Love is a beautiful thing when it’s true and appropriately reciprocated between two people who find each other amazing.
Love can also be a hell on earth.
When love goes awry it result to pain,heartache and eventually heartbreak.
Life is nothing without love that is why people are either in love or searching for love.
However, the same love has led many into committing suicide or leading a mediocre life because their lives was derailed by a failed relationship.
If you are lucky to find true love it can be a source of inspiration to achieve something great in life.
On the flip side, if you get yourself on the wrong side of love it can distract you from being the best are you meant to be at any stage in life.
From my observation and interaction with people on relationship issues, being taken for granted is one of the most painful feelings experience in relationships.
We all want to feel important and treated as such. It is a psychological need deeply rooted in everyone of us. Being taken for granted by the one we love really hurt because of this psychological need.
When we are taken for granted by the one we really love, we make conscious effort to change their view about us.
We make effort to convince them to see us as a special and unique person that we are. Most of the time the attempt is futile.
I found out that most time there are some stuff we do that give us up as someone that can be taken for granted.
These are four things that can make people to take us for granted:
1. Lack Of Self Love: Thinking of loving yourself may come off as an act of selfishness but on a closer look it’s not. It is healthy and imperative for building a loving and healthy relationships. Even the Bible says love your neighbour as yourself.
Which means the amount of love you alloted to yourself will determine the amount of love you can give out.
Input determines output. The manner in which you give out love reflect the kind of love you have for yourself. It will also determine the kind of love you get in return.
So if you are not getting the kind of love you want, maybe it is right time for you to assess how much love you have for yourself.
Perhaps it is time for you to put on hold your search for love from others and focus on finding the love that is within.
When you start loving yourself aright then you will be able to attract the kind of person that will love you the exact way you want.
It is a natural law that people will treat you exactly the way you you perceive and project yourself. If you don’t genuinely love yourself it will eventually be known to others irrespective of how you try to cover it up.
Love yourself, treat yourself right and never take yourself for granted. It is just a matter of time before others follow suit.
2. Desperation: Most of us have one time or the other fall victim of this emotion. We want something so badly then we start getting desperate about it.
I always caution against this word whenever my advice is been sought after concerning relationship.
This is because desperation always make matter worse.The moment you started getting desperate to keep someone in your life, the person will start taking you for granted.
Desperation gives you up as a burden choking off your lover’s space or freedom. Desperation makes you act like a pest. There is a need for determination to make a relationship work.
But you must endeavor to differentiating between determination and desperation.
3. Failure To Define What You Want: If you aim at nothing,you will get nothing.
If you don’t know exactly what you want anything will do. Settling for anything is not a good thing. The reason some people are having difficulty in finding true love is because they keep falling in love with a certain type of personality over and over.
Doing the same thing a million times will generate the same set of result a million times, if you know what I mean.
To get a healthy and loving relationship you might need to sit down and draw out exactly what you want. I mean you should have a clear relationship goals.
In addition, you might need to be open to different kind of personalities and physical features. Because in the long run it is happiness and the feeling of been love that matters above any other things.
4. Save-Me Mentality: This can also be called Liability Disposition. This is common among the ladies. They see relationship as a source of income. This kind of thinking makes you cheap. It gives you up as a burden or liability. No man or woman will respect a partner who has turned himself/herself into a burden or liability.
To avoid being taken for granted in a relationship, you need to make yourself an asset to your partner.
Make a deliberate effort to contribute something to the relationship. Don’t go to the table empty handed, bring something valuable to the table.
Naturally a contributor is never taken for granted. Don’t see a relationship as a place to get something for yourself alone. Give something in return.
Work on yourself to become a better person consequently you will become a better lover. This will give you a chance to experience a better love life.
Let the change begins from within. And never allow anyone to take you for granted because you are special.