Your Vibe Attract Your Tribe

Every individual ooze an aura that gives people impression about the kind of person they are.

This aura is also called vibe.

We all give out vibes and this vibe determines the kind of people- tribe, who are attracted to us and how we are treated by people. Our vibe is dependent on factors like our upbringing and past relationships.

For instance, people who were not shown unconditional love during childhood might have a problem with their self esteem and self perception when they become an adult.

Low self esteem will make you second guess yourself.

Low self esteem will make you feel you are not good enough.

The deeply rooted belief that you are not good enough will permeate through your body language, gesture, expression on your face and everything about you.

This sends a wrong message to people around you who will react and treat you accordingly.

People who were repeatedly abuse physically or emotionally during their childhood usually end up getting attracted to partners who physically or emotionally abuse them as an adult. They are so used to abuse to the extent that they sees it as nothing bad or abnornal.

My point is your childhood experience and past relationships can conditioned your mind to accept abnornalities in relationships as your norms.

So what can you do to make a positive change?

The solution is to take time to re-evaluate your life and relationship everyone once in a while.

Take time to identify what is working and what is not.

You can not continue to do the same thing over and over yet expect a different result.

You can not continue to give out the same vibe which attract the same tribe(people) yet expect to experience a different relationship result/experience.

You must ensure you have the right mindset and beliefs about relationship and life.

Never allow your childhood experience and past abusive relationships color your view about relationship in a negative way.

Don’t let your past keep you captive.

Re-define yourself and your perspective about relationship.

Don’t just settle for just any kind of relationship.

Being physically or emotionally abuse in a relationship is an abnormality, don’t ever accept it as your own norm.

Cheating is not normal in a healthy relationship, don’t settle for partners that are habitual cheaters.

It’s better to be alone and be happy than to be in a relationship that constantly cause you tears, pain and hurt.

Learn to love yourself and cease to spend time with people who continuously make you believe you are not good enough.

You are special, unique, amazing, wonderful and lovable.

Negative opinions of people about you should not be your reality. Create your own reality.

Adopt a positive mindset about life and relationship.

Set boundary for people. Don’t allow people to take you for granted or treat you badly. Learn to walk away from negative people and unhealthy relationships.

Build up your self-confidence. Respect and treat yourself very well.

You are good enough.

Break free from vicious circle of abusive and unhealthy relationships.

Love yourself unconditionally and keep company of people genuinely love you and values you.

Finally, be conscious of the vibe you give out. Ensure you are giving out positive vibes so as to attract positive people(tribe).

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7 Mistakes You Must Avoid If You Want To Be A Wife Material- A Lady Worth Keeping Forever.

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Lots of ladies enter into relationship with the hope of getting the ring but oftentimes things don’t turn out as expected. This usually make ladies assess themselves to know if they are qualify to be tag a wife material or not.

One thing i want all ladies out there to know is that it is not the man that determines if you are worth keeping(a wife material) or playing, it’s you.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Relationship can be liken to a game. It has a rule and if you don’t know the rules you can’t win. You will be played like a fool. For you to win in any game you must understand the rules and code of the game.

Some ladies are being played by men simply because they don’t know the rules men play by. You can’t control how your opponent play but you have complete control over how you play.

A wise player wouldn’t worry too much about the other player, instead she will focus on mastering the game.

In a similar vein, as a lady you don’t have control over the intention of a guy towards you but you have total control over the impression you make on guys. You don’t determine if a guy will chose to be a player or keeper but you determine if you are worth being keep by a keeper.

In other words, you don’t have power to make a guy stay forever but you have power over portraying yourself as someone worth staying with forever.

So lets discuss the rules you must play by so that any man will see you as the type of lady to be kept (wife material).

We shall talk about what you need to control and master to avoid being played by players and prove you are worth being kept by a keeper.

The following are some mistakes ladies make which give them away cheaply and make them fall victim to players and make keepers think twice about keeping them.

 
1. Giving sex before establishing a serious relationship: You should know that no guy will put in the extra effort or go the extra mile to prove his love for you if what he is looking for is already given to him as freebies.

Never make a mistake of putting yourself in a situation where you are forced to ask “what are we?” after going down with each other. The question “what are we?” must first be settled before anything intimate.

 
2. Going with the flow: Never go with the flow if you don’t want to end up wasting your time. Am not saying you should force things. What am saying is be sure of what you have. Don’t guess, be sure.

Is it something serious with future prospect or just something for the moment.

Stop giving a guy a benefit of doubt when all he does is to make you doubt your position in his life while he is the only one enjoying the benefit. Don’t let any guy take undue advantage of you and also waste your precious time by putting you on a “long thing”.

 
3. Being moderate/modest: Don’t dress in a way that make guys conclude you are a hoe. Dress and conduct yourself exactly the way you will want people to perceive and address you.

 
4. Thinking all it takes to keep a man is good love making skills: That is very important though but you must raise your game above that.

Prove you are someone he can run to for sound advice. Don’t just bring your body to the relationship but also bring your mind. Make sure you are not bringing a dull mind though.

 
5. Expecting a man/relationship to be a jackpot to the good life: Relationship is not a source of income.

Men are not your gateway out of poverty except you want to turn yourself to a whore.

The best thing to do is to make you own money. Have plan for your life. Build a career for yourself. Be a lady that want a guy in her life not the one that need a man to survive.

 
6. Keeping more than one relationship at a time: A man that will be faithful and loyal to you for a lifetime will definitely want to be sure you are capable of same feat before taking you more serious and worthy of being kept forever.

Many guys will rather settle down for a lady that is not so beautiful but faithful and loyal over a very beautiful lady that find it difficult to be loyal and faithful for whatsoever reason. Be the faithful and loyal lady that any man will gladly want to make his wife without the fear of unfaithfulness and promiscusity.

 
7. Tolerating just any kind of thing: Guys want a lady that know her onions. Be a lady with dignity and self respect. Always hold your head up high. Carry yourself with confidence. Don’t allow any guy to disrespect you. Have rule and standard.

Set a limit or boundary for people concerning your private life and behaviours you will tolerate and reject. You should that what you tolerate teaches people how to treat you.
Learn the rules and avoid being played around like a novice.

Danger Of Staying Too Long In An Unhealthy Relationship

I once read a story of an eaglet some few years ago that best illustrates the danger of staying too long in an unhealthy relationship.

Here is the story. A hunter saw an eagle’s egg on his way home from a deep forest.

He actually went on a hunt for bush meat but he was unable to kill a single animal.

As a compensation for his wasted time on a futile hunt, he decided to take the egg home.

When he reached home, he put the egg amidst the eggs of one of his laying hens in his backyard.

With time the hen hatched all the eggs under it. The young eagle not knowing better flock with the chicks.

He settled for the low life of a mere chicken. His behavior and expectations were same as the other chicks, unknown to him that he was designed for something better and greater.

Until one faithful afternoon,while picking up worm for lunch, the eaglet saw another young eagle soaring high in the sky. The image of the eaglet in the sky  created a strange stirring and desire within him that is totally different to what he was used to. Suddenly it dawned on the eaglet that he was settling for less than he deserves because he knew that there was no single difference between him and the soaring eaglet.

It was the desire to experience something better and the knowledge that he deserves more than he has been experiencing in the hunter’s backyard that liberated the eaglet and led him to experience the brighter and elevated side of life. The end.
Most of us are like that eaglet because we allow our environment and experience to put a limit on our expectations in life especially in the aspect of our relationship.

Because we have stayed alone for too long, we decided to jump on any person that comes our way asking us for a relationship. Just because we have been used, dumped or jilted in our past relationships and age is no longer on our sides, we start praying to just find someone, anyone that we will get married to, without due consideration about the kind of marriage life we want and what kind person is ideal for us.
Some people have known only unhealthy relationships that they start believing relationships is a waste of time.

Many even start seeing healthy relationship as normal relationships because they have stayed too long in too many unhealthy relationships and they are already acclimated. The danger in this is you soon beginning to get used to being treated badly and as a matter of fact you may start expecting and enjoying it.

You will beginning to lose your self esteem. You might even pick up bad or toxic habit that has the potential to destroy your future healthy relationship.

Unhealthy relationships make you see yourself as someone who doesn’t deserve what she/ he wants or desires.

It makes you think you are not loveable or it’s difficult to love you.

You may start thinking you are meant to always be a second fiddle to your partner because you are used to competing for love and attention.

You might even begin to think it’s okay to beg for love and attention.

It can make a lady feels its normal to be continuously cheated on by her guy.

It can also make a lady feels it is normal to be hit repeatedly by men.
A part of us long for something better.

We want someone that will love us unconditionally and completely.

We want someone that will love and care for us selflessly and endlessly.

This usually happens when we see people who are in love and treating each other well.

The same stirring to go for something better that aroused in the eaglet occur in us.

But we often convinced ourselves that what we long for is not realistic. We assumed that the relationship we are not happy with, is the only realistic thing so we hold on tightly to what is hurting us, that, we are supposed to let go because of the fear of being alone.

We allow the fear of being alone to prevent us from experiencing something better by letting go of a toxic relationship to create room for a loving and healthy relationship.

Instead of doing the needful we would rather choose to be hopeful that our partner will one day turn a new leaf and start treating us better.

Atimes we even start lowering our standard and expectations concerning our relationship.

This usually happened unconsciously.

The adserve effect of unhealthy relationship is too numerous for this article to exhaust.

The best thing to do is to move out of unhealthy relationship. It is better to be alone than to be in a toxic relationship.

My first aim of writing this piece is to let you know the danger of staying too long in an unhealthy relationship.

Secondly to remind you of what you deserves as a human being.

You deserve the following:
1. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t leave you guessing where you stand with them.
2. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you feel like you are not good enough for them.
3. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you feel crazy for wanting to spend more time with them.
4. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you compete or fight for their love, care and attention.
5. You deserve a relationship with someone who finds you amazing and can never get enough of you.
6. You deserve a relationship with someone who thinks you are the best thing that has ever happened to them.
7. You deserve a relationship with someone who makes you feel loved, special and unique: and treats you better than you think you deserve.
8. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t always wait for you to first reach out to them before making effort to talk to you.
9. You deserve a relationship with someone who truly loves you and always put your happiness ahead or equal with their own.
10. You deserve a relationship with someone who will accept you the you are and never used your past to judge you.
11. You deserve a relationship with someone who will support, encourage and bring out the best in you.
Feel free to add yours to the list. The bottom line is don’t waste your time in an unhealthy relationship and you are not crazy for craving for something better in your relationship pursuit.

I hope you find this piece quite helpful.

I really value your feedback.

How To Attract Your Dream Partner: 12 Qualities That Will Help You Get Mr/Mrs Right Quickly

stock-photo-beautiful-woman-in-a-green-dress-chasing-butterflies-on-a-mountain-235774735

Few hundred years ago, there was a gardener who lives in a village named Ilaro in Ogun State, Nigeria. He loves the sight of butterflies in the garden of people around him. He admire the beauty and colourfulness butterflies bring to a garden.

So he started cultivating one for himself but to his uttermost surprise he find it difficult to attract a butterfly into his garden.

This gardener was so worried that he didn’t have butterflies in his garden.

He tried to attract butterflies using different methods but all his efforts was futile.

So he finally decided to seek the advice of a wise man. When he got to the wiseman abode he narrated his ordeal as touching his garden. After listening to what the gardener had to say.

The wise man said “don’t chase the butterfly, mend your garden, let the butterfly come. Chasing the butterfly into your garden will cost lots of time and energy. And if the garden lacks what will attract and keep the butterfly in the garden your efforts will not yield a desirable result”.

This, I think, is a great analogy for the right approach to finding Mr/Mrs right for ourselves.

In the light of the analogy, chasing or searching for Mr/ Mrs right when you are not working on yourself to be a Mr/ Mrs right will cost you lot of effort, time and heartbreaks.

This is because we tend to attract people like us in some sort of ways.

This is based on law of attraction.

Instead of focusing too much of your time and energy on the search for Mr/ Mrs right, I believe it is sensible to groom yourself into Mr/ Mrs right that someone somewhere is diligently searching for.

It is important to note that Mr/ Mrs right are also seeking for their own Mr/Mrs right.

Hence, it will be logical to conclude that working on yourself to develop qualities that are admirable and expected of a Mr/ Mrs right will drastically increase your chances of meeting your Mr/ Mrs right sooner than you expected.

We must mend our garden in order to attract the butterfly that will beautify our garden effortlessly. I mean we must work on ourselves so as to be able to attract the right person to our lives.

The person that will help make it more beautiful and better.
So what can you do to increase your chances of meeting the love of your life sooner.

I have taken my time to identify 12 qualities that will help you become more attractive and riveting which will in turn increases your chances of meeting and keeping the special person for life.

I assured you that working on these qualities will be of immerse help to your quest to find the right partner for a lifetime. Let’s begin the journey together :

1. Self Confidence: To be successful in every area of life you need self confidence. Self confidence allows you to give full expression to your uniqueness and personality.

Ladies are attracted to men who have confidence in themselves. Self confidence is attractive.

2. Dress well: It is not a new thing that you will be addressed exactly the way you are dressed. If you dress attractively, people will find you attractive.

Never should you neglect your appearance because it is very important and it determines how people see you. Always dress in a way that you will leave a great impression on the people’s minds about you.

Be moderate though. Be neat, smart and well cultured in the way you dress.

3. Generousity: Everyone loves the cheerful giver. Stinginess is a big turn off. To be generous you don’t have to blow up your budget.

Ladies love generous guys. Generosity makes you appear larger than life.

4. Be Yourself. You are unique and special just the way you are. Everyone has got his/ her own uniqueness, style, personality and strength. Fine yours and give full expression to it.

Don’t try to act like someone else in order to get somebody’s attention. You don’t need it. The best thing is to find someone that will love, accept and appreciate you just the way you are. Be your original self.

5. Get A Life: Make sure you have something going on for yourself. Build a great life that others will find attractive and genuinely want to be a part of.

Find a passion or purpose for your life. Something that will make you grow and learn. Something that will challenge you to keep improving yourself and getting better on a regular basis.

Find something that will make you full of life and enthusiasm. This is a very attractive quality. People will be curious and attracted to you.

6. Maturity: Everyone includes maturity as one of the qualities that is admirable in a partner. You must learn to conduct yourself in a mature manner.

Dress, communicate and relate with others in a mature way.

7. Invest In Yourself: Your greatest asset is your mind. Invest in it through education. Feed your mind with positive stuffs. Your mind influence your thinking and your thinking influence your life.

Develop your mind to be able to hold an intelligent conversation not just gist and gossip.

Try to acquire skills that will add value to your life and get you income. Make yourself an asset not a liability.

8. Treat People Well: Learn to be respectful. Don’t be rude to people. Treat people well no matter who they are.

How you treat people speak volume of who you are. And who you are determines what people tell others about you and the people who you are attracted to. Be good to people so as to attract good people into your life.

9. Don’t Be Shy: You must learn to get out of your shell and meet people.

Be a conversationalist.

Learn how to communicate and interract with people especially strangers. You never can say who will be the special person.

Breaking up your shell and meeting people out there will definitely increase your chances of meeting the love of your life sooner than later. Don’t be shy. You are not born shy.

10. Be Assertive: Always assert yourself. Don’t be intimidated by anyone. Let people know your stand.

Let it be known to people what you will not accept or tolerate. This quality is very attractive both in men and women.

It makes you look strong, bold, confident and on top of your game. It makes it clear that you respect yourself. It will make you attract people that will also respect you and treat you exactly how you wanted.

11. Be Genuinely Interested In Others: Be interested in really wanting to know more about people.

One secret of getting people to be interested in you, is to show them you are interested in them.

Get out of your small self and meet people, you never can tell who will find you amazing and fascinating.

When you show genuine interest in people they will perceive you as an interesting person which is a good thing.

If you are not in a relationship yet go out and meet people but don’t be in a rush to find a romantic partner.

12. Don’t Rush: This is applicable to the ladies. Don’t rush the connection process when you met a new guy.

Trying to rush things will produce a negative result.

Rushing things will make you appear desperate for love and relationship.

Desperation makes you a perfect victim for exploitation and manipulation by some guys.

Take your time but be assertive. Know exactly what you want from the relationship.

If you can’t get what you want there is no need to waste your precious time in the relationship.

The secret of success in any endeavors is to identify the factors necessary for success. After identifying the factors you must successfully separate the ones you have control over and those you can’t control.

What will determine whether you will succeed or not, is your ability to master the factors you have control over.

My point is this, you don’t have control over the butterfly but you do have control over your garden.

You don’t have control over who will be the Mr/Mrs right or the time you will met each other.

However, you have control over making yourself someone’s Mr/ Mrs right. Take control of that.
I hope you find this very helpful and quite informative.

I will love to get feedback from you on this article.

You can follow me on twitter @Seyilovedoctor and Instagram @seyilovedoctor. Thank you.

7 Things Ladies Really Want: Doing This Things Will Make Her Yours Forever

jovem-homem-preocupado-dúvida-confuso-1This will help real men to understand the ladies and treat them better by meeting up with their basic needs.

This will help you to keep your woman forever without the fear of some dude showing up from nowhere to snatch her away from you.

If you can give all of these things to your woman, I assure you that she won’t want to leave you for any man. She will be happy and madly in love with you head over heels.
So what do ladies really want from men. They include :

1. Love: Love is a basic need of all humans. We all want to feel loved. It is a basic emotional need. However there is a significant difference in the emotional make up of men and women.

Women tends to respond more to this need than men. This could be as a result of their relationship with their father while growing up or other factors.

So one sure way of keeping your woman is to feed that emotional need in her.

Shower your lady with plenty of love.

When you leave her with no reason to doubt your unconditional love, she wouldn’t have a reason to look elsewhere in search of it.

Don’t believe in the fallacy that say woman will start misbehaving when you show her how much you love her.

It is only a lady that doesn’t love you that take undue advantage of you when you show her how much she means to you.

2. Attention: Ladies love to get attention from the opposite sex and people in general. Attention makes them feel beautiful, special and value.

Some ladies can go any length just to get attention. This is evident on social media. It is important to know that if you fail to give your woman the attention she needed, she will definitely get it elsewhere.

If you truly love your woman you wouldn’t deprived her of your attention. Pay attention to your lady always by listening to her, observe any changes in her voice or mood.

Know her need before she utter it.

If you give your woman enough attention, attention from other men will not distract her from you and the relationship.

3. Time: Time is a major factor require for the success of a relationship.

Most of the time men are carried away by the need to make ends meet to the detriment of their relationship with their woman.

To have a happy love life you must endeavour to strike a balance between your work and your relationship.

Make sure that you find time for your woman out of your busy schedule.

Let her know she is your number one priority. Don’t ever be too busy to call her or pick her call. Never be too busy to text her back.

Make her know that she is an integral part of your life by making out time for her in your tight schedule.

4. Care: All ladies like caring guy because they love to be pampered. You should pamper your woman if you want her to be yours forever.

Show her that you really care about her everyday in every way possible. Give her advice and guidance when she seems confused.

Calm her when she feels worried and agitated. Fix the meal when she is tired or just to surprise her. Assist her while cooking, cleaning or doing the boring house chores.

Show her you are caring and romantic then you will be her man now and always. She will love you more and never want to leave you.

5. Money: Yes, MONEY! The importance of money in life and relationship can never be over-emphasis.

Money makes life more comfortable and colourful. It has the same effect on relationship. There is no romance without finance.

Money fuels the romance in a relationship.

Provide financial support for your woman. Invest in her dreams and ambition. Give generously to your lady with respect to your financial capability. She knows what you can afford.

A woman that loves you will understand you and not frustrate your life by demanding what you can not afford.

When you take care of her financially according to the capacity of your pocket hardly will she be tempted to abscond with a richer guy.

A good woman will appreciate your effort. Instead of leaving you for a richer dude, she will rather support and pray for you to become financially buoyant.

6. Compliment: Every woman love to be flattered or compliment based on their looks, dress and their ability or talent.

Don’t ever forget to tell your woman, she is beautiful because countless men are already telling her.

Because she loves you, yours will be unique and outstanding.

Give your woman compliment in every way possible every blessed day. Don’t miss an opportunity to tell her how beautiful she is and how lucky you are to have her as your woman.

When she put effort to prepare a meal, give her praises for the effort and taste of the food.

The greatest of the compliment is telling her how much you love her. Tell her you love her every blessed day in a million ways.

A sensible lady will never want to leave you because compliment sends a message that you are value and appreciated.

Who doesn’t like the feeling of been valued and appreciated?

7. Commitment: When a woman loves you, she wants your commitment.

She feels relax and at peace when she is sure you take her serious and you are committed to her and the relationship.

Ladies want to know that are committed to them and the relationship. They want to be sure you are loyal, faithful and committed to them.

They want to be sure your mind is made up that she will be the last and final lady in your life.
Ladies I hope I have spoken your mind. Please share with your guy if you agree with me and drop a comment to let know on your take on this post.

Stop Nurturing A Dead Relationship: Signs Of A Dead Relationship

Relationship is like a flower, it can flourish or wither.

Just as a flower requires a lot of watering and nurturing to flourish and blossom in similar vein a relationship requires effort and nurturing if it’s going to work out and last.

Two of the requirements for success in any endeavour are hope and determination.

Hope in the sense that we can’t say for certain how things will turn out in the end but we are expectant that it will be positive.

Determination is what enable us to continue to carry on in the face of challenges and problems when what we would have naturally do is to give up.

In any successful relationship these two elements are readily available.

They are essential for a healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

We must have a positive expectation for the relationship and also mustn’t give up easily at the face of challenges and problems in the course of interacting with each other in the relationship.

However, care must be taken to know the point at which these two factors can begin to work against us in a relationship.

When it is so obvious a relationship can’t work, hope and determination can trap us causing us to stand stock-still in a dead relationship.

Costing us our happiness and chance of experiencing something better else where.

Oftentimes, when a good relationship turn bad. We keep working hard to turn things around. During times like these we failed to realise that there is a tiny borderline between determination and desperation.

Even when it is obvious that the change is irrevocable, we still waste our time and effort trying to fix things.

This maybe due to our emotional attachment and investment in the relationship. Even when our intuition is telling us that the person we once had a great time with has changed and moved on, we still continue to shoulder the burden of restoring things back to how it used to be.

This is the reason why most of us are suffering and enduring pain and heartache in relationships. It is like nurturing a dead relationship.

The problem of nurturing a dead relationship is you will be doing the job of two people.

That is surely overwhelming and exasperating. It takes two to make a relationship work, so don’t ever make a mistake of being the only person trying to make your relationship work.

The moment you observed that you are the only one investing all the time and effort into your relationship, you need to step back to evaluate things.

Pushing forward without evaluating the situation is not determination but desperation.

To experience happiness and inner peace in our relationship we must constantly make conscious effort to evaluate the state of the relationship.

Evaluating our relationship help us to know if the relationship is actually going somewhere.

It also help us to keep things in check and prevent us from doing things out of proportion.

We must take conscious effort to know when a relationship has become dead and there is nothing left to hope for but to move on.

We must pay attention to our actions so as to be able to decipher when our determination to make our relationship work turns to desperation to keep what is no longer serving us.

The problem with staying too long in problematic relationships is it will affect our lives in a numerous way.

A dead or unhealthy relationship might change your outlook on love and relationship in a negative way.

Don’t allow a bad relationship to start thinking true love doesn’t exist or a healthy and loving relationship is a fairy tale.

This is why you need to move on with your life instead of standing stock-still in an unhealthy relationship before it causes more damage to you.

These are some of the signs of a dead relationship.
1. Absence of love. You know the love is not there anymore.
2. You are begging for attention. You should never have to beg for attention.
3. You are being avoided for no just cause. All of all sudden he/ she stop gravitating towards you.
4. He/ she is always busy to pick up your call or call you back. Find it difficult to reply to your text all in the name of being busy yet you see him/ her online.
5. You are lonely yet in a relationship.
6. Your attempt to connect to your is now perceived as a disturbance.
7. He/ she shows affection when you two are together but act strangely, distant and indifference when you are far apart.
8. He/ she doesn’t take you and the relationship that serious as much as you do for him/ her.
9. When you talk about taking the relationship to the next level he/she takes offence without saying anything offensive or wrong.
10. He/ she makes you feel bad for wanting to spend time with him/ her frequently.
Don’t forget a dead relationship is unhealthy and isn’t heading anywhere. Nurturing such is a waste of time and efforts. Holding on to such is not determination but desperation, and having a hopeless hope.

Take back your love life and move on to something better.

Thank you for reading.

You can follow me on twitter @Seyilovedoctor and on instagram @seyilovedoctor.

8 Tips For Finding True Love And Building A Lasting Relationship

stock-photo-two-lovers-couple-look-into-each-others-eyes-in-love-infatuated-460938703 (1)True love is difficult to find these days.

Building a lasting relationship in time when dating has become meaningless can be an herculean task but following the tips below will make your search easier and also equip you with the right knowledge to building a lasting and loving relationship.

1. Don’t look for love. Setting out to look for love is like setting up yourself for alot of heartbreaks.

Oftentimes love find us when we least expected.

So relax your mind. Go out and make friends with the opposite sex and don’t be in a hurry to be in a romantic relationship.

Don’t let people take advantage of your desperation.

2. Take care of yourself. You are the most important person in the world, treat yourself as such.

Look good. Dress well. Invest in your personal growth and development.

Make your life so attractive to the extent that others are riveted and genuinely want to be a part of it.

3. Love yourself enough to decide not to beg for attention or love.

Don’t allow anyone to abuse or manipulate you just because you want to be in a relationship.

Set a high standard for yourself such that you wouldn’t allow any person to treat you badly all in the name of relationship.

Don’t settle for less. Be with only the person that loves and values your person.

4. Stop carrying around the unnecessary baggages from your past relationships.

Let go of what has already gone.

Let go of those hurt and pain you experienced in your past relationship.

Just pick up the lessons and move on completely. Get over your feelings for your ex.

Don’t live in the past. Living in past will hinder you from being fully aware of what is going on around you in the present.

Let go of the past. Live fully in present and have a positive expectation for the future.

5. Work on your mentality. Most time we make wrong generalisation based on a handful bad encounter we had with the opposite sex.

This kind of thinking is absolutely unhealthy and it could probably prevent you from finding true love.

This is because what we think about always and believe have a strange power to influence our reality.

Don’t assume all men cheat because your ex cheated repeatedly on you before the relationship eventually ended.

Don’t ever assume all ladies are overly materialistic just because your ex left you for a richer guy.

Don’t judge everyone as bad based on few bad folks you have been with. There are lots of good people out there.

Believe so and it will become your reality soon.

6. Be open minded. Don’t expect love to come from a certain place or race. Love has no boundary.

Don’t be rigid minded when it comes to physical qualities.

Love has nothing to do with height, age, stature, religion or ethnicity.

Focusing too much on physical qualities may cause you to lose a chance of meeting a true lover.

Physical quality is ephemeral and fleeting.

Rather focus on ethereal and lasting qualities like good heart, good character, smart brain among others.

Don’t get me wrong am not saying attractive physical quality is not good.

What am saying is don’t over-focus on it to the extent of missing a great person that will love and care for you exactly the way you wanted just because he/she doesn’t met your physical quality benchmark.

7. When you meet someone who is interested in you.

Be calm and take things slow.

Make sure you are not rushing things.

Take time to know the person. So as not to fall in love with the wrong person.

Many single ladies have fall victim of this. They meet a guy and fail to find out enough information about the person but just fall in love with the man only to discovered that he is a married man with kids.

It is better to be left because you are too inquisitive than to be used and dumped because you failed to do your homework on knowing more about the person you just meet before getting too involved.

8. Don’t spoil it when you find it. Most time when we eventually find that special person that truly loves and cares about us, over time we forget all the pain, heartache and heartbreak we had encountered before finding true love.

Sooner or later we started taking things for granted. And start doing exactly the things that destroyed our past relationships.

My point is be careful not to use the bad habits you learned from your past relationships to destroy the new one.

Try to unlearn whatever bad habits you must have picked up from your past failed relationships.

learn to keep the fire of the love in your new relationship aflame. Love and respect your lover and never take them for granted.
I hope this is helpful to all my readers across the globe. I appreciate you all.

This is written in response to the request of one of my followers. If you have learned one or two tips from this blog please tell your friends about this blog.

Thank you for your time.