Author: seyilovedoctor

An advocate of healthy and loving relationships. A love poet. Writer. Advisor.

Love Doctor’s Advice 002

 

  • A healthy relationship is the one that a sorry and smile can bring the situation back to normal after a misunderstanding. A heart that truly loves you can’t be angry with you for long.

 

  • Whenever you experience a bad day always restrain yourself from venting it out on your lover. Put it at the back of your mind that he/she is not the cause. And be aware that it damages relationship. Instead of transferring your aggression to feel better why not share your bad experience with your partner. Your lover’s sympathy will make you feel better than venting out on him/ her.

 

  • Love, care and attention should be given freely in a relationship. Any relationship you have to beg for all of these is very unhealthy for your mental well-being. Love yourself enough to quit.

 

  • Learn to give your support and encouragement to your partner’s dream, ambition, goal and project. Be their number one cheerleader. Be their fortress when they are feeling low and insecure. When you make yourself your lover’s source of inspiration and motivation then you have make yourself irreplaceable in their life.

 

  • Fight, quarrel, argument and misunderstanding are normal in a relationship. Just make sure your feeling of anger doesn’t outweighs the love you have for your partner during turbulent times. Do not let misunderstanding change your feelings for your partner. Then your love will wax stronger and get better day by day.
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Four Signs Of A Complicated Relationship

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Naturally relationship takes effort, time and resources.

Atimes these demands can be overwhelming. Needless to say complicated relationship will be more overwhelming and soul sapping.

What makes a complicated relationship even worse is the fact that you are hopelessly investing into a not definite thing with a desperation to see it work.

There are so many people whose lives have been made a mess just because they got theirselves into a complicated love affair.
Most time its not obvious from the beginning that a relationship will wound up to become a complicated one but there are signals by which you can recognise if a relationship has become a complicated one or not.

The following are the signs to look out for :

 

1. If You Don’t Have Something Definitive: Don’t get it twisted, relationship is not just having someone to call or talk to.

It is not just having someone to share a bed with. Relationship is more than that.

All of that is nothing more than friendship with benefits or better still a complicated affair.

If what you have is not definitive then you actually don’t have anything to hold on to.

A serious relationship should be concrete. You should know exactly where you stand in a relationship. If you don’t clearly know where you stand with your partner in a love affair,this is the right time for you to ask in order to clarify all doubt.

Never should you assume. And take serious the reply you get.

 

2. If You Are Not Genuinely Happy: Though it is often said that one’s happiness should come from within not from others.

However, it can never be over be overemphasis that the people around us have a huge effect on us especially when it comes to our happiness and feelings in general.

This is more glaring if the person is someone we share an intimate relationship with.

So if this person you have chosen as the love of your life does not make any effort to make you happy then you should double check if the status of such relationship is not complicated.

A person who truly loves you and take you serious will naturally want to help you find your own happiness from within and also make conscious effort to make you happy.

 

3. If He/She Does Not Care About Your Feelings: This is a no brainer. These days cheating has become the norms in most relationships.

However, a guy or girl that loves you and take what you share serious will not flauntly cheat on you if he or she cheat at all.

On the contrary, a guy or lady that does not take you serious will do all sorts of things without considering if it will hurt your feelings or not.

 

4. If You Are The Only One Doing The Giving: If you are the only one putting in the effort, time, attention and resources into the relationship so that it can continue to exist then it’s totally unhealthy and complicated my dear.

A serious relationship is like a two sided coin. It is a give and take scenario.

For the sake of your mental health and healthy self esteem a one sided relationship should be a No-No.

Put your relationship under the search light. Ladies and gentlemen if your relationship is not a two sided relationship nearing balance it is time to think twice about you continuing to invest your time, effort and resources in a relationship that is bound to fail.

Don’t make your life complicated and difficult by wallowing in a complicated relationship.

Take your life back and move forward to something better.

I Cherish You

Loving you is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

I always wish I had met you before now.

Because your presence in my life has given it a better meaning.

If loving you is a crime, I will gladly chose to become the most wanted criminal in the whole world.

Sugar is sweet, honey is sweeter but your love is the sweetest of all.

Roses are red and violet are blue:but your love has made my life more colourful.

The thought of you gladdens my heart and brighten up my face with a smile.

You are my love, my joy and my happiness.

You mean the world to me.

I cherish you my love.

Love Doctor’s Advice 001

What you allow in your relationship will continue until you put an end to it. If you are not happy say it. Stop suffering in silence.

 

Learn to let go of what has already gone. Letting go of what doesn’t serve you anymore is the key to inner peace and true happiness. So stop trying to keep into your life anyone who made it clear he or she is no longer emotionally available for you.

 

Cheating is never a mistake but a choice. If you truly love someone and you don’t want to lose him or her, you should think twice about cheating on them. Because cheating damage trust and destroy relationships.

 

Relationship is a two way thing. It should never be a one-sided affair. Relationship is sweet, enjoyable and encouraging when the two lovers are actively involved in making things work. But it will be frustrating, exasperating and unhealthy if it is only one person striving to make sure things work out.

 

Giving someone a second chance is not bad thing: but you must be careful of who you are giving a second chance. So you don’t end up giving someone a second chance to hurt, exploit and manipulate you better than they did before. The best thing to do sometimes is to forgive and forget about them.

Four Reasons You Are Taken For Granted In Your Relationship

IMG_20180417_220629_605Love is a beautiful thing when it’s true and appropriately reciprocated between two people who find each other amazing.

Love can also be a hell on earth.

When love goes awry it result to pain,heartache and eventually heartbreak.
Life is nothing without love that is why people are either in love or searching for love.

However, the same love has led many into committing suicide or leading a mediocre life because their lives was derailed by a failed relationship.
If you are lucky to find true love it can be a source of inspiration to achieve something great in life.

On the flip side, if you get yourself on the wrong side of love it can distract you from being the best are you meant to be at any stage in life.
From my observation and interaction with people on relationship issues, being taken for granted is one of the most painful feelings experience in relationships.

We all want to feel important and treated as such. It is a psychological need deeply rooted in everyone of us. Being taken for granted by the one we love really hurt because of this psychological need.
When we are taken for granted by the one we really love, we make conscious effort to change their view about us.

We make effort to convince them to see us as a special and unique person that we are. Most of the time the attempt is futile.
I found out that most time there are some stuff we do that give us up as someone that can be taken for granted.

These are four things that can make people to take us for granted:
1. Lack Of Self Love: Thinking of loving yourself may come off as an act of selfishness but on a closer look it’s not. It is healthy and imperative for building a loving and healthy relationships. Even the Bible says love your neighbour as yourself.

Which means the amount of love you alloted to yourself will determine the amount of love you can give out.

Input determines output. The manner in which you give out love reflect the kind of love you have for yourself. It will also determine the kind of love you get in return.

So if you are not getting the kind of love you want, maybe it is right time for you to assess how much love you have for yourself.

Perhaps it is time for you to put on hold your search for love from others and focus on finding the love that is within.

When you start loving yourself aright then you will be able to attract the kind of person that will love you the exact way you want.

It is a natural law that people will treat you exactly the way you you perceive and project yourself. If you don’t genuinely love yourself it will eventually be known to others irrespective of how you try to cover it up.

Love yourself, treat yourself right and never take yourself for granted. It is just a matter of time before others follow suit.

2. Desperation: Most of us have one time or the other fall victim of this emotion. We want something so badly then we start getting desperate about it.

I always caution against this word whenever my advice is been sought after concerning relationship.

This is because desperation always make matter worse.The moment you started getting desperate to keep someone in your life, the person will start taking you for granted.

Desperation gives you up as a burden choking off your lover’s space or freedom. Desperation makes you act like a pest. There is a need for determination to make a relationship work.

But you must endeavor to differentiating between determination and desperation.

3. Failure To Define What You Want: If you aim at nothing,you will get nothing.

If you don’t know exactly what you want anything will do. Settling for anything is not a good thing. The reason some people are having difficulty in finding true love is because they keep falling in love with a certain type of personality over and over.

Doing the same thing a million times will generate the same set of result a million times, if you know what I mean.

To get a healthy and loving relationship you might need to sit down and draw out exactly what you want. I mean you should have a clear relationship goals.

In addition, you might need to be open to different kind of personalities and physical features. Because in the long run it is happiness and the feeling of been love that matters above any other things.

4. Save-Me Mentality: This can also be called Liability Disposition. This is common among the ladies. They see relationship as a source of income. This kind of thinking makes you cheap. It gives you up as a burden or liability. No man or woman will respect a partner who has turned himself/herself into a burden or liability.

To avoid being taken for granted in a relationship, you need to make yourself an asset to your partner.

Make a deliberate effort to contribute something to the relationship. Don’t go to the table empty handed, bring something valuable to the table.

Naturally a contributor is never taken for granted. Don’t see a relationship as a place to get something for yourself alone. Give something in return.
Work on yourself to become a better person consequently you will become a better lover. This will give you a chance to experience a better love life.

Let the change begins from within. And never allow anyone to take you for granted because you are special.

I Love You

No words can fully describe all the feelings I have for you.

I love making you laugh because your happiness is my source of joy and happiness.

When you are happy, i am happy too.

I love you with all of my heart, body and soul.

You complete me.

You make my life worth living.

To have known you and to have loved you has been the most beautiful dream.

I can only hope that I never wake up.

You are my one and only princess charming.

You mean the world to me.

I cherish every moment I spend with you.

Your love is worth more than diamond and gold to me.

If nothing last forever then me and you will be nothing forever.

I love you.

Love Doctor’s Advice 001

Never drag yourself though the mud, just because you want someone to love you and stay in your life.

People will treat you exactly the way you perceive and project yourself. Never give yourself up as someone cheap and in desperate need of love.

Don’t ever be a pest or parasite to people. Give people their space and seek to add value to people’s lives too.

Love is only sweet and worthy of its name when it is appropriately reciprocated.

Don’t settle for less. Go for what makes you happy and also add value to your life. Let happiness and growth be your watchwords.