Stop Nurturing A Dead Relationship: Signs Of A Dead Relationship

Relationship is like a flower, it can flourish or wither.

Just as a flower requires a lot of watering and nurturing to flourish and blossom in similar vein a relationship requires effort and nurturing if it’s going to work out and last.

Two of the requirements for success in any endeavour are hope and determination.

Hope in the sense that we can’t say for certain how things will turn out in the end but we are expectant that it will be positive.

Determination is what enable us to continue to carry on in the face of challenges and problems when what we would have naturally do is to give up.

In any successful relationship these two elements are readily available.

They are essential for a healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

We must have a positive expectation for the relationship and also mustn’t give up easily at the face of challenges and problems in the course of interacting with each other in the relationship.

However, care must be taken to know the point at which these two factors can begin to work against us in a relationship.

When it is so obvious a relationship can’t work, hope and determination can trap us causing us to stand stock-still in a dead relationship.

Costing us our happiness and chance of experiencing something better else where.

Oftentimes, when a good relationship turn bad. We keep working hard to turn things around. During times like these we failed to realise that there is a tiny borderline between determination and desperation.

Even when it is obvious that the change is irrevocable, we still waste our time and effort trying to fix things.

This maybe due to our emotional attachment and investment in the relationship. Even when our intuition is telling us that the person we once had a great time with has changed and moved on, we still continue to shoulder the burden of restoring things back to how it used to be.

This is the reason why most of us are suffering and enduring pain and heartache in relationships. It is like nurturing a dead relationship.

The problem of nurturing a dead relationship is you will be doing the job of two people.

That is surely overwhelming and exasperating. It takes two to make a relationship work, so don’t ever make a mistake of being the only person trying to make your relationship work.

The moment you observed that you are the only one investing all the time and effort into your relationship, you need to step back to evaluate things.

Pushing forward without evaluating the situation is not determination but desperation.

To experience happiness and inner peace in our relationship we must constantly make conscious effort to evaluate the state of the relationship.

Evaluating our relationship help us to know if the relationship is actually going somewhere.

It also help us to keep things in check and prevent us from doing things out of proportion.

We must take conscious effort to know when a relationship has become dead and there is nothing left to hope for but to move on.

We must pay attention to our actions so as to be able to decipher when our determination to make our relationship work turns to desperation to keep what is no longer serving us.

The problem with staying too long in problematic relationships is it will affect our lives in a numerous way.

A dead or unhealthy relationship might change your outlook on love and relationship in a negative way.

Don’t allow a bad relationship to start thinking true love doesn’t exist or a healthy and loving relationship is a fairy tale.

This is why you need to move on with your life instead of standing stock-still in an unhealthy relationship before it causes more damage to you.

These are some of the signs of a dead relationship.
1. Absence of love. You know the love is not there anymore.
2. You are begging for attention. You should never have to beg for attention.
3. You are being avoided for no just cause. All of all sudden he/ she stop gravitating towards you.
4. He/ she is always busy to pick up your call or call you back. Find it difficult to reply to your text all in the name of being busy yet you see him/ her online.
5. You are lonely yet in a relationship.
6. Your attempt to connect to your is now perceived as a disturbance.
7. He/ she shows affection when you two are together but act strangely, distant and indifference when you are far apart.
8. He/ she doesn’t take you and the relationship that serious as much as you do for him/ her.
9. When you talk about taking the relationship to the next level he/she takes offence without saying anything offensive or wrong.
10. He/ she makes you feel bad for wanting to spend time with him/ her frequently.
Don’t forget a dead relationship is unhealthy and isn’t heading anywhere. Nurturing such is a waste of time and efforts. Holding on to such is not determination but desperation, and having a hopeless hope.

Take back your love life and move on to something better.

Thank you for reading.

You can follow me on twitter @Seyilovedoctor and on instagram @seyilovedoctor.

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Perfectly Imperfect

You are perfectly imperfect just for me.

There is nothing more I could have asked for.

You are adorable, special and amazing.

Everything about you seems so unique and beautiful.

You are the perfect definition of beauty.

You are an angel sent from above to make my life a paradise on earth.

You don’t have the perfect body and the most beautiful face yet I wouldn’t trade you for those that have it.

Your beauty is ethereal because it transcend your facial and physical appearance.

You are so caring and loving.

I am very blessed to have you as my love, queen and angel.

You make my world come alive with your smile and love.

Each time you are with me I feel unspeakable and unfathomable joy.

You are my sunshine: because your presence has brighten up my existence.

You are everything I have ever wanted and dream of.

I Want all of you, your flaws, mistakes, smiles, imperfections, everything.

Believe me when I tell you that you are perfectly imperfect just for me.

I love you just the way you are.

Love Doctor’s Advice 004

When you are angry with your lover that is the time to keep quiet or think twice about what you are uttering. Because anger make us want to say something hurtful. You must be careful not to say anything that you will regret later. Words uttered during a fight can do a damage that will be irreparable if you fail to control your tongue. Make it a rule that during a misunderstanding in your relationship that you will attack issues(the cause of the quarrel) not personality(your lover).

 
Do you desire to make your lover happy when he/she does something for you and want them to do more of it. The secret is to lavish them with appreciation no matter how little what they did for you. Most time we make mistake of complaining about something in what they did. Why didn’t you buy this colour? Why didn’t you buy that instead of this? Why didn’t you do it this way? This kind of response discourage people. Learn to give appreciation generously. It gives encouragement and gladdens your lover’s heart. And if you are not satisfied with what they did instead of complaining tactfully suggest what you would have prefer next time they want to do the same thing after you must have shown them genuine appreciation.

 
Every once in a while surprise your lover with a gift for no particular reason. Gift brings down resistance and gladdens the heart of the receiver. The key to a lady’s heart is a gift. Men also love gift. Gift works like magic on all of us. Especially when the gift is coming from the person we love and cherish. We feel loved, appreciated, special and elated when someone special(a lover) get us a gift.

 
Whenever there is a problem in your relationship: Before you start thinking of what your partner did wrong. First figure out what you did to contribute to the problem. When you approach fights and misunderstanding in your relationship in this manner, you wouldn’t stay mad at each other for long. And it will be easy to resolve issue because you won’t be blaming everything on your lover. You will be able to see your own fault and start with your own apology which will make it easy for your partner to accept their fault and apologise too.

 
A Relationship without trust is destined to fail sooner or later. After you have established a heart connection with your partner, the next important thing to is to build up trust between the two of you. I trust you is more powerful than I love you. A cliche says don’t lie to someone that trust you and never trust a person who lies to you. The key to earning someone’s trust is being honest and truthful with them. Make effort to earn the trust of your partner. Trust is the bedrock of a healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

8 Tips For Finding True Love And Building A Lasting Relationship

stock-photo-two-lovers-couple-look-into-each-others-eyes-in-love-infatuated-460938703 (1)True love is difficult to find these days.

Building a lasting relationship in time when dating has become meaningless can be an herculean task but following the tips below will make your search easier and also equip you with the right knowledge to building a lasting and loving relationship.

1. Don’t look for love. Setting out to look for love is like setting up yourself for alot of heartbreaks.

Oftentimes love find us when we least expected.

So relax your mind. Go out and make friends with the opposite sex and don’t be in a hurry to be in a romantic relationship.

Don’t let people take advantage of your desperation.

2. Take care of yourself. You are the most important person in the world, treat yourself as such.

Look good. Dress well. Invest in your personal growth and development.

Make your life so attractive to the extent that others are riveted and genuinely want to be a part of it.

3. Love yourself enough to decide not to beg for attention or love.

Don’t allow anyone to abuse or manipulate you just because you want to be in a relationship.

Set a high standard for yourself such that you wouldn’t allow any person to treat you badly all in the name of relationship.

Don’t settle for less. Be with only the person that loves and values your person.

4. Stop carrying around the unnecessary baggages from your past relationships.

Let go of what has already gone.

Let go of those hurt and pain you experienced in your past relationship.

Just pick up the lessons and move on completely. Get over your feelings for your ex.

Don’t live in the past. Living in past will hinder you from being fully aware of what is going on around you in the present.

Let go of the past. Live fully in present and have a positive expectation for the future.

5. Work on your mentality. Most time we make wrong generalisation based on a handful bad encounter we had with the opposite sex.

This kind of thinking is absolutely unhealthy and it could probably prevent you from finding true love.

This is because what we think about always and believe have a strange power to influence our reality.

Don’t assume all men cheat because your ex cheated repeatedly on you before the relationship eventually ended.

Don’t ever assume all ladies are overly materialistic just because your ex left you for a richer guy.

Don’t judge everyone as bad based on few bad folks you have been with. There are lots of good people out there.

Believe so and it will become your reality soon.

6. Be open minded. Don’t expect love to come from a certain place or race. Love has no boundary.

Don’t be rigid minded when it comes to physical qualities.

Love has nothing to do with height, age, stature, religion or ethnicity.

Focusing too much on physical qualities may cause you to lose a chance of meeting a true lover.

Physical quality is ephemeral and fleeting.

Rather focus on ethereal and lasting qualities like good heart, good character, smart brain among others.

Don’t get me wrong am not saying attractive physical quality is not good.

What am saying is don’t over-focus on it to the extent of missing a great person that will love and care for you exactly the way you wanted just because he/she doesn’t met your physical quality benchmark.

7. When you meet someone who is interested in you.

Be calm and take things slow.

Make sure you are not rushing things.

Take time to know the person. So as not to fall in love with the wrong person.

Many single ladies have fall victim of this. They meet a guy and fail to find out enough information about the person but just fall in love with the man only to discovered that he is a married man with kids.

It is better to be left because you are too inquisitive than to be used and dumped because you failed to do your homework on knowing more about the person you just meet before getting too involved.

8. Don’t spoil it when you find it. Most time when we eventually find that special person that truly loves and cares about us, over time we forget all the pain, heartache and heartbreak we had encountered before finding true love.

Sooner or later we started taking things for granted. And start doing exactly the things that destroyed our past relationships.

My point is be careful not to use the bad habits you learned from your past relationships to destroy the new one.

Try to unlearn whatever bad habits you must have picked up from your past failed relationships.

learn to keep the fire of the love in your new relationship aflame. Love and respect your lover and never take them for granted.
I hope this is helpful to all my readers across the globe. I appreciate you all.

This is written in response to the request of one of my followers. If you have learned one or two tips from this blog please tell your friends about this blog.

Thank you for your time.

When We Fight

When we fight I feel so miserable. I hate it when we fight.

I always desire to hear your sweet voice every single day but when we fight it becomes impossible.

Even when I am angry with you, my heart still loves you so dearly.

When we fight my world turns upside down.

I lose my sleep and peace of mind.

I realise how much you mean to me when we fight.

When you refuse to pick my call and text me back, i feel so lonely and lost in this world.

Though we fight i can not replace you because there is no one else like you.

My life is nothing without you: So I can’t imagine living it without you.

This is my request to you my love, when we fight please can I still talk to you:

Because its the mind that gets angry, the heart still loves and cares.

Love Doctor’s Advice 003

The key to having a healthy and loving relationship is to learn how to accept your fault when you did something wrong without being told: And to be able to apologise without being asked.

 

Don’t ever be intimated by the success of your partner. In a healthy relationship success of one is the success of other. Don’t feel inferior because your partner is more successful than you. Learn to give your support and encouragement to spur your partner to even greater height. If you can do this they will believe deeply that the success they have achieved would not have been possible without your presence in their life. They will give you credit for their successes and you will both enjoy the benefit of the success. Push your lover to become a better person in every aspect of their life.

 

Relationship is about living together not just being together. Living together involves growing, learning, getting better and accomplishing great feats together. This creates stronger bond than just having feelings for each other.

 

Trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Learn to trust but never trust blindly. Make effort to verify the trustworthiness of the person you are trusting. You verify by paying attention to little things they do, say and left unsaid. Verifying prevent you from getting deeply hurt if your partner aim was to deceive and take undue advantage of you through the relationship.

 

Never should you embarrass your lover privately or publicly. As a lover your words carry weight. Don’t say things that will damage their self esteem or hurt their feelings. A relationship is a place where you build each other up not tear down each other. Treat your partner with respect everytime most especially in the public. And they will love and respect you more.

10 Tips For Marital Happiness

stock-photo-cheerful-senior-couple-enjoying-life-163960505 (1)

1. Never forget the feeling you had when you first started dating and eventually agreed to get married to each other.

You must have felt happy, excited and lucky to have him/ her in your life.

Don’t let that feeling fizzle out because of everyday hustle and bustle.

Keep the fire of your love aflame. It is the key to happiness in your marriage.

 

2. Don’t get too familiar with your spouse to the extent that “I love you” will lose its meaning.

That short sentence is very powerful and conveys an important message to the receiver when it is said genuinely.

Make it your habit to always tell your partner that you love them as much as possible.

It serves well to remind them of your love so there won’t be reason to doubt it.

 
3. Never take for granted the little things your spouse do for you on a daily basis.

Don’t allow yourself to slip into that stinking thinking where you start taking for granted what your spouse is doing to make you happy just because you believe its their duty.

When you begin to appreciate every little thing your spouse did for, it will make them happy and feel appreciated.

This will energise them to want to do more. It also encourages them to want to go the extra mile just to make you happy.

 
4. Complain less, and give more of compliments.

It is much easier to notice all the little things that our spouse is not doing right but forgetting about all great and wonderful things they have been doing.

Too much of Complaining kills the morale and happiness in our relationship.

You must learn to be generous with compliments and frugal with complaint.

Focus on every little thing your spouse is doing right and compliment them.

This will encourage them to do more.

Also compliment their look. Make conscious effort to let your spouse know they look great.

Let them know that you admire their physical features.

It boost their confidence and happiness.

 

5. Make time for each other. Go on a special date.

When you are together enjoy each other’s company.

Every once in awhile get rid of all distraction and focus on each other alone.

This will make stronger the bond between two of you.

Let it be clear to your spouse that he/she is your number one priority.

Take a stroll in the park just holding each other’s hand and talking about just anything.

 
6. Sit and make a future plans together.

Set marital and career goals together.

Pursuing and achieving success together will add spices to your love life.

Creating plans together enables a perfect synergy between two of you.

You become team members committed to giving each other the needed support and encouragement for success and greatness.

 
7. Surprise your partner with gifts every once in a while.

Make it your habit to surprise your wife/husband by buying stuff you know they need before saying it.

This will make them happy and feel you really understand and love them.

 
8. Pay attention to their mood. Listen to everything they are saying and listen more to what they left unsaid.

Most time what is left unsaid is more important and key to understanding your lover.

Pay attention to their facial expressions and body language.

They say alot about what is going on in their mind.

Make it clear to your partner that you are committed to making them happy.

They will surely do same for you.

 
9. Don’t be secretive.

Let sincerity and honesty be your watchwords when it comes to dealing with your husband/wife.

Do not hide anything from your partner.

Being unnecessarily secretive can give your partner the impression that you are not being faithful to him/her.

This damages trust and happiness in relationships.

 
10. Be 100% committed, loyal and faithful to your partner.

Isn’t that what we expected from them too.

Anything otherwise hurt and saddens the heart.

Do not cheat on your spouse.

Extra-marital affairs does more harm than good.
Don’t be overwhelm by the long list,you can practice one tip at a time.

This is dedicated to the married couples but also applicable to serious relationship and courtship.

I hope this is very helpful. Please drop your comments, let me know your take.

I wish everyone find happiness within and also in their relationships and marriages.

Thank you for your time.

Follow me on instagram and twitter @seyilovedoctor