What You Allow: Will Continue

There is no perfect relationship anywhere.

So don’t expect to have a perfect relationship but healthy and loving relationship is a realistic and attainable goal.

Every relationship has its own challenges but there are some issues that are not part of the challenges expected of a healthy relationship. Once they start showing up in your relationship then you should know that there is a fire on the mountain. Some of these issues include habitual cheating, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional manipulation, financial exploitation among others.

However, lot of people faces these issues and have gotten accustom to it to the extent of seeing it as a normal part of a relationship which is totally unhealthy.

Virtually, all relationship start on a sweet, loving and romantic note until one of the partners start showing their true colour -character.

If all relationships continues the way they begin, most relationships will never come to an end.
People usually start showing their true colour in relationships when they notice that their partner has become emotionally attached to them or after they have gotten what they want.

It is important to pay attention when your people start acting “who they truly are”. Don’t ever make a mistake of re-painting people when they show you their true colour by making excuses for them because of your emotional attachment to them.

It is better to end a relationship when your partner start showing his or her true colour before you get deeply involved in the quagmire over the time and you wind up in a complicated relationship.

Some people believe that what will be, will be but i don’t think it is wise to totally depend on such philosophy when it comes to relationship.

My belief is you meet your partner by fate and you fell in love by chance but your relationship will only work out by choice- the decisions you and your partner make with respect to your relationship. This is due to the fact that relationship requires effort if it will stand the test of time and be a healthy one.
However, it takes two to tangle. Only you cannot make your relationship healthy, loving and lasting. You and your partner must be actively involved in building your relationship to be healthy, loving and lasting.

In the course of building your relationship a lot of things will happen both the good and the bad. For the good stuff, you must encourage, appreciate and reciprocate if you want it to continue. For the bad stuff, you must address if you want it to stop.
Many people don’t want to be perceived as a nag hence they chose to keep quiet when they notice something is not right in their relationship.

The problem is ignoring a bad situation doesn’t make it disappear as many may have wanted.

It usually make situation worse.

The only way to arrest a bad situation is to address it immediately it rises.

Some people ignore problem because of the fear of what the outcome will be if they address it.

There are two possibilities when you decide to address an issue bothering you in your relationship as a result of your partner’s behaviour. The first is, the situation maybe remedy and your relationship will get better. The second is, the situation may get worse and the relationship will come to an end. Both outcome are very important. The first one indicate that your partner truly love and value you and the relationship while the second indicate otherwise.

Atimes you must be willing to let go before you can make some people want to change for good and stop taking you for granted.

Don’t be afraid of losing a partner that is causing you to continually lose your happiness and peace of mind.

Don’t allow your fear for loneliness make you remain in a relationship that continuously bring you sadness and sorrow.

Don’t allow an abusive relationship make you lose your sanity or send you to an early grave.
Whenever you notice something is not right in your relationship or you caught your partner doing what is not right, it is important to address the situation before it get out of hand.

Beyonce and Cardi B once caught their partner Jay Z and Offset respectively cheating. They address the issue instead of pretending it doesn’t happen. They both made it clear to their partner that they would not tolerate a cheating partner. Beyonce warning for Jay Z gave rise to her song “Lemonade”. Cardi B likewise sang ” Be Careful” to warn her unfaithful fiance, Offset of Migos.
The bottomline is this:

What you continue to keep quiet about and endure will continue to happen in your relationship.

If you are not happy with the situation in your relationship be courageous enough to speak to your partner about it, don’t die in silence.

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

If it is not working and making you happier than you can be on your own let your partner know what he or she is not doing right. Demand a change, if they refuse to change for better it is okay if you work out of the relationship.

Don’t allow any relationship make you feel you deserve to be treated as a second fiddle.

Don’t allow anyone make you feel you deserve to be physically, mentally, sexually or emotionally abuse.

Don’t lose your dignity and self-worth while trying to hold on to a relationship with someone who doesn’t even care about your feelings or happiness.

If you don’t want it to continue, demand a change or walk away. If you tolerate it, it will continue.

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