Your Vibe Attract Your Tribe

Every individual ooze an aura that gives people impression about the kind of person they are.

This aura is also called vibe.

We all give out vibes and this vibe determines the kind of people- tribe, who are attracted to us and how we are treated by people. Our vibe is dependent on factors like our upbringing and past relationships.

For instance, people who were not shown unconditional love during childhood might have a problem with their self esteem and self perception when they become an adult.

Low self esteem will make you second guess yourself.

Low self esteem will make you feel you are not good enough.

The deeply rooted belief that you are not good enough will permeate through your body language, gesture, expression on your face and everything about you.

This sends a wrong message to people around you who will react and treat you accordingly.

People who were repeatedly abuse physically or emotionally during their childhood usually end up getting attracted to partners who physically or emotionally abuse them as an adult. They are so used to abuse to the extent that they sees it as nothing bad or abnornal.

My point is your childhood experience and past relationships can conditioned your mind to accept abnornalities in relationships as your norms.

So what can you do to make a positive change?

The solution is to take time to re-evaluate your life and relationship everyone once in a while.

Take time to identify what is working and what is not.

You can not continue to do the same thing over and over yet expect a different result.

You can not continue to give out the same vibe which attract the same tribe(people) yet expect to experience a different relationship result/experience.

You must ensure you have the right mindset and beliefs about relationship and life.

Never allow your childhood experience and past abusive relationships color your view about relationship in a negative way.

Don’t let your past keep you captive.

Re-define yourself and your perspective about relationship.

Don’t just settle for just any kind of relationship.

Being physically or emotionally abuse in a relationship is an abnormality, don’t ever accept it as your own norm.

Cheating is not normal in a healthy relationship, don’t settle for partners that are habitual cheaters.

It’s better to be alone and be happy than to be in a relationship that constantly cause you tears, pain and hurt.

Learn to love yourself and cease to spend time with people who continuously make you believe you are not good enough.

You are special, unique, amazing, wonderful and lovable.

Negative opinions of people about you should not be your reality. Create your own reality.

Adopt a positive mindset about life and relationship.

Set boundary for people. Don’t allow people to take you for granted or treat you badly. Learn to walk away from negative people and unhealthy relationships.

Build up your self-confidence. Respect and treat yourself very well.

You are good enough.

Break free from vicious circle of abusive and unhealthy relationships.

Love yourself unconditionally and keep company of people genuinely love you and values you.

Finally, be conscious of the vibe you give out. Ensure you are giving out positive vibes so as to attract positive people(tribe).

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Love Doctor’s Advice 011

Effort is an indication of interest. Any person that is genuinely interested in being a part of your life will put in the needed effort to be part of it. Anyone that truly care about you will never do anything that will hurt your feelings. Anyone that truly loves you will never wait for you to ask for their attention and affection before it’s given to you.

 
One important attribute of a healthy relationship is a peace of mind. Never waste your time in a relationship that consistently deprieved you a peaceful night sleep. Don’t continuously sacrifice your peace of mind just because you thought it will be very difficult to live without a partner that don’t care about your happiness or feelings. It is better to be alone and happy than to be lonely, unhappy and depressed in a relationship.

 
True love is when someone knows a lot about your past and still find you amazing. A person that truly loves you will never use your past mistakes against you.

 
Quit spending time with people who you have to continuously convince to see your worth. Start spending time with people who see your worth even at your worst. Be attracted to people that will convince you on your worst day that you are still worth their world.

 
People cheat because they chose to cheat. Cheating is never a mistake but a choice. Most time when people cheat it has nothing to do with their partner but speaks volume of who they are and what they chose to do.

Hurting People Hurt People

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Love and human beings are inseparable. Love is just an abstract thing which totally depend on human to be felt or expressed.

Love is a beautiful thing but human can chose to be good or wicked.

Your experience of love is totally dependent on the persons you encountered in your quest to find love.

If you come in contact with a wholesome person you will have a wholesome love experience. On the other hand, if you come in contact with a hurting person, what will most definitely happen is they will hurt you too either intentionally or otherwise.

 

I observe that there is a lot of bitter, broken and hurting persons has a result of hurt and disappointment from past failed relationships resulting in a vicious cycle of unhealthy and abusive relationships in recent time.

If you are hurting or broken hearted rushing into another relationship is not the best choice for you.

Oftentimes hurting people rush into the arm of another romantic partner not out of love but loneliness.

If you are hurting or broken hearted healing process should be your number one priority not another love affair.

When you are hurting you wouldn’t be in the right frame of mind to give your best in a relationship.

You will be skeptical about love and everything about the new partner. You will have trust and commitment issues. You will be absent minded in the relationship. All of these and many more will directly or indirectly hurt your new partner.

It is important to ensure you seek healing for your hurting and broken heart before you consider sharing the heart with someone new.

Don’t let someone who have no idea about who hurt you suffer for the pain and hurt you experienced in your past relationship.

7 Mistakes You Must Avoid If You Want To Be A Wife Material- A Lady Worth Keeping Forever.

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Lots of ladies enter into relationship with the hope of getting the ring but oftentimes things don’t turn out as expected. This usually make ladies assess themselves to know if they are qualify to be tag a wife material or not.

One thing i want all ladies out there to know is that it is not the man that determines if you are worth keeping(a wife material) or playing, it’s you.

Don’t hate the player, hate the game.

Relationship can be liken to a game. It has a rule and if you don’t know the rules you can’t win. You will be played like a fool. For you to win in any game you must understand the rules and code of the game.

Some ladies are being played by men simply because they don’t know the rules men play by. You can’t control how your opponent play but you have complete control over how you play.

A wise player wouldn’t worry too much about the other player, instead she will focus on mastering the game.

In a similar vein, as a lady you don’t have control over the intention of a guy towards you but you have total control over the impression you make on guys. You don’t determine if a guy will chose to be a player or keeper but you determine if you are worth being keep by a keeper.

In other words, you don’t have power to make a guy stay forever but you have power over portraying yourself as someone worth staying with forever.

So lets discuss the rules you must play by so that any man will see you as the type of lady to be kept (wife material).

We shall talk about what you need to control and master to avoid being played by players and prove you are worth being kept by a keeper.

The following are some mistakes ladies make which give them away cheaply and make them fall victim to players and make keepers think twice about keeping them.

 
1. Giving sex before establishing a serious relationship: You should know that no guy will put in the extra effort or go the extra mile to prove his love for you if what he is looking for is already given to him as freebies.

Never make a mistake of putting yourself in a situation where you are forced to ask “what are we?” after going down with each other. The question “what are we?” must first be settled before anything intimate.

 
2. Going with the flow: Never go with the flow if you don’t want to end up wasting your time. Am not saying you should force things. What am saying is be sure of what you have. Don’t guess, be sure.

Is it something serious with future prospect or just something for the moment.

Stop giving a guy a benefit of doubt when all he does is to make you doubt your position in his life while he is the only one enjoying the benefit. Don’t let any guy take undue advantage of you and also waste your precious time by putting you on a “long thing”.

 
3. Being moderate/modest: Don’t dress in a way that make guys conclude you are a hoe. Dress and conduct yourself exactly the way you will want people to perceive and address you.

 
4. Thinking all it takes to keep a man is good love making skills: That is very important though but you must raise your game above that.

Prove you are someone he can run to for sound advice. Don’t just bring your body to the relationship but also bring your mind. Make sure you are not bringing a dull mind though.

 
5. Expecting a man/relationship to be a jackpot to the good life: Relationship is not a source of income.

Men are not your gateway out of poverty except you want to turn yourself to a whore.

The best thing to do is to make you own money. Have plan for your life. Build a career for yourself. Be a lady that want a guy in her life not the one that need a man to survive.

 
6. Keeping more than one relationship at a time: A man that will be faithful and loyal to you for a lifetime will definitely want to be sure you are capable of same feat before taking you more serious and worthy of being kept forever.

Many guys will rather settle down for a lady that is not so beautiful but faithful and loyal over a very beautiful lady that find it difficult to be loyal and faithful for whatsoever reason. Be the faithful and loyal lady that any man will gladly want to make his wife without the fear of unfaithfulness and promiscusity.

 
7. Tolerating just any kind of thing: Guys want a lady that know her onions. Be a lady with dignity and self respect. Always hold your head up high. Carry yourself with confidence. Don’t allow any guy to disrespect you. Have rule and standard.

Set a limit or boundary for people concerning your private life and behaviours you will tolerate and reject. You should that what you tolerate teaches people how to treat you.
Learn the rules and avoid being played around like a novice.

Love Doctor’s Advice 010

Relationship are suppose to make us happier and better. If it is not making you happier and challenging you to be a better version of yourself than you could be on your own then it’s not worth your effort and time. Never settle for a relationship that deprieves you of your happiness and peaceful night rest or hinders you from going after your dreams.

 

 

Living your life base on the ideology that say ” What will be, will be” is like living your life base on chances, that is not good enough. Life is best live base on choices. Be decisive about the kind of relationship you want and the qualities you look for in a partner. Don’t just let life happen to you. Don’t settle for just anything that comes your way. Never put yourself in a situation where you have to settle for just any kind of relationship especially abusive or unhealthy ones.

 

 

There is nothing you can do to keep anyone in your life. Someone that want to stay in your life will stay no matter what you do: Someone that does not want to stay in your life, would not stay no matter what you do. Stop stressing yourself over how to keep someone that don’t want to be kept. Put in your best effort to make your work and leave the rest.

 

 

If you agree to cheat with him on his woman, you should know that he will cheat on you with other women if he eventually become your man. The way a relationship start often determines it’s flow and eventual end. If he left his woman because of you for no good reason, chances are he will later leave you because of another woman for no good reason. If it’s complicated never get yourself involve.

 

 

Four important questions you should always ask yourself with regards to your relationship are: (i) Am i happy being with him/her? (ii) Do i experience inner peace in this relationship? (iii) Does his/her actions shows that he/she care about my feelings and happiness? (iv) Does he/she encourage me to improve on myself and become a better person ?. Your answers will determines if the relationship is worth your time and effort.

Is been a while i posted. From henceforth there will regular and fresh post every week. Thank you.

Know Your Worth

When we find ourselves in a toxic relationship where we are being treated badly by our partner, we hope they are going to change for the better especially when the partner used to be sweet and good to us.

We put up with their not so good behaviours, doing a little complaining here and there but not doing anything definite to be taken serious by the partner.

So things remain the same or get worse.

The mistake most of us make is we don’t realize that its up to us to determine how people treat us.

Truth be told, you can’t change anybody- people are who they chose to be.

But your power lies in the ability to determine who stays or doesn’t stay in your life.

Now, that is a boundless power.

Until you realize and harness this power it might be difficult to be truly happy.

It is through this power we re-enforce or encourage how people should treat us.

You must know that what you encourage is what continues.

How do you encourage people to treat you in a certain way?

You do so by putting up with their actions.

When you put up with something you give a signal that such is okay with you.

I believe its time to stop enduring what is tearing you apart from within.

Take a stand for yourself.

Know your value and worth.

Don’t be in a relationship where you are not respected, appreciated and treated well.

If you are not being treated the way you want in your relationship, its better to get out of such relationship.

Your goal should be to be with someone that knows your value and treats you better than you think you deserve. #296 Quote

You Are The One

I have waited so long for a girl like you to come my way.

The moment i set my eyes on you i knew you are the one.

I am done searching because i have found the love of my life.

When you agreed to be my bae, i knew i must be the luckiest man in the world.

When you entered into my life, you change it for the best.

You are my source of joy and happiness.

Your love for me is so divine and unconditional.

What else could i ask for than to make you mine forever.

Our love story shall be a unique one with a happily ever after ending.

Our love shall have no end.

I want to grow old with you always by my side.

I want to put a ring on your finger to make you my wife.

I want you to be the first person i open my eyes to see every morning and the last person my eyes sees before sleeping at night.

In you i see my future wife and the mother of my unborn children.

I want you to know that you are the one i have being searching for all of my life.