate way than to continue to remain together but embitter towards each other. This is because bitterness can make people do unreasonable things to the person they claimed to love.

Naturally love forgives and forgets wrongdoing.

However, if the offence is too much for your heart to forgive and mind to forget it is better to walk out of the relationship.

It is unlawful and immaturity to think of hurting or harming your partner irrespective of what they did wrong.

I have heard too many stories of man/woman murdering their partner.

The question i keep asking myself is “for what reason?”.

Why would you want to put yourself in a situation where you might end up spending the rest of your life in jail over something that is totally preventable.

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

If it is not making you happier and adding value to your life then it is not worth losing your sleep and peace of mind over.

If it is not working, it is okay to let it go.

Though it is advisable to give it your best shots before calling it quit.

It is important to know when to keep trying and when to walk away in a relationship.

Adopt the right mindset towards misunderstanding in a relationship.

Don’t ignore any issue bothering your mind.

If you don’t tackle it, it wouldn’t go away by itself. It will continue to hunt and hurt you until you face it and say enough is enough.

Learn to forgive your partner wholeheartedly.

Don’t keep record of your partner’s wrongdoing.

Don’t keep malice with your partner.

Don’t go to bed with anger and bitterness in your heart against your partner.

When you feel offended let your partner know by talking about it, don’t assume he/she should know.

Don’t give up on your relationship over little quarrel or misunderstanding.
Finally, if it is not working, you are free to walk out of it. Remember, it is a free world.

Never get violent against your partner.

You can never predict what a single violent act can result to in an agitated situation.

A single violent act can put you behind bars for the rest of your life.

It is always better to walk away.

Lets say NO to domestic violence in marriages.

Say NO to unhealthy or toxic relationship as a single.

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Signs That Will Tell If He/She Is Your Soulmate: 10 Habits Of A Soulmate

A Soulmate is a person that loves you truly and have decided to stick with you through thick and thin.

Relationship is sweeter and animated when you find your soulmate.

Most people have found their soulmate but unknowingly let him/her go because they have unrealistic idea of a soulmate.

A soulmate is a human just like you.

Imperfect and mundane just like you.

But if you observe your relationship with them, you will notice that there is something unique about them.

They might not have answers to all your problems but they are willing to find the answers with you.

They complete and compliment you.

They love you the way you have never been love before.

They bring you comfort, peace of mind and happiness.

They encourage you to launch out and be your best possible.

They simply bring something new to your life.

So how will you know if he/she is your soulmate?

Here are signs that will help you know if he/she is your soulmate.

The 10 habits of a soulmate……

 

1. He/she makes you happy: Happiness is a personal decision. It must stem from within. Truth must be told, people in our lives also contribute largely to our happiness or sadness. Your partner have great influence on your mood.

Their actions/words can either make you happy or sad. A soulmate will make deliberate effort to ensure you are happy always and will never feel unconcern when you are sad.

 

2. He/she listens to you: Everyone is occupied by his/her own problem no matter how small it is.

Everyone is busy with their lives.

Most people don’t take time to listen to others to know exactly what they are passing through when something sensitive is been discuss with them.

A soulmate will never be too busy to listen to you.

He/she will eagerly put aside every other thing they are doing just to listen to you no matter what you have to say.

This is because he/she genuinely care about what you have to say and desire to know what you are going through.

A soulmate listen to understand not to jump to conclusion or judge you.

 

3. He/she challenges you: A soulmate knows your potential through constant interraction with you this make them to push and challenge to reach your full potential.

He/she finds joy in you achieving more and becoming your best possible.

He/she will never allow you to settle for mediocrity in whatever you set out to do.

A soulmate simply bring out the best in you.

 

4. He/she encourages you: Relationship is suppose to give us an assurance that no matter what happens even if the whole world go against us, there will always be one person to support and encourage us- our partner.

That is exactly what soulmate does.

A soulmate will always be your number one cheerleader.

 

5. He/she accept you: A soulmate will accept you for who you are without making you feel inadequate in anyway whatsoever.

A soulmate will love and accept you unconditionally, flaws and all.

 

6. He/she will never desert you: A soulmate is not someone that stays with you only when things are easy and rosy.

A soulmate will stay with you through thin and thick.

He/she will not desert you just because you are passing through a difficult times.

Instead of deserting you, a soulmate will stick around and help you overcome your challenges and difficulties.

 

7. He/she cherish you: To cherish is to love dearly. A soulmate will cherish you and appreciate your presence in his/her life.

What you cherish, you can’t take for granted. A soulmate will never take you for granted no matter how long you have been together.

He/she will instead cherish you more as the years goes by.

A soulmate will not get tired of you or lose respect for you just because you have been together for long. A soulmate will never stop loving you even when he/she is mad at you.

And he/she can not stay mad at you for long.

 

8. He/she finds it easy to appease you: A soulmate will value your happiness and peace of mind.

He/she understands that his/her actions can affects you directly or indirectly hence they are careful not to do things that will hurt your feelings.

Whenever he/she mistakenly hurt your feelings he/she will not find it difficult to say sorry to you.

He/she understand that apologizing when you are wrong is maturity and evidence that you value your partner’s feelings.

A soulmate doesn’t place his ego above his/her relationship or partner’s happiness.

A soulmate will gladly appease you when you angry or unhappy irrespective of who is at fault just to make sure you are happy.

 

9. He/she makes you feel comfortable: A soulmate will ensure you are comfortable around him/her so you don’t see the need to pretend.

A soulmate encourages you to express your true self. He/she will make you feel at ease when you around him/her.

A soulmate will not condemn or look down on you based on your personality type.

 

10. He/she correct and teach you: These days lots of people find joy in criticizing, mocking and judging people publicly when they make mistakes.

Very few people constructively correct and teach. Correction and teaching are acts of love.

A soulmate will correct/teach you so that you can improve in any area you are lagging behind.

A soulmate will not make an open mockery of you no matter your mistakes because he/she understands that shame to one is shame to both partners in a relationship.

Though a soulmate will not support you to indulge in a destructive habits.

A soulmate help you to desist from bad habits that can destroy your life.

He/she assist you to become a better woman or man.

A soulmate will not pressurize you to indulge in bad habits.
Everyone desire a relationship with a touch of paradise. A soulmate will give you that.

A soulmate will bring out the best in you. He/she will encourage and challenge you to be a better person. He/she will bring happiness to your life not sorrow and pain.

A soulmate is not a perfect person but someone committed to adding value to their partner’s life and making sure what they share last forever.

A soulmate is unforgetable, indispensable and irreplaceable.

Are you connected to your spouse on soul level ?

Are you your spouse soulmate?

If you can’t boldly answer yes. Here is your opportunity to improve your relationship.

Practise these 10 habits to be able to connect on a soul level with your partner and become a better partner to your spouse which will ultimately make your relationship a better one -paradise on earth.

What Do You Want In A Relationship?

confusedThe aim of most serious relationship is to end in marriage.

Almost everyone desire to enjoy a happy married life.

However, desire, hope, wishes or prayers alone does not guarantee a happy married life.

A happy married life is an ultimate accomplishment when it comes to relationship for most people.

Success in any sphere of life requires extra effort and same can be said for relationships.

A happy married life must be work towards from the word go.

It takes knowing what you really want and not settling for less.

It also takes time, unconditional love, commitment, faithfulness, forgiveness, sacrifice, self displine, determination, emotional maturity among others.

These requirements must be streaming from both partners before a relationship can be able to stand the test of time and still remain healthy and loving.
Relationship and marriages fail most times because people don’t know exactly what they want.

If you want to be truly happy in your relationship you must clearly define exactly what you want in a relationship.

Talking about what you want in a relationship, am not referring to the superficial qualities like physical attractiveness, educational, social and financial status.

It is quite sad that most people over focus on them while ignoring things that are more important when it comes to chosing a partner.

Hold on for a second before you get me wrong.

I am not saying physical attraction, financial capability, social and academic status are not important.

They are definitely important.

It is cool to be with someone you can flaunt because of their good look.

Money makes love sweeter. Infact finance is the fuel for romance. Social and educational status makes it easy to connect on an intellectual level in a relationship.
Many relationships and marriages still failed inspite of having all these qualities present in their spouses.

Why so?

There are many people in relationship or marriage with a very good looking partner who is financially okay and also share similar academic and social status yet they are not happy together.

So what is the missing link in their relationship?

It is important to know the really important things when it comes to relationship.

The important thing to do before venturing into a love affair is to first sit down and highlight what you really want in a relationship.

You should define the kind of person you want.

You should clearly state out the qualities you desire in a mate.

For instance, you can say you want a person that is confident, caring, non-violent, understanding, friendly, open minded, respectful, law abiding among others.

You must also clearly define how you will be treated and what you will not endure or tolerate in a relationship.

Without a concrete resolution on what you want in a relationship you will continue to settle for just any person that comes your way which will make it pretty difficult to enjoy a loving and healthy relationship needless to mention a happy married life.
Relationship is beyond just having a good looking, educated or financially buoyant partner.

You also need someone that will treat well.

You need someone that will show you unconditional love.

You need someone that will let you know you mean the world to him/her.

You need someone that will make you feel special and on top of the world.

You need someone that is afraid to lose you.

You need someone that will dry away your tears and make deliberate effort to make you happy on a consistent basis without a reason.

You need someone that will accept, value and respect you for who you are.

You need someone that is committed to helping you to be your best possible in every sphere of life.

You need someone you don’t have to beg or compete for his/her attention and affection.

You need someone who is proud to have you and wouldn’t hesitate to show you off to his friends and family.

My aim of writing this article is to help you enjoy your relationship by knowing exacting what you want as an individual when it comes to your relationship goals.

So what do you want in a relationship?

Do you know what your heart, soul and body want in terms of relationship?

Faithfulness Is Romantic, Sweet And Safe

Faithfulness to one partner is not boring contrary to popular opinion among cheats or unfaithful partners.

A scholar once said we are pluralistic in nature, hence the reason most people find it difficult to remain faithful to one partner.

This might not be completely true but to a certain degree it is the truth for some people because they have never been completely faithful to a single partner since they have venture into the world of relationship.

I will be honest with you, we are humans, imperfect being. We goof often.

We are constantly striving to maintain a balance between two forces (Good and bad forces) pulling us towards theirselves.

Hence, the numerous temptation we face as human.

However, facing numerous temptation is not a justification to do what is not right.

It is important to stress that as a human we are also equiped with the capacity and strong-will to chose to do the right thing inspite of mounting temptation.

A matured person understands that to every action there is equal and opposite reaction.

In other words, every single action carries a consequence.

A matured person often consider the consequence of his/her action before making decision to either take it or not.

Relationship and marriages are meant for matured people.

My advice for any person who is searching for a partner for serious relationship or marriage is that you should make maturity as your number one criterion.

It is important state that age is not synonymous with maturity.

A matured person understands that once you are in a relationship your action will affect your partner either positively or negatively.

This knowledge should influence our decision in relationship.

Relationship has to do with put your partner’s feeling into consideration before doing anything that will directly or indirectly affect him/her.

A matured man will stay faithful to a single woman.

A real man understands that his manliness is not measure by the number of women he keeps as his sexual partners.

A matured woman will also stay faithful to one man.

A real woman doesn’t share her body with numerous men.

Her sense of importance, attractiveness and class are not dependent on the number of men she keeps or sleep with.

Relationship is sweet when there is love.

Love is sweet and waxes stronger day by day when there is trust.

Guess what, honesty and faithfulness beget and retain trust. If you want to enjoy your life and relationship find someone you love and be faithful to him/her.

Then begin to build a great life and relationship together as a team.

Faithfulness is number one quality most people desire in a partner.

Don’t demand what you can’t give. If you want a faithful partner, you must be determine to be one yourself.

Faithfulness is never boring.

Faithfulness is sweet, romantic and possible though it require self control and discipline.

Faithfulness helps protect you from contacting sexually transmitted diseases.

Lastly, sex get better and sweeter with the same partner with time not boring.

So let go of the myth that claim you will get bored, tired or satiated when you keep having sex with the same person for a long period.

It’s a lie.

Faithfulness to one partner in a relationship and marriage is not boring and impossible.

It is possible with determination and self control.

It is sweet and romantic in the sense that it helps you to concentrate your attention and affection on your partner alone which will help you know each other better and be able to build stronger bond necessary to keep aflame the fire of love and romance in the relationship.

It also enhance peace of mind.

Staying faithful to your partner is one of the best decision you will ever make in life. Thank you

Love Knows No Boundary

Love is beautiful, ethereal and divine.

It has no boundary.

Love is not dependent on race, colour, religion or ethnicity.

Where there is love age, distance, weight and height are just numbers.

Love supercedes religion and ethnicity.

Love don’t wait for permission before it happens.

We don’t find love, love finds us.

Never let go of love because of differences in religion, tribe, educational status, financial status, social class or race.

Let love always lead the way.

Love doesn’t harm.

It doesn’t manipulate or take undue advantage.

It is not selfish.

Love abides till death separate.

Love is never one sided.

Love don’t just take, it also give back.

Love is the essense of life.

Love make everyone of us come alive.

Love breeds trust.

Love gives hope, joy and untold happiness.

Love is life.

Life is meaningless and boring without love.

Love is our soft spot.

Love is never a weakness but strength.

Love is not for the feeble minded.

It takes courage to fall in love and give your heart away to a stranger without the certainty that it will not be broken into pieces.

Love accentuate our humanity.

Love bring out the best in us.

Love is tender, caring, understanding, accommodating and forgiving.

Love is medicinal to the heart that carries it.

Without love humanity is bound for self destruction.

Don’t ever hate love or doubt its existence.

Don’t ever give up on love.

If you are yet to find love, keep searching it will find you soon.

If you have found love, cherish it and never take it for granted or let go.

Love is beautiful and it will make your life bright and beautiful.

Don’t fall in love with the wrong person.

A person that will abuse, manipulate or mistreat you.

Watch out for the character of your potential partner because it matters in the long run.

Make sure you wait for the right person. A person that will cherish, value and celebrate you.

What You Allow: Will Continue

There is no perfect relationship anywhere.

So don’t expect to have a perfect relationship but healthy and loving relationship is a realistic and attainable goal.

Every relationship has its own challenges but there are some issues that are not part of the challenges expected of a healthy relationship. Once they start showing up in your relationship then you should know that there is a fire on the mountain. Some of these issues include habitual cheating, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional manipulation, financial exploitation among others.

However, lot of people faces these issues and have gotten accustom to it to the extent of seeing it as a normal part of a relationship which is totally unhealthy.

Virtually, all relationship start on a sweet, loving and romantic note until one of the partners start showing their true colour -character.

If all relationships continues the way they begin, most relationships will never come to an end.
People usually start showing their true colour in relationships when they notice that their partner has become emotionally attached to them or after they have gotten what they want.

It is important to pay attention when your people start acting “who they truly are”. Don’t ever make a mistake of re-painting people when they show you their true colour by making excuses for them because of your emotional attachment to them.

It is better to end a relationship when your partner start showing his or her true colour before you get deeply involved in the quagmire over the time and you wind up in a complicated relationship.

Some people believe that what will be, will be but i don’t think it is wise to totally depend on such philosophy when it comes to relationship.

My belief is you meet your partner by fate and you fell in love by chance but your relationship will only work out by choice- the decisions you and your partner make with respect to your relationship. This is due to the fact that relationship requires effort if it will stand the test of time and be a healthy one.
However, it takes two to tangle. Only you cannot make your relationship healthy, loving and lasting. You and your partner must be actively involved in building your relationship to be healthy, loving and lasting.

In the course of building your relationship a lot of things will happen both the good and the bad. For the good stuff, you must encourage, appreciate and reciprocate if you want it to continue. For the bad stuff, you must address if you want it to stop.
Many people don’t want to be perceived as a nag hence they chose to keep quiet when they notice something is not right in their relationship.

The problem is ignoring a bad situation doesn’t make it disappear as many may have wanted.

It usually make situation worse.

The only way to arrest a bad situation is to address it immediately it rises.

Some people ignore problem because of the fear of what the outcome will be if they address it.

There are two possibilities when you decide to address an issue bothering you in your relationship as a result of your partner’s behaviour. The first is, the situation maybe remedy and your relationship will get better. The second is, the situation may get worse and the relationship will come to an end. Both outcome are very important. The first one indicate that your partner truly love and value you and the relationship while the second indicate otherwise.

Atimes you must be willing to let go before you can make some people want to change for good and stop taking you for granted.

Don’t be afraid of losing a partner that is causing you to continually lose your happiness and peace of mind.

Don’t allow your fear for loneliness make you remain in a relationship that continuously bring you sadness and sorrow.

Don’t allow an abusive relationship make you lose your sanity or send you to an early grave.
Whenever you notice something is not right in your relationship or you caught your partner doing what is not right, it is important to address the situation before it get out of hand.

Beyonce and Cardi B once caught their partner Jay Z and Offset respectively cheating. They address the issue instead of pretending it doesn’t happen. They both made it clear to their partner that they would not tolerate a cheating partner. Beyonce warning for Jay Z gave rise to her song “Lemonade”. Cardi B likewise sang ” Be Careful” to warn her unfaithful fiance, Offset of Migos.
The bottomline is this:

What you continue to keep quiet about and endure will continue to happen in your relationship.

If you are not happy with the situation in your relationship be courageous enough to speak to your partner about it, don’t die in silence.

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

If it is not working and making you happier than you can be on your own let your partner know what he or she is not doing right. Demand a change, if they refuse to change for better it is okay if you work out of the relationship.

Don’t allow any relationship make you feel you deserve to be treated as a second fiddle.

Don’t allow anyone make you feel you deserve to be physically, mentally, sexually or emotionally abuse.

Don’t lose your dignity and self-worth while trying to hold on to a relationship with someone who doesn’t even care about your feelings or happiness.

If you don’t want it to continue, demand a change or walk away. If you tolerate it, it will continue.

Feminism Is Not Hatred For Men: All Men Are Not Scum

Feminism is not hatred for all men based on your experience with few men. If you have been treated badly by some men, blaim it on your wrong choice of men not on the male gender as a whole.

All men can not be seen as a cheat.

All men are not the same.

Never generalize because all generalization is false.

If you think or believe all men are scum, it is because of your experience with few men who are scumbags.

Which means you actually made a mistake of choosing those few scumbag instead of the good men around you for reasons known or unknown to you.
Hating all men will not change anything or do you any good.

Hatred eat up the heart that holds it.

Hatred for men because of your past experience with some men who are scum will only make your life fill with bitterness, it would never improve your life or make it better.

Instead of hating all men because you were not treated well by the ones you have been with, it’s better you take time to evaluate the qualities you are attracted to in men or the kind of men who you have always been having in your life.

Obviously, if you have been attracting the wrong kind of men, changing your choice of men will be the best thing to do instead of hating all men including those who don’t even know you exist.

Take your time to ascertain the qualities of a man before you give him your heart and be head over heel for him.

You should know that there are good men and there are bad men, just like there are good and bad women.

You just need to find the good ones.

If you discovered you are always moving from one unhealthy or abusive relationship to another, do not because of that assumed that all men are scum.

However, It is okay if you concluded that all the men you have been with are nothing but scum based on how you were treated by them.

The solution to your relationship problem is not calling all men scum but changing the kind of men you roll with.

Don’t focus on the problem rather direct your energy on the solution.

Feminism is not hatred for men but a strong belief in equal right and opportunity for all irrespective of the gender.

It means any girl/woman can achieve what any boy/man can achieve or even more.

It means as woman you don’t have to sleep with men before you can takecare of yourself.

It means a woman should not be reduced to just a sex object or baby making machine.

It means as a woman you should not allow any man to manipulate, abuse, maltreat or violate your basic human right all in the name of a relationship or marriage.

It means you can be financially independent. Your gender does not put a limitation on your potential or dreams.

Feminism does not means you should drink, smoke and party hard like guys do.

It means you should give any guy a run for his money.

It means you should strive to be better financially, intellectually, academically, social-relevance wise and in every area just like a man or even better.

Feminism is a movement for freedom for all women all over the world.

However, freedom is not the right to do what you like but what is right.

Set yourself free from any abusive or unhealthy relationship.

Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated, abused, used and dump by men.

Know your worth as a woman. Set standards for yourself.

Be a woman with dignity.

Let it be clear you will not be disrespected in a relationship.

Settle only for men who respect, appreciate, love and treats you well.

Decide to only be with a man that will challenge you to be a better person and support your dream and career.

Don’t settle for just any type of relationship.

If it is not making you happier and better than you can be on your own then it is not worth your precious time and effort.

Don’t hate all men for what few bad men did to you.

Rather focus on finding and spending time with men with good qualities.