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Why I Created This Blog

I created this blog out of the desire to help contribute to people’s lives. I love to see people happy.

My observation is that relationship and successes(achievements) are the main determinant of happiness in our lives as human beings.

So i decided to contribute something that can help people to experience a better relationship through my blog.

The poem can be send to your lover.

The advice and articles are to provide guidance and help towards experiencing a better love life in healthy and loving relationship.

Let’s begin the journey together to a happy love life.

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Relationship Nuggets 001

Relationship is not about finding someone that will provide solution to all your problems. Having such mentality will make you become a liability in your relationship. Rather focus on finding a partner that wouldn’t become another problem in your life. A/An cheating/aggressive/abusive/irresponsible partner will create more problems for you than the happiness they will bring you. Don’t ever settle for an abusive/unhealthy relationship with the hope that things will change for good soon while you keep putting up with the physical/emotional abuse, emotional pain and torture or domestic violence. Hope alone wouldn’t change an abusive partner/relationship for good. Many have gone to their early grave because of this foolish hope. Be wise, it is better to be alone than to endure an abusive relationship. Loneliness wouldn’t kill but abusive relationship has made many leave this world unceremoniously.

 
Everyone comes into a relationship with their baggages. A good relationship is the one where both partners help each other to unpack those baggages. Almost everyone has been hurt, cheated, betrayed, disappointed, lied to in their past relationships and all these have a way of shaping our beliefs about relationships and how we will behave towards our partner in the next relationship. Find someone that will help you unpack your baggages. Fine someone that will help you unlearn bad habit and drop negative belief you picked in your past relationships. Find someone that will assist you to become better person. Their are lots of healthy, loving, lasting and supportive relationships if you are yet to be in one keep searching don’t settle for less.

 
Trust is very important in a relationship. Most issues causing fight, misunderstanding, argument and quarrels can be trace back to trust issues. If you want a healthy, loving and lasting relationship ensure you build a solid foundation of trust between you and your partner. Try as much as possible to be honest, truthful and open about everything and anything that can hurt your partner’s feelings if they found out by themselves. Learn to prevent yourself from lying to someone you want to trust you because you will find it difficult yourself to trust someone who is fond of lying to you.

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4 Signs That Will Let You Know If He Is A Player

One of the most frequently asked questions from ladies in Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa and India whenever I am sought after for relationship advice is “how can I know if he is real? “.

In other words, they are asking how can they differentiate between a guy that that truly loves them from those guys that just want to hit the jackpot few things and then hit the road.

Lot of single ladies are concerned about knowing how to separate a guy with genuine interest from the guy that is just after sex.

Guys who after getting sex move to the next available woman. Guys like that are often referred to as players because they play with ladies emotions in order to get what they want.

This article is written in order to help you spot guys whose intentions is to play around love just to get you to bed and then move to the next lady.

My purpose of writing is to help you as a lady avoid unnecessary heartbreaks, heartaches and disappointment.

Who is a player?

A player is someone who plays around love in order to get sex.

He pretends to have genuine interest in a lady until he gets what he is really after then shows his true colours.

A player is just after the moment, he doesn’t foresee a future with you.

A player is like a hunter, he keeps his gaze upon his target.

He does everything practically possible to get his target.

He chase unrelentingly until he gets what he wants.

He goes the extra mile.

He deceive.

He play the fool.

He creates a magnificent impression that makes him appear larger than life.

He is a rake and dandy.

The moment he gets what he wants from you the hunting game change.

The table turns in his favour because the chase becomes the chaser.

Once this happen they have the upper hand and begin to call the shot.

They will manipulate and take undue advantage of such a lady that falls into their Trap.

So how can you avoid falling victim to a player?

Here are signs that will help you know if a guy have a genuine intentions for you or he is just one of those players who are after sex and nothing more.

 
1) He Avoids Anything Definitive: One of the tricks of players is to be vague in their approach to ladies and relationships.

A player try every possible means to avoid being committed to just one lady/relationship.

They make you get confused about what exactly you have with them. You will be sure it’s not mere friendship because sex is involved but you won’t be able to define it as a relationship.

They leave doubting what you mean to them and where you belong in their lives.

They will awake your love without planning to actually love you back. They will make you become emotionally attached and hopeful about them without being committed to you.

They give you false hope that things will soon get serious between the two of you.

Their actions towards you will make you to continue to give them a benefit of doubt.

They will keep enjoying the benefits (your cookies) while you are in doubt of what exactly you share, who you are to them and if things will ever get serious.

Avoid guys who want to eat your cookies without any form of commitment.

If you are looking for a serious relationship don’t waste your time with someone who avoids defining what exist between you and him but just want you to go with the flow.

Guys like this want the package without paying for it.

They want to enjoy the goodies in a relationship without actually being in it in commitment-wise.

Before giving your goodies to a guy make you have both defined what you both want and he will be committed to you and the relationship.

Don’t be that lady he gives attention and affection to whenever he is horny.

These days players don’t hit and run. They hit and hit and hit until you run away yourself.

Be smart. Don’t be a sex object to any guy.

Define what is it that exist between you and a guy and let be clear to both of you.

 

2. He entices with money and material stuff: Players believe every woman has a price.

Player believe with money you can get any woman to open her legs. They believe all it takes to get any woman is money and material stuff.

Truth be told, this is true for many ladies though.

So a player never fails to use this weakness to their advantage when it comes to chasing women.

A player try his possible best to create a larger than life impression.

And this usually work because most ladies enter into a relationship because of monetary and material gain.

A player makes plan on how much he needs to spend in order to impress and get a lady to bed.

He is usually not bother about the cash he has to part with in order to get a lady because he doesn’t plan staying long with her.

His plan is always simple: spend some money to impress her, get her to bed and change your attitude towards her.

Some players even take the game to another level by not changing their attitude but planning to get the money they spent on the lady back through emotional manipulation and black mail.

So be careful if you run into a guy who is overly focus on impressing you with money and material stuff.

Think twice before you fall head over heels for such a guy because he might just be a player using it as a bait to trap you into his game.

 
3. He does everything in excess: This is another signs to look out for. A player studies his target and determines which method is best to put to use in order to get what he want.

They can be extremely controlling or assertive so as to intimidate you and make you give in.

They can also be extremely patient with you if you are proving difficult or hard to get.

Heard of stories of guys been patient with a girl for months just to in between the legs and still hit the road after getting it.

They can be extremely sweet with words if they find that to be your soft spot. Such will be sweet to you whenever he wants to get you to bed and change afterwards.

They can be extremely blunt about sex just to make you feel it is the coolest thing to do with them.

Most of these extremely blunt guys can stand a lady saying no to them. As a result they might insult and humiliate you just because you don’t give in to their sexual advances.

 
4. He doesn’t make attempt to connect with you: One thing that is certain about we guys is we usually try to connect with a lady we have genuine feelings for and plan having in our lives for a long period of time.

We always make effort to find out stuff about a lady we love in order to understand and be able to relate with her well.

In other words, we make concerted effort to connect if we truly mean business.

A player is not really interested in getting to know you as a person but just interested in getting under your skirt.

If he doesn’t make attempt to connect with you before getting physical with you changes are high he will never try to.

Don’t make a mistake of giving him more sex will make him become interested in you.

There is no amount of sex that will change the mind of someone that is not interested in you except for sex.
Finally, I will advise you also follow your heart. Our mind and heart have an uncanny prowess to detect if someone has genuine intention for us or not but most times we ignore the guidance of our heart and mind and still give the wrong person a chance to hurt us.

We usually allow loneliness, peer pressure, financial benefits and physical attraction get the best of us and distract us from seeing people the way they are.

I Want You By My Side

When am with you time fleets, a day goes by like a millisecond.

I need more hours with you.

I want to spend every minute of my life with you by my side.

I am at my best when am with you.

The sight of you cause my heart to leap for joy.

Your charming smile is all it takes to brighten up my day.

Your sweet voice is all it takes to turn a miserable day into a great day for me.

There is nothing I want more than to have you by my side every day of my life.

No distance is too far to walk just to be by your side.

I will gladly walk through fire, swim through ocean and climb the highest mountain if that’s what it will take to be with you.

There is nothing more important than having you by my side.

Nothing can make me stop loving and longing for you.

You are my dream come true.

Everything about you is perfect and beautiful.

You have make my life a beautiful one from the moment you became a part of it.

You are a gift from God to me.

Every Woman Reminds Me Of You

Beauty is believe to reside in the eye of the beholder.

My eye is yet to behold any woman as beautiful as you.

You are an epitome of beauty.

Your beauty is a riveting force that will hold captive any man that behold it.

You are beautiful inside out.

Everything about you is beautiful.

You have become a part of me.

You live inside my heart and head.

I can’t go a second without thinking of you.

Your love has captivated my soul.

Every beautiful and sexy lady I see make my soul long for you because they always remind me of you.

You are my joy, inspiration and everything.

You are irreplaceable.

When I hear a sweet voice, I remember your angelic voice.

When I see a beautiful face, I remember your natural beauty.

When I see a lady with a lovely stature, I remember your lovely and sexy body.

When I see a smart and intelligent woman, she reminds me of how brainy you are.

You are my perfect woman.

No woman can take your place in my heart and life.

2 Important Questions Most Ladies Usually Ask At The Wrong Time

Questions are so important in life because they help us find out answers to stuff that troubles our mind.

Asking questions from others help us to decipher their intentions toward us especially in a romantic relationship.

It is always important to ask questions and get clarifying answers instead of assuming things.

Most people usually assume their position in other people’s lives when it comes to relationship.

Have had stories of ladies and guys who assumed their position in other people’s lives only to find out later that the other person never see them as they have thought they mean to them.

If he didn’t ask you out, don’t assume you have a relationship just because he calls you often and cares about you or uses sweet words for you.

If she didn’t say yes, you don’t have a relationship.

Don’t assume you do because she visits or check up on you. What is not clearly defined usually results to waste of time and effort.

Assumption in relationships usually results to complication.

It pays to ask questions in order to clearly know your stand in a relationship.

Don’t think he wants you, let him spell it out by asking you out and making it official or you do the asking out yourself. Don’t think she wants you, let her spell it out by saying yes to your advances in words and actions.

Asking questions about where you stand in a relationship and where the relationship is heading to is one sure way to avoid heartbreak and waste of your precious time and effort.

So never go with the flow or string along just because you are tired of being single or carried away by the sweetness of person towards you.

Ask questions to be sure you are on the same page except you are not after something serious. Be sure he/she feels the same way about you.

Don’t waste your precious time in an imaginary happily ever after that doesn’t have a beginning.

This article is actually written to address two important questions most ladies usually ask at the wrong time from guys they love and want to have something with for a long period of time.

The wrong timing will not let you get the right answer(truth) and will make you vulnerable to guys that just want to use and dump you.

 
1. What are we: This is a very important question which most ladies ask at the wrong time.

The answer to this question will determine the foundation and direction of your relationship with a guy.

This question must have a concrete answer before you decide to get deeply involved with any guy.

Your relationship should be clearly defined.

It should never be assumed. Never assume you have a relationship with a guy just because he checks on you often or he is always sweet towards you.

Don’t be deceived by constant calls, freebies and sweetness. Guys will do whatever they need to do in order to go down with a lady without having anything clearly defined with her.

That’s why we have Friends with benefits.

Don’t be a victim except that is what you are looking for.

The right time to ask this question is before getting emotional attached and intimate with a guy.

Never make a mistake of going down with a guy before knowing your place in his life.

Asking a guy what are we after sex will make you appear as a joke and slut/cheap girl.

A guy that wants to take you serious might even have a second thought because he might assume that’s how you do with lots of guys even if you don’t.

 
2. Will you marry me: This is another important question ladies often ask at a wrong time. Most ladies ask this question before giving their body to a guy.

This question is often asked to know if the new guy wouldn’t run away after getting what he wants like the other guys have done in time pass.

Ladies I want you to think like a guy for a second.

If you are a guy and all you are after is sex and nothing more.

After trying everything to get her to bed but failed then you discovered that all it takes to eat the honey pot is to make a marriage promise.

Wouldn’t you make it and achieve your set goals.

Am sure if you haven’t fall victim to this, you must have heard about ladies that have been deceived by men with marriage promises just to get what they want.

If you want to know if a guy will marry you or not pay rapt attention to his words(both spoken and unspoken) and actions towards you on a regular basis.

When man has truly decide want to spend the rest of his life with you, you will know by the way he relates, cares and corrects you.

He will let you know about his dreams, aspiration and future plans. And you will definitely feature in those plans.

If a man truly loves you and foresee a future with you, he is going to factor you in into everything he does and it will be obvious to you and everyone around.

I hear ladies say you can’t know if a man truly loves you but I beg to differ.

Most ladies see the warning signs but as human beings we get easily carried away by emotion and chose to close our eyes to glaring back off signs.

In other words, we see what we want to see and ignore the reality.

If you pay rapt attention to your man actions and words towards you, you can easily tell his intentions towards you no matter how much of a liar and pretender he is.

The bottomline is this :

Define your relationship with a man before getting too intimate with him and be sure of what you want in a relationship before deciding to enter into one.

Finally, before you decide to invest your heart, body, soul and spirit into a relationship be sure it is something with a future so you don’t have reason to regret later in life about wasted time and effort or become a hater of all men because of what few men did to you.

 

For advice on any relationship issue, you can reach me through oluwaseyiadeoshun@gmail.com or DM me on twitter and instagram @seyilovedoctor

Don’t Marry A Man/Woman With These Behaviour: 4 Red Flag Signs You Must Not Overlook In A Relationship.

Relationship and marriage failure don’t just happen overnight. Relationships and marriages don’t turn violent, abusive and unhealthy all of a sudden. There are signs at the beginning that we often ignore because we chose to be blinded by our emotion or we are hopeful that things will just get better without addressing them. At the initial stage of the relationship people usually try as much as possible to be sweet and hide their true character. However, character they say is like a smoke which cannot be hidden forever- it always reveal itself.

One important thing to do at the beginning of a relationship is to pay close attention to the character/behaviour of your partner before you get too deeply attached to him/her emotionally.

You must never let your emotion get the best of you in the face of potential danger.

Don’t let your emotion do the thinking for you.

Don’t get too desperate to be in a relationship just because you are tired of being single.

Most abusive relationship could have been totally avoided at the beginning before getting deeply involved if only the persons involved had pay attention to red flag signs you must not ignore in a relationship before it get too serious.

Here are the red flag signs you must watch out for if you dont want to end up in a violent or abusive relationship/marriage:

1. Aggressiveness: I saw a video on twitter about a lady who was beaten black and blue by her ex just because she left him. In the video, she said she didn’t believe she could survived the violent attack. I must say she is lucky because most victims of aggressive and violent partners don’t live to tell their bitter story.

We can tell if someone is overly aggressive in a relationship but oftentimes we make excuses for their aggressive actions towards us because we have become emotionally attached to them.

If he hits you at will when you are still dating just imagine how often he will use you as a punchbag over little misunderstanding when you are both married.

Some ladies make a mistake of perceiving aggression as manliness.

If you think he will use his aggression to protect you, think twice because you will surely become a victim of it one day.

Aggressiveness is not only a male gender thing, it applies to the female too.

There are women physically abusing their husband or even ending their hubby life.

If she throws object at you or uses dangerous objects to threaten you during a misunderstanding, you should know that you are not safe in such a relationship.

Aggressiveness is a red flag sign that most people usually overlook when they allow their emotion to overrule their judgement.

The sad news is most people that make this grievous mistake don’t live to tell their story while few that survived abusive relationship with an aggressive partner carries with them a fearsome memory and an indellible scar they will not forget for the rest of their lives.

So be careful before you decide to ignore this red flag sign.

2. Irresponsible behaviour: Most people focus too much on physical looks and financial status before considering a prospective partner. That in itself is not a bad idea if only the important things are not trivialize or ignored completely.

The important thing to look out for when it comes to chosing a partner is the person’s behaviour/character.

This is because it is the behaviour of the person that will determine how they will treat you or conduct theirself in the relationship.

If you are planning to get married to someone, it is important for you to be sure he/she doesn’t have a behaviour that will frustrate and jeopardize the success of nuptial conjugation in the nearest future.

We have heard lot of stories of irresponsible partners leading to high rise in divorce rate in our generation. Some are stories of married men neglecting their marital responsibility while chasing single ladies in town. Or men neglecting their pregnant wife. Women are not left out. Stories of married women leaving their children and husband for a richer guy is also all over the place.

You must be sure if he/she is a responsible person. That’s someone that wouldn’t neglect his/her marital responsibily and daring the consequences.

3. Promiscuity: Staying faithful and loyal is a personal choice which require self control. Faithfulness and loyalty are very important for the success of any relationship/marriage.

However, some people are not willing to deny their body of any sexual pleasure.

They lack the self control/discipline require to stay faithful to one sexual partner. They allow their sexual urges dictate their action at the expenses of their relationship.

People like these often says everyone cheat.

You must stay away from people like these if you know you can’t handle seeing your partner sleeping around when you are married.

If he/she does it during dating/courtship period, chances are high he/she will continue to do it when you eventually get married.

Some people see promiscuity as a normal way of life.

They believe everyone cheats and it is impossible to stay faithful to one sexual partner for a long time.

These are lies promiscuous person or cheater use to justify their abnormal behaviour.

Cheating is not normal in a relationship. Cheating is not a mistake but a choice.

It indicates lack of self control over sexual urges.

It shows that the person don’t really care about hurting their partner’s feelings.

Men and women cheat.

Not all men cheat and same can be said for women.

Don’t make a mistake of settling for a promiscuous partner just because people are saying everyone cheat.

Not everyone cheat. There are still people(men and women) who don’t cheat.

4. Manipulative behaviour: This is the last red flag sign you should watch out for in a relationship before you consider take it to another level -marriage.

Some people are expert at manipulating people.

They don’t enter into a relationship because they are in love, they only enter when they have find someone they can manipulate and take undue advantage of financially or in other area base on their need.

What they do is to use people to further their own selfish cause.

They will blackmail you emotionally or bully/threaten you just to get what they want in the relationship.

Partner like this will want you to do everything for them as if you are oblige to.

If you fail to do what they ask of you, they will throw tantrum at you like kids do.

They will pick up a fight with you or say stuff that will make you feel guilty.

Be careful of emotional manipulators.

Pay attention to the red flag signs discussed so as not to regret your decision later in the future concerning your choice of partner like most married people are regretting.

Don’t Stay In An Abusive/Unhealthy Relationship: Relationship Is Not A Do Or Die Affair

Relationship is not a do or die affair.

Relationship should not be rush into just because you dread the feeling of being lonely.

Being single doesn’t mean your life is miserable.

So don’t enter into a relationship because you are lonely. You shouldn’t allow loneliness push you into unhealthy or toxic relationship.

Why would you stay in a relationship that bring continuous sorrow and pain to you, when there is someone out there who will cherish you and go the extra mile just to ensure you are happy.

Life is too short why would you decide to spend most of it in sadness and sorrow all in a name of relationship.

Our relationship determines to a great extent if we are going to enjoy our life on earth or not.

Though no relationship is perfect but a healthy relationship will not derail your life or career and bring you continuous sorrow, pain and sleepless night.

A person that truly loves you will always be careful not to hurt your feelings and make concerted effort to make you a happier and better person than you can be without him/her.

Relationship is not all about money.

Relationship is not all about catching feelings.

Relationship is not all about physical attraction.

You must learn to develop your emotional intelligence so as to prevent your emotions from controlling your life and causing you to make wrong choice when it comes to chosing a partner.

You must not allow your emotion to always determine the direction of your life and relationship.

Stop desiring or longing for someone who take you for granted just because he/she looks great or support you financially.

Stop longing for someone who you have to fight for his/her attention and affection just you find it difficult to stop thinking about him/her.

Stop falling in love with the same kind of people that keep using and dumping you.

Stop falling in love with people that make you feel inadequate and hard to love.

You need to displine and guide your heart.

Guide your heart with all dilligent for out of it flows the decision that will make or mar you in life and relationship.

Only give your heart to someone that will value and take good care of it.

Stop chasing people that you need to convince before they notice your worth and uniqueness.

Quit worrying about someone who does not have time for you.

You don’t need to beg for attention and affection from a person that loves and values you.

Learn to let go of any person or relationship that continuously cause you pain/hurt your feelings.

Any relationship that take away your happiness, peace of mind and sound night sleep is too expensive, let it go.

You must learn to know when to keep fighting for your relationship and when to give up on a dead relationship.

Love yourself enough to settle for someone that makes you happy and better.

You must also know that there is a difference between fighting for love and fighting for someone to love you.

Real and true love is never complicated, the moment things is getting complicated that is the best time to walk away.

Complicated relationship is nothing but time waster and joy killer.

Decide to always be with someone that cherish and appreciates you.

Decide to either be in a healthy relationship or be alone.