I once read a story of an eaglet some few years ago that best illustrates the danger of staying too long in an unhealthy relationship.
Here is the story. A hunter saw an eagle’s egg on his way home from a deep forest.
He actually went on a hunt for bush meat but he was unable to kill a single animal.
As a compensation for his wasted time on a futile hunt, he decided to take the egg home.
When he reached home, he put the egg amidst the eggs of one of his laying hens in his backyard.
With time the hen hatched all the eggs under it. The young eagle not knowing better flock with the chicks.
He settled for the low life of a mere chicken. His behavior and expectations were same as the other chicks, unknown to him that he was designed for something better and greater.
Until one faithful afternoon,while picking up worm for lunch, the eaglet saw another young eagle soaring high in the sky. The image of the eaglet in the sky created a strange stirring and desire within him that is totally different to what he was used to. Suddenly it dawned on the eaglet that he was settling for less than he deserves because he knew that there was no single difference between him and the soaring eaglet.
It was the desire to experience something better and the knowledge that he deserves more than he has been experiencing in the hunter’s backyard that liberated the eaglet and led him to experience the brighter and elevated side of life. The end.
Most of us are like that eaglet because we allow our environment and experience to put a limit on our expectations in life especially in the aspect of our relationship.
Because we have stayed alone for too long, we decided to jump on any person that comes our way asking us for a relationship. Just because we have been used, dumped or jilted in our past relationships and age is no longer on our sides, we start praying to just find someone, anyone that we will get married to, without due consideration about the kind of marriage life we want and what kind person is ideal for us.
Some people have known only unhealthy relationships that they start believing relationships is a waste of time.
Many even start seeing healthy relationship as normal relationships because they have stayed too long in too many unhealthy relationships and they are already acclimated. The danger in this is you soon beginning to get used to being treated badly and as a matter of fact you may start expecting and enjoying it.
You will beginning to lose your self esteem. You might even pick up bad or toxic habit that has the potential to destroy your future healthy relationship.
Unhealthy relationships make you see yourself as someone who doesn’t deserve what she/ he wants or desires.
It makes you think you are not loveable or it’s difficult to love you.
You may start thinking you are meant to always be a second fiddle to your partner because you are used to competing for love and attention.
You might even begin to think it’s okay to beg for love and attention.
It can make a lady feels its normal to be continuously cheated on by her guy.
It can also make a lady feels it is normal to be hit repeatedly by men.
A part of us long for something better.
We want someone that will love us unconditionally and completely.
We want someone that will love and care for us selflessly and endlessly.
This usually happens when we see people who are in love and treating each other well.
The same stirring to go for something better that aroused in the eaglet occur in us.
But we often convinced ourselves that what we long for is not realistic. We assumed that the relationship we are not happy with, is the only realistic thing so we hold on tightly to what is hurting us, that, we are supposed to let go because of the fear of being alone.
We allow the fear of being alone to prevent us from experiencing something better by letting go of a toxic relationship to create room for a loving and healthy relationship.
Instead of doing the needful we would rather choose to be hopeful that our partner will one day turn a new leaf and start treating us better.
Atimes we even start lowering our standard and expectations concerning our relationship.
This usually happened unconsciously.
The adserve effect of unhealthy relationship is too numerous for this article to exhaust.
The best thing to do is to move out of unhealthy relationship. It is better to be alone than to be in a toxic relationship.
My first aim of writing this piece is to let you know the danger of staying too long in an unhealthy relationship.
Secondly to remind you of what you deserves as a human being.
You deserve the following:
1. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t leave you guessing where you stand with them.
2. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you feel like you are not good enough for them.
3. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you feel crazy for wanting to spend more time with them.
4. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you compete or fight for their love, care and attention.
5. You deserve a relationship with someone who finds you amazing and can never get enough of you.
6. You deserve a relationship with someone who thinks you are the best thing that has ever happened to them.
7. You deserve a relationship with someone who makes you feel loved, special and unique: and treats you better than you think you deserve.
8. You deserve a relationship with someone who doesn’t always wait for you to first reach out to them before making effort to talk to you.
9. You deserve a relationship with someone who truly loves you and always put your happiness ahead or equal with their own.
10. You deserve a relationship with someone who will accept you the you are and never used your past to judge you.
11. You deserve a relationship with someone who will support, encourage and bring out the best in you.
Feel free to add yours to the list. The bottom line is don’t waste your time in an unhealthy relationship and you are not crazy for craving for something better in your relationship pursuit.
I hope you find this piece quite helpful.
I really value your feedback.